relationships

When Love Becomes A Command

Brent Pollard

Learning Love in a World That Forgot Its Meaning

Kyoto Animation released an animated series about an orphan who becomes a weapon of war in a fictional world resembling early twentieth-century Europe. The orphan’s name was Violet Evergarden. During her time in the war, her last handler, Major Gilbert Bougainvillea, couldn’t see her as just a weapon. In their final campaign together, he was gravely injured, and Violet herself was severely hurt. Major Bougainvillea’s last words to Violet were words she could not understand: “I love you.”

When Violet wakes up, she is recovering from her injuries, unaware of the Major’s whereabouts. Claudia Hodgins, Gilbert’s friend, keeps his promise to care for Violet. Hodgins runs the C.H. Postal Company, an amanuensis service where women called Auto Memory Dolls type letters for a largely illiterate population. He offers Violet a job, which she accepts mainly to understand Bougainvillea’s final words. As she interacts with clients, Violet gradually uncovers the true meaning of that mysterious word “love.”

Love That Transcends Death

Of her clients, the one most closely imitating biblical love was Clara Magnolia. Clara was terminally ill and knew she would not live to see her daughter, Anne, grow up. Despite her pain and limited time, her primary focus was ensuring her daughter would feel loved and guided throughout her life, long after she was gone. Clara spent her final days dictating fifty letters to Violet—one for each of Anne’s birthdays for the next half-century.

This required immense effort and time away from the little she had left with her daughter. Her love was not merely a feeling but a tangible plan of action that transcended death. She arranged for annual delivery, providing enduring comfort and a constant reminder of her presence. Her goal was solely Anne’s well-being and emotional security, giving her the strength to move forward despite the loss. Violet herself was profoundly moved, crying for the first time as she processed the depth of a mother’s love.

Here was love in its purest form—not sentiment, but sacrifice. Not words alone, but action that costs something. The mother’s letters became a testament to love’s refusal to be conquered by death itself.

Why Love Must Be Commanded

Violet Evergarden’s unfamiliarity with love might seem extreme to us. Yet this is understandable, given her background—an orphan raised without nurturing, trained from childhood to fight her country’s enemies. Major Bougainvillea was the only person who ever showed her kindness. Consequently, the phrase “I love you” would seem foreign to her. If someone had asked her to love at that moment, it would have felt more like a command than a natural feeling.

And here lies a profound truth: Christ’s love is commanded precisely because it does not come naturally to us.

The New Commandment That Wasn’t Exactly New

Have you ever wondered why Jesus called His command to love a “new commandment” or why such a command was even needed? (John 13:34). Moses’ Law instructed people to love their neighbors as themselves (Leviticus 19:18). But by Jesus’ time, legalists had distorted this idea so much that they only required love for a specific group they chose.

To correct this misconception, Jesus told the parable of the Good Samaritan (Luke 10:25-37). In the story, a member of a hated ethnic group is depicted as the neighbor. Unlike the priest and Levite, this Samaritan demonstrated compassion toward a stranger. As Jesus describes him, this Samaritan was ready to set aside his own self-interest to love another (see Philippians 2:3-8).

The newness of Jesus’ command lay not in its novelty but in its radical scope and depth. God, in His sovereignty, ordained that His people would be marked not by external rituals but by sacrificial love—the very nature of His own character made visible in human relationships.

The Washing of Feet and the Death of Self

In the context of Jesus’ command to demonstrate this “new love,” He humbled Himself by kneeling to wash His disciples’ feet (John 13:4ff). As no one was there to fulfill the role of hospitality, Jesus took on that servant role Himself. By doing so, He set aside His position as “Lord and Master” (John 13:14 KJV). Jesus also assumed this role to correct the disciples’ misunderstanding about who was the greatest among them (see Luke 22:24).

He did this because, as Paul later explained, this love “does not seek its own benefit” (1 Corinthians 13:5 NASB). Such is this self-sacrificial love that it enabled Jesus to demonstrate it fully by laying down His life for others (John 15:13).

Consider the basin and towel. In that moment, the infinite became the servant of the finite. The God who spoke galaxies into existence knelt to wash the dust from human feet. This was no mere object lesson but the revelation of what love actually is: the voluntary descent of the greater to serve the lesser, the strong making themselves weak for the sake of the weak.

Learning to Love the Unlovable

The reason Jesus had to command this love is that it doesn’t come naturally to us. We often see love as reciprocal—if you love me, I will love you back. Jesus understood this mindset, so He taught that we should love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us (Matthew 5:43-44).

