The sound of devils crying in the night reminded early colonists of Tasmania of mythical hellhounds. As terrifying as their screams sound, Tasmanian devils aren’t much of a danger to humans— but they are to each other.
Not so long ago a vicious cancer began killing these animals and the initial cause of the disease was a mystery. As scientists began studying them they discovered that the cancerous tumors were self-inflicted! It’s not uncommon for the Tasmanian devils to fight and bite one another over a carcass or the rights to a female.
The devil’s ears will burn a bright red color when they’re upset but when they lash out at one another they further their own extinction. The bite wounds develop into a mutating cancer that will grow until eventually they succumb to the disease— or starvation.
At times people can also be guilty of destroying one another. Not with teeth, but through gossip and sadly the church isn’t immune to this disease, either. It’s no wonder that God warns us about the dangers time and again through His Word (Proverbs 11:13; 20:19).
“But if you bite and devour one another, take care that you are not consumed by one another.” – Galatians 5.15
Three Ways To Guard Against Gossip
Avoid being a spreader. It will build your integrity and trustworthiness.
Make it a point to speak highly of the person being slandered.
Offer biblical solutions instead of contributing to the gossip. This assumes the person spreading the gossip is genuinely concerned about the person(s) they’re talking about. Have they confronted the subject of their gossip (Matt. 18.15-20)? If they’re unwilling to act but willing to talk— avoid them.
Water is an unstoppable force. Every year, 40 billion dollars worth of damage is caused by flash floods around the world. There’s nothing you can do to stop a tsunami, a flooded river, or a tidal wave. Water is powerful. Just go to the ocean and try to fight against the waves as they crash into the beach. I ain’t exactly a small guy, last I checked I was 186 pounds (more like kilograms…), and I get thrown around like a rag doll by the waves.
There are certain parts of God’s creation that are a reminder of His power. No matter what advancements we make, what towns and cities we build, they can be wiped out in seconds by what we call “natural disasters.” I want you to picture in your mind a roaring river. Think of the trees that are swept away, the damage that occurs as a million pounds of water flood a river bed. Let’s read James 3, and keep that image in our minds.
The tongue is James’ focus as we read verses 1-12. The small muscle behind your teeth is a source of great destruction. James, the half brother of Jesus, paints a vivid picture of the tongue. He describes it basically as a weapon of mass destruction.
And for good reason. Just like a tidal wave can cause billions in damage, the tongue causes all kinds of terrible destruction. The human race as a whole speaks a staggering amount of words every single day. Let’s do the math. The average person speaks between 18-25 thousand words a day. With around 8 billion people on the planet we’re looking at around 150 trillion words that are said every day.
And God listens to every single one, He remembers every word. Sadly, the overwhelming majority of those words are evil. And that’s exactly what James is trying to address in this section of scripture. As Christians, the words we speak should be different from the rest of the world.
Leading up to chapter 3, James has just finished a discussion on faith and works.
Faith without any works is dead. If your faith in God isn’t actually affecting what you do, then it is a dead faith, and it is useless. Even the demons believe, but they don’t change their lifestyle. Immediately after this section he talks about the tongue. That’s because there is a strong connection between the heart and the tongue. Your faith and your words are tied hand in hand. How you use your words, what you say to others, is essential to your salvation. If you can’t guard your words, your faith is dead. The transformation of the tongue is essential. It may be the single greatest proof that you really are a Christian.
We must tame the tongue because we are judged by our words. James 3:1 says, ”Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness.” I’ve got to be honest, as a teacher this verse is a very sobering reminder. Each Sunday, I get up and speak, and how my words impact people’s faith is seen by God. James says, don’t take the role of teacher without seriously examining your motives. When you teach, God is going to be stricter with His judgment of you. When we accept the responsibility to teach the word of truth, we will give an account for what we teach.
Keep in mind, as Christians we are expected to teach others and become teachers (Heb. 6, Matt. 28:18-20). So what is James saying? In the first century many wanted to become teachers for the wrong reason. They had bad intentions. Teachers in the first century were highly regarded and were elevated in society. Many were motivated to teach, not because they wanted to share the word, but because they wanted power and influence. James says later on that these teachers were speaking out of selfish ambition and jealousy (3:14). So James is saying, unless you’re doing it for the right reasons, don’t become a teacher! Because by our words we are judged, and as a teacher, that judgment is even more severe.
In His ministry, Jesus linked the heart directly to our words. In Matthew 12:34-35, He says, “You snakes! You are so evil. How can you say anything good? What people say with their mouths comes from what fills their hearts. Those who are good have good things saved in their hearts. That’s why they say good things. But those who are evil have hearts full of evil, and that’s why they say things that are evil.” The heart is the issue. If you want to know the spiritual state of the heart, listen to your words. They are controlled solely by your heart. And that is why Jesus says we will be judged by our words, because what we say is written on our hearts.
In Matthew 12:36-37, He continues, ”I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.” On that final day, God will look at the sum total of your words, and He will know all He needs to know about the condition of your heart.
As a side note, if you struggle with feelings of doubt about your salvation, just keep track of what you say. If your words are filled with love, encouragement and praise, you can be sure of your salvation. But if your speech toward others is filled with lying, hate, gossip and insults, God will judge your heart by what He hears. So start controlling your tongue! Start encouraging each other, start sharing the gospel! Because the words filled with love bring about salvation, but the words filled with resentment, hate, gossip, and anger will send us into torment for all eternity.
Why should we be so concerned about taming our tongue? Because one day, we will be judged by every word we have said.
Concerning Money: Don’t judge a book by its cover (7). The wealthy face threats and dangers that the poor do not (8). Get rich quick schemes usually fail (11). People who are “too smart” to learn earn poverty and disgrace (18). A good name is better than wealth (22; cf. 22:1). The resources of the poor are often robbed by injustice (23).
Concerning Desire: You can tell a lot about a person by what he wants (2). Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life (12). A desire fulfilled is sweet to the soul, but to turn away from evil is an abomination to fools (19). Godliness with contentment is great gain (25; cf. 1 Tim. 6:7).
Concerning Laziness: The lazy person wants but never gets, but the hard worker gets by diligence (4).
Concerning Teachability: A scoffer ignores rebuke (1). The wise take advice, but strife follows the rebellious (10). Those who hate the word destroy themselves (13). Good teaching is a fountain of life helping us avoid deadly traps (14). Every prudent man acts with knowledge, but a fool flaunts his folly (16).
Concerning Speech: The difference between life and ruin is determined by how well you control your tongue (3; Jas. 3:2ff). A faithful messenger brings healing (17).
Concerning Character: The righteous hate falsehood (5). Righteousness paves a protected path (6). The light of the righteous rejoices (9). The righteous are rewarded with good, not disaster (21). The righteous have enough, but the wicked never do (25).
Concerning Common Sense: Good sense wins favor (15). Every prudent man acts with knowledge (16).
Concerning Friends: To be wise, walk with the wise (20).
Concerning Child Training: Spare the rod, spoil the child (24).
Proverbs are general truths, tried and found to be the rule rather than the exception. All of God’s Word serves as a guidepost for success in every way it can be measured. These proverbs are short, insightful, and inspired tidbits of helpful guidance, intended to help us know the way to strengthen our relationships and steward our resources. Many are the sad, foolish persons who ignored these instructions to their own hurt. Many who thought they came up with brilliant insights do not know that they are merely echoing the sounds of God’s wisdom.
“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”
If you were to open up any Greek interlinear (like in the BlueLetter Bible app) and look at the key words in this verse it becomes even more practical.
Unwholesome:
“Rotten, putrefied”
Helpful:
“good, pleasant, agreeable, joyful, happy”
Benefit:
“that which affords joy, pleasure, delight, sweetness, charm, loveliness: grace of speech”
There are three rules for winning words in Ephesians 4.29 and they are…
1. Don’t let anything rotten come from your mouth. If it comes from a bad place keep your mouth shut.
2. If it doesn’t build someone up don’t say it. Our ultimate goal must be to promote growth and if it doesn’t do that, it’s not worth saying.