He also demonstrated this love personally. As the Romans crucified Him, Jesus asked for forgiveness for those who had clamored for His death: “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34 KJV). Although such love can be challenging to learn, it is possible to learn. The first Christian martyr, Stephen, exemplified this love when he prayed for his killers: “Lord, do not hold this sin against them!” (Acts 7:60 NASB95).

The Mark That Cannot Be Counterfeited

Jesus continues in John 13:35: “By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another” (NASB95). There is no doubt that the lack of unity in messaging among those calling themselves Christian discourages the world from accepting Christ. But perhaps more damaging than this confusion is the failure of God’s people to demonstrate the new love of Jesus Christ.

In a world full of people like the fictional Violet Evergarden—who fail to understand the meaning of love—Christians are supposed to be known for showing true love. They are called to love one another unconditionally, just as Christ loved them. This kind of love is sacrificial, forgiving, and selfless—traits that are counter-cultural and truly distinguish Christians.

Someone once observed that the church’s greatest testimony is not her doctrine, though doctrine matters immensely, but her life. When believers love with the love of Christ, they create a spiritual reality that cannot be explained away by skeptics or replicated by the world. This love is not sentiment but substance—not the shadow of affection but the solid thing itself, rooted in the eternal nature of God.

A Love That Transforms the World

By demonstrating this love through their actions and relationships, believers have the opportunity to genuinely reflect the character of Christ to a hurting and broken world. It is through this love that hearts can be changed and lives can be eternally transformed, drawing others to the hope and redemption found in Jesus.

Like Clara Magnolia, writing letters that would outlive her, Christians are called to practice a love that transcends the immediate, serving not for reward but because Christ first loved us. Like the Samaritan who stopped when others passed by, we must demonstrate compassion that costs us something. Like Stephen facing his executioners, we must learn to forgive even when forgiveness seems impossible.

This is not natural. This is not easy. But this is the call. And in God’s sovereign design, it is precisely this impossible love—commanded, learned, and practiced—that becomes the most powerful witness to His reality. For when the world sees Christians loving as Christ loved, they encounter not merely human kindness but divine character made visible in human form.

The question Violet Evergarden spent a series discovering remains before us: What does love truly mean? The answer lies not in understanding alone but in obedience—the daily choice to love as we have been loved, to serve as we have been served, to forgive as we have been forgiven.

Community

Community matters a lot to God. Let me tell you why. Paul writes about unity and community so much, there must be some significance. Church isn’t a place you go. It’s a body. We don’t visit church just to have personal time with God. Jesus didn’t come just so we could have a personal relationship with Him. He is building a temple, a family, a dwelling place for God (Eph. 2:22). If you read Ephesians 2:19-20, we join ourselves with the saints, apostles, prophets, and Christ Himself.

Community is hard. Maybe we don’t like the people, the church, songs, classes, preacher, or teacher. Then we disconnect. It is hard because it is mean to tie people together that normally wouldn’t get a long (Gal. 3:28). There was Matthew the tax collector and Simon the Zealot. Paul was intelligent and well-educated, and Peter was a fisherman. The point is that we find people who have experienced Jesus lukewarm us. We learn how to love.

Personally the biggest way I have grown is through difficult relationships and difficult times. We gain spiritual growth, also learning to ask for help from friends. With spiritual growth comes greater joy, peace, patience, hope, and life.

Think on this. When we keep things surface level we are robbing the body of Christ of mature believers. We cannot avoid the difficulties of community. We must learn to mature. Here are some challenges:

Challenge One: Pray for opportunities to connect with people at church or anywhere, workplace or neighborhood, that might be isolated.
Challenge Two: Invite the new person in church for coffee or food, or just write them an encouraging card. Connect with them in some way. Don’t fly see that person as a tool for the church. While we are tools and have a purpose, we are all human.

Think of the example in Mark 2:3-5. Four friends are holding on to the corners of a mat with their paralyzed friend in it. They break open the roof and lower him down. Imagine the emotional state of these friends. They had to be in some distress for their friend. Where did that lead them? Directly to the feet of Jesus. We all face the same giant of life. Hold on to one another! Lean into community!

For those who feel lonely or isolated, take a step. Be a safe place for someone else. Reach out. Be a friend. Sometimes you have to go first.

Why did Jesus die on the cross? Some say He paid the price for our sins. God loved the world. He who knew no sin was made sin for us (2 Cor. 5:21). These are very true, but He also died so that we could be unified in community.

Second Chances

It’s a new year. For many it’s an opportunity at a new beginning – a fresh start, a second chance. I want to begin tonight with a lighthearted story about how a couple of second chances helped me.