3. If It doesn’t bring delight, show grace, or joy in the end— don’t say it.
This is the way Jesus treats us. If it’s God’s approach then who are we to say otherwise? No excuse, situation, or feeling should remove grace from the words we say.
Inevitably, every congregation of God’s people has an overriding emphasis. It’s probably the thing that the community, if it knows about them, associates them with. It could be the thing that the entire brotherhood associates them with. It’s almost certainly the thing those who attend there understand it to be. The same is true of you and me. It’s true of our families, our marriages, and our individual selves. Something is so important in our lives that it is what people think of when they think of us. What is that? What should it be?
Corinth had developed a reputation, as Chloe’s household reported, for quarreling (1:12). That was a problem! Paul is writing this letter, in part, to help them right the ship and move in the proper direction (1:10). How did he propose to do that?
WHAT NOT TO EMPHASIZE
Superiority Of Speech (1)–This was not going to help. His goal was proclaiming to them the testimony of God. Saying it in high, lofty ways would be a hindrance rather than a help. The remedy was much, much simpler.
Human Wisdom (1)–He has already told them why this was counterproductive. Human wisdom led to thinking the cross of Christ is foolish (1:22-23). Two, the “foolishness” of God (1:21) was wiser than men (1:25). Third, not many who are wise according to the flesh answer God’s call (1:26). Fourth, God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise (1:27). Fifth, Jesus became wisdom from God to us (1:30). So often, the foundation of man’s capacity to understand and function from that understanding is faulty. Logic, reasoning, and understanding devoid of God’s wisdom is destined to destroy and divide.
Persuasive Words Of Wisdom (4-5)–If human wisdom is the cause, persuasive words of wisdom is the effect. Listen to the world’s experts in just about any discipline. If they do not ignore God’s plan and His way, they mock and ridicule it. They even rail against it. To those who refuse to take the time and effort to scrutinize those persuasive words, it may sound intelligent or at least adequate to build their lives on. Tragically, their persuasive words are spiritual sand (Mat. 7:24-27).
WHAT TO EMPHASIZE
Jesus Christ And Him Crucified (2)–Paul has laid the groundwork for this at the very beginning of the letter. When a people are known for divisiveness, they need to train their eyes on the crucified Lord. If we let His love and sacrifice dominate our thinking and focus, there is NO WAY we will let our selfish agenda, pride, or hunger to be in charge. This emphasis trumps being entertained, being unconditionally tolerant, being Pharisaical, being comfortable, or being a social club.
Demonstration Of The Spirit And Of Power (4)–What will happen if we base our plans, our budgets, and our works on what God can do through us? What if what we hear when we assemble for worship or get together for fellowship is God’s thoughts and ways? That’s what Paul wanted Corinth’s faith to be in.
The Wisdom Of God (5-9)–Human wisdom led Jesus to be crucified in the first place. God accomplished His eternal purpose through it, but the rulers of Jesus’ day did not kill Him on a cross with that understanding. It was God’s wisdom, revealed by the Spirit, that Paul is speaking about when he says, “Things which eye has not seen and ear has not heard, And which have not entered the heart of man, All that God has prepared for those who love Him” (9). This quotation of Isaiah 64:4 is not a reference to heaven. Many have quoted 1 Corinthians 2:9 to say that heaven is going to be greater than anything we’ve seen, heard, or even dreamed of. That’s a true sentiment, but it is NOT what Paul is talking about here. He’s talking about something the Spirit has already revealed (10), the revelation of God’s Word. That must be our emphasis!
The Spirit’s Revelation (10-16)–This is what to preach and practice. Paul gives insight into the process that brought us Scripture. The Spirit searches the deep things of God (10), gives it to us (12), teaches us, combining spiritual thoughts with spiritual words (13), and reveals the mind of Christ (16). Jesus promised that this would come to fruition (John 14:26; 16:13), and this letter to Corinth was part of that process. How do we know what we SHOULD emphasize? We need to consult the “mind of Christ” found on the pages of the New Testament.