When I was about 5 or 6 my older brother unintentionally tried to kill me, at least twice. The first time, we were outside playing, and we found these large bushes, pokeweed. These plants and the berries are poisonous, but we didn’t know that. I read that if you cook the leaves and berries properly, you can eat them. However, what you shouldn’t do, especially as a small child, is convince your younger brother to eat a handful of these berries. I googled for curiosity’s sake how many berries were dangerous, and it said that as few as 10 would make the average adult sick with all kinds of symptoms or some reports even said death. We went to the house and my mother knew exactly what I had done, the evidence was smeared all over my hands and my face. She called poison control, and they told her to give me this syrup that would make me sick to my stomach and I’d throw up the berries. Sure enough about 45 mins later – no more berries.

The second time was a little more serious. We had this storage building out back, it had a small lean-to shed on the back side. One of the sides was perfect for climbing on. Since we were expert climbers my brother had the idea – let’s get up on that roof so we can see everything better. We shimmied our way up the side and made it up onto the roof. If that had been the end of the story that would’ve been great…but wait, there’s more. My brother noticed something coming from the side of the building. He was referring to the electrical service, and the power lines that were coming off the pole and into the side of the storage building. “I wonder what happens if you touch those?” Listen guys I’m smart it just hadn’t kicked in yet. So yeah, I walked over and grabbed them and believe me when I say they grabbed me right back. I’ve told this story 100 times and everyone seems shocked and surprised, but I can assure you, not nearly as much I was!!

Second chances are given to us all the time and come in a variety of ways. They happen in our everyday lives, our careers, our marriages, relationships with our families our friends, and our relationship with God. God gives us second chances because he loves us, and he knows us and knows we need them.

God is a God of second chances. Throughout the Bible we study about people who have sinned or made mistakes, altered their courses in life but are still given a second chance by God.

1. For example, Jonah had fled from what God had commanded him to do yet was given a second opportunity to go to Nineveh and spread His word to the people. (Jonah 3:1-10).

2. David was a man after God’s own heart, yet he turned away from Him when he committed adultery with Bathsheba, had Uriah killed, then his son died because of the evil he had done (II Samuel 11 and 12) but still God loved him, and he was a great king.

3. Rahab was a prostitute. She didn’t live a wholesome life, but she changed the course of her life when she did something for good. She hid the spies in Jericho. When the city was destroyed, she was rewarded. Only she and her family were saved. (Joshua 6:22-23)

4. Paul once was a persecutor of Christians (Acts 8:1-3). He was converted into a Christian and baptized (Acts 9:18). He became one of the most influential missionaries, authors, and apostles of the first century.

5. Onesimus was once deemed useless. After being given a second chance Paul describes him as beloved servant, and brother to him. He was willing to do anything for him, even pay his debts. (Philemon 11-17)

The list could go on and on. The point is that God’s love, his mercy, and by His grace through faith, we can all be saved (Eph. 2: 4-8). God forgives our sins and gives us a fresh start. “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (I John 1:9) Every day we wake up is another chance to make changes. God’s steadfast love never ceases, his mercies never come to end, they are new every morning. (Lamentations 3:22-23)

As important as it is that we don’t forget about God giving us second chances, Let’s not forget we are to extend second chances to others. We all have family, friends, coworkers, even sometimes church family that we don’t always see eye to eye with. We don’t need to settle for division, we need to strive for unity. (1 Peter 3:8) As Jesus taught, we are to forgive others as we have been forgiven (Matthew 6:14-15). We are also encouraged to show kindness, love, and grace to others – just as God has shown us (Ephesians 4:32).

God’s second chances are such a blessing to us. We need them, he knows that we do. He’s not a mean God, “He doesn’t treat us as our sins deserve, or repay us according to our iniquities” (Psalms 103:10). He doesn’t want us to fail, but second chances aren’t meant to be free passes for us to keep returning to sin. (Romans 6:23) “ For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” He sent his son to die for us so that we could have as many chances as we need to make things right and grow closer to him before its too late.

Each new morning the sun rises, God is giving us a second chance. A chance to improve our lives, mend broken relationships, work on those New Year’s resolutions – that I hope we haven’t already broken. This year let’s not squander our second chances, but instead savor them. Let’s make the most of those opportunities to do good, to do things that glorify God, and that will help us walk closer to him. If 2023 just wasn’t the year for whatever reasons, then begin this year on the right foot. Let 2024 be your second chance.

From Hostility to Harmony:

Exploring the true meaning of “peace on earth”

During the holiday season, we often focus on the concept of peace. It’s an important theme in holiday music, especially in a world where conflict is all too common. Indeed, such songs oft remind us about Christ as the “Prince of Peace” and the promise of peace on earth (see Isaiah 9.6; Luke 2.8-14). However, Christ’s peace is more than just the absence of conflict. It is a complex concept with many facets deeply entwined with man’s greatest need: salvation from sin.

Christianity holds that real peace requires reconciliation with God through Christ. This true peace is the primary reason Christ put on the robes of flesh. Faith in Jesus Christ is the only way to achieve peace with God, according to Paul in Romans 5:1. As explained in Romans 5.8 and 5.10, this peace aids in the resolution of the inner conflict of guilt caused by sin. Humanity became estranged from God in the Garden of Eden, but we can return to divine harmony through Christ’s incarnation. Upon Christ’s birth, the angels declared to mankind that He was extending an olive branch to humanity. Note: “Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men” (Luke 2,14 KJV).

Beyond reconciling with God, Christ’s peace, once received, permeates our inner being. In Philippians 4.6-7, Paul describes this peace as “beyond all understanding,” a calm that guards our hearts and minds regardless of life’s ups and downs. This inner peace is more than just a temporary state of calm; it is a profound sense of stability and contentment that stems from a close relationship with God. To achieve this peace, we must engage in consistent prayer and gratitude and live according to Christ’s teachings and examples.

As we embody Christ’s teachings, our relationship with others will change. Jesus tells us to love our enemies (Matthew 5.43–48) and to live by the Golden Rule (Luke 6.31). These teachings challenge us to work for peace in our communities by actively showing love and empathy to others, not just tolerating them. His teachings remind us to live peaceably among men (Romans 12.18). Although the world is far from perfect, Christians can help to create a more peaceful society by living these principles. The message is clear: peace between men starts with each of us.

Christ is the source of the all-encompassing peace that Isaiah foretold, which the New Testament made manifest. It encompasses achieving a state of reconciliation with God, experiencing inner serenity, and fostering harmonious relationships within society. As followers of the Prince of Peace, let us embrace and share this multi-faceted peace this holiday season and beyond.

A Recipe For Successful Living

Concerning Money: Don’t judge a book by its cover (7). The wealthy face threats and dangers that the poor do not (8). Get rich quick schemes usually fail (11). People who are “too smart” to learn earn poverty and disgrace (18). A good name is better than wealth (22; cf. 22:1). The resources of the poor are often robbed by injustice (23).

Concerning Desire: You can tell a lot about a person by what he wants (2). Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life (12). A desire fulfilled is sweet to the soul, but to turn away from evil is an abomination to fools (19). Godliness with contentment is great gain (25; cf. 1 Tim. 6:7).

Concerning Laziness: The lazy person wants but never gets, but the hard worker gets by diligence (4).

Concerning Teachability: A scoffer ignores rebuke (1). The wise take advice, but strife follows the rebellious (10). Those who hate the word destroy themselves (13). Good teaching is a fountain of life helping us avoid deadly traps (14). Every prudent man acts with knowledge, but a fool flaunts his folly (16).

Concerning Speech: The difference between life and ruin is determined by how well you control your tongue (3; Jas. 3:2ff). A faithful messenger brings healing (17).

Concerning Character: The righteous hate falsehood (5). Righteousness paves a protected path (6). The light of the righteous rejoices (9). The righteous are rewarded with good, not disaster (21). The righteous have enough, but the wicked never do (25).

Concerning Common Sense: Good sense wins favor (15). Every prudent man acts with knowledge (16).

Concerning Friends: To be wise, walk with the wise (20).

Concerning Child Training: Spare the rod, spoil the child (24).

Proverbs are general truths, tried and found to be the rule rather than the exception. All of God’s Word serves as a guidepost for success in every way it can be measured. These proverbs are short, insightful, and inspired tidbits of helpful guidance, intended to help us know the way to strengthen our relationships and steward our resources. Many are the sad, foolish persons who ignored these instructions to their own hurt. Many who thought they came up with brilliant insights do not know that they are merely echoing the sounds of God’s wisdom.

Guarding Our Gaze

“I made a covenant with my eyes not to look with lust at a young woman.” (Job 31:1 NLT)

Job declares in Job 31:1 that he made a solemn promise, akin to a covenant, not to look lustfully upon a woman. This action shows his dedication to moral purity. This declaration emphasizes the power of the eyes as conduits for sin, particularly lustful sin, to enter the heart and mind. By making this covenant, Job expresses his determination to maintain a righteous and honorable character. He recognizes the potential harm lustful thoughts can cause and takes preventative measures to avoid it.

In many ways, our eyes are portals to our souls. Our souls can be sensitive to the images and scenes