Wouldn’t it be great if our congregation, with every single member in it, had the reputation in our brotherhood and our community as a people so full of the saving message of Jesus and Him crucified that it consumed our thinking and actions and drove our purpose and our mission? I want to be able to say with integrity, “I determined to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ, and Him crucified.”
One notices how frequently Job dismisses his “friends” as poor comforters when reading Job. This accusation is not surprising, given that Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar were all involved in Satan’s trial of Job. However, the devil took advantage of an all-too-common human flaw: a lack of active listening skills. Job’s companions were more interested in displaying their wisdom than listening to what he said.
The three guests should have listened to Job before passing judgment on him, but they were too full of themselves to do so. Job’s frustration with his friends’ inane chatter is a clear speech and active listening lesson. Active listening, which entails paying attention, demonstrating comprehension, and responding appropriately to the speaker’s emotions and needs, is highly valued in psychological studies.
Here are seven ways Job points out the failings of Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar.
They possessed superficial understanding. Job condemns his companions for their insensitivity and failure to comprehend his predicament. He feels they can’t possibly understand how much pain he’s been through or how complicated his life has been (cf. Job 16.2; 19.2).
They made false assumptions. Job accuses his friends of making incorrect assumptions about his character and actions. They imply that Job’s suffering directly results from some hidden sin or wrongdoing, which Job emphatically denies (cf. Job 11.2-3).
They lacked compassion. Job condemns his friends’ callous behavior. He believes they care more about proving their theological points than comforting him in his suffering (cf. Job 6.14–15).
They offered empty words. Job criticizes his friends’ meaningless and empty speech. He claims that rather than relieving his distress, their words made it worse (cf. Job 16.2-3).
They needed to provide more adequate explanations. When Job’s friends try to explain away his pain, Job questions their motives. He considers their theological justifications flimsy at best (cf. Job 21.34).
They should have offered practical help. Job expresses dissatisfaction with his friends’ lack of helpful assistance or support. He expected them to be there for him in his hour of need, but they fell short (cf. Job 6.14).
They lacked empathy. Job accuses his friends of being uncaring and failing to put themselves in his shoes. He thinks they cannot comprehend his suffering (cf. Job 19.21).
As previously stated, these men took part in Satan’s trial of Job. As a result, he allowed them to show off their flaws. The devil employs three methods of temptation, one of which is boastful pride in one’s own life. Pride indeed compelled Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar to be lousy comforters.
But what about you and me when faced with the trials of a friend? Can’t we also be bad comforters? To make this more concrete, consider the following reasons for failure that do not involve pride or poor active listening skills:
We are uncomfortable. Empathy is the ability to connect with and comprehend the emotions of others, including their pain, sadness, or distress. People may sometimes find it emotionally difficult to confront or experience those intense emotions. This discomfort can make genuine empathy challenging to express.
We need more life experience to be able to assist. It can be difficult to empathize with an experience one has not personally experienced. When there is no direct personal reference point to draw on, understanding and relating to someone’s emotions and struggles may be more difficult.
We are afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing. People may be concerned about saying the wrong thing or causing additional distress. Fear of saying something insensitive or inadequate can lead to a reluctance to express empathy.
We are concerned about cultural, ethnic, or socioeconomic barriers. We are hesitant to lend a helping hand because we do not share common bonds, such as culture, ethnicity, educational attainment, etc., with those needing our understanding. These things indeed impact our interactions with others, for better or worse, but unfortunately, they can and do become obstacles. This fact is especially true in modern society, which goes out of its way to emphasize such differences between people of different backgrounds and experiences for political purposes. Nobody wants to be labeled an “ist” for inadvertently touching culturally sacred cows.
We are unable or unwilling to see things from a different perspective. I am not suggesting that we ignore sin. However, someone may see things differently than we do. How good are we at looking at things from different angles? Empathy necessitates understanding another person’s emotions and experiences from their point of view.
We are exhausted and overwhelmed. If you are already a caregiver for someone else, you may have already expended a lot of emotional energy dealing with their needs. Unfortunately, these personality types attract those needing assistance while being harder on themselves by refusing to say “no” to those in need. As a result, a person wants to help but is emotionally “running on empty.”
We need effective communication skills. Listening entails more than just our ears picking up on the sounds made by others. Indeed, the brain must assign meaning to those sounds. We must allow our minds to process what others say. We call this action active listening. Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar lacked this ability. If we only want to offer advice, we will focus on a few words and practice our response without giving the other person a fair hearing. Or we won’t listen because we’ve already decided what we will say based on what we think we know about the situation. Active listening, like Biblical love (agape), necessitates effort.
The story of Job is one of human connection and communication in the face of adversity. We are encouraged to confront our fears, discomfort, and insecurities to practice active listening, genuine empathy, and love that embraces the other’s pain in shared sorrow and hope. In a superficial world, listening is witnessing another’s soul; the greatest gift we can give in times of suffering is to hear others. This sacred act of listening best expresses our shared humanity and journey through life’s frequently turbulent sea. May we reassure those around us by genuinely listening to their stories instead of offering rash advice or superficial comfort. As Job teaches us, listening is invaluable to someone who is hurting.
At the 1993 annual meeting of The American Heart Association, 300,000 doctors, nurses, and researchers met in Atlanta to discuss, among other things, the importance a low fat diet plays in keeping our hearts healthy. Yet during meal times, they consumed fat-filled fast foods such as bacon cheeseburgers and fries at about the same rate as people from other conventions. When one cardiologist was asked whether or not his partaking in high fat meals set a bad example, he replied, “Not me, because I took my name tag off.”
Seeing hypocrisy in the church has caused many people to fall away. Sadly there are some who claim to be Christians, and it’s in name only. These people often give the church a bad reputation. Many in the world look at the church and say that it runs rampant with hypocritical people.
Being a Christian means following Christ all the time. No natter the circumstances. We can’t just “take our name tag off” so to speak. People are always watching. They’re looking to us on how to act. 1 Thessalonians 2:9 reads, “For you recall, brethren, our labor and hardship, how working night and day so as not to be a burden to any of you, we proclaimed to you the gospel of God.”
Paul and the other apostles showed the Christians at Thessalonica, by example, how to act. Notice what Paul says: “For you recall, brethren, our labor and hardship.” The Thessalonians could look back and remember the example that the Apostles gave for them to follow. Are we like this? Or are we all talk? People will follow the examples that our actions portray.
The example that our actions set are powerful.
So the question is, “what kind of example are we setting?” We can have only two types of example–good or bad. Our example, whether good or bad, can decide the eternal fate of those that see our actions. Paul and the apostles set a great example for the church at Thessalonica.
Paul writes in Philippians 4:9, “What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.” We see from this how Paul’s example was so good that he tells the Philippians to practice it and God would be with them. Are we confident enough to say this to another Christian? We must be careful that we show by the way we live that we truly believe what we preach to others.
In Psalm 19:14, David says, “May the words of my mouth be acceptable in your sight.” Knowing that the author of scripture is God Almighty, David hopes that the words he speaks would be impacted by his knowledge of the Law. Shouldn’t we long for the same thing as Christians? We know who the author of the Bible is, we understand the way we are called to live and speak, and that should influence our words. The Bible is very clear on how we are to speak.
Our words are a direct reflection of our faith. James 1:26, “If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person’s religion is worthless.” Do you call yourself a Christian but fail to control your words? James would say we are deceiving ourselves. Our speech is directly impacted by our religion. Our faith should change our speech and make it stand out from the world.
The Bible also gives us a very sobering warning in Matthew 12:36-37. Jesus says, “I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.” On that day will we find justification or condemnation from the words we have spoken? We should use this knowledge to help guard our speech. Scripture also tells us in Luke 6:45 that, “The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.” We can know the condition of our hearts by what is contained in our words.
Our tongue has a way of getting us in trouble. Ever heard the saying, “Keep your words soft and sweet because you never know when you may have to eat them”? We can do a lot of damage if we aren’t careful.
On every car there’s this handy little device called a fuel filter. A fuel filter is in between your car’s engine and the gas tank. Its job is to keep all the sediment and dirt that accumulates in the gas tank over time from getting to the engine. Basically it keeps impurities from destroying your engine. Our words need a fuel filter between the mind and the mouth. Think about what you are about to say. Is it impure or harmful in any way? Don’t say it. President Calvin Coolidge was famously known as a man of few words. His nickname was “Silent Cal.” His wife, Grace Goodhue Coolidge, told the story of a young woman who sat next to her husband at a dinner party. She told Coolidge she had a bet with a friend that she could get at least three words of conversation from him. Without looking at her he quietly retorted, “You lose.” Coolidge understood very well the value of using only carefully considered words—and those being few in number.
We filter our words and carefully choose them because, like David, we understand who we belong to when we are Christians. God now owns our words and we use them to glorify Him in everything. God’s Word should affect our own words.
A prominent religious group is pretty well-known for their use of archaic pronouns in prayer. When asked about it, their official response is (paraphrased), “It’s more reverent and respectful,” (ldsliving.com). They believe that prayer is something that requires a special vocabulary, one that demonstrates a deeper respect for God.
We do it, too, and for the same reasons they cite. I would like to offer some points to consider:
1. Early Modern English does not demonstrate a greater level of respect. Why not use Middle English? Why not use Greek or Hebrew or Latin or Aramaic? From a purely linguistic standpoint, thee/thou/thine are not more formal in this century, and haven’t been for roughly three centuries (Yaswen, University of Toronto). Reverence comes from the heart. It is not something that can be invoked with a special vocabulary.
2. It can be detrimental to evanglism. God expects us to emulate our culture as long as it doesn’t violate his law (I Cor 9.19-27). Many non-religious people, when talking about religious things, will switch to archaic, exaggerated English to highlight the oddness of religious people. An example in mainstream culture is the show Supernatural. One of the main characters reads something with archaic wording to another main character. When asked about it, his response was, “…that’s how God talks” (S8, E19). If our goal is to reach the lost, we should try to avoid potential obstacles (that aren’t related to doctrinal issues). When we invite them to worship, hearing, “Well-pleasing in thy sight,” or, “This, thy table,” or, “We thank thee, father,” etc. may reinforce Christianity’s irrelevance/social incompatibility in their minds.
3. Biblical prayers do not teach a pattern of special language at all. Jesus’ example prayer was very simple (Matthew 6). Paul’s prayers did not differ from his conversational language (Eph 1.18; 3.14ff; Rom 1.8-10; 15.30-33; I Cor 1.4ff; II Cor 1.3ff; 9.12ff; Col 4.2ff; I Thess 3.9ff; 5.23f; II Tim 1.16ff; Philemon 4ff). No New Testament example suggests that using anything other than conversational language is superior. What does matter is our spiritual state when we pray (Jn 9.31; I Pt 3.7; I Tim 2.8).
To be very clear, this is not a salvation issue at all. This is not even an indictment those who use Early Modern English pronouns in prayer. I strongly believe that Christians who pray or direct worship using old English have pure motives and are simply doing what they think most honors God! Hopefully this will serve as encouragement to evaluate our approach to prayer and worship so we can most effectively lead people to God.
“To the Jews I became like a Jew so that I could help save them…to those who don’t practice the Law I became like someone who doesn’t practice the Law to help save them (though I am still ruled by Christ’s law). To those who are weak, I became weak so that I could help save them. I did this so that I could save people in any way possible. I do all this to make the Good News known. I do this so I can share in the blessings of the Good News” (I Cor 9.20-23).
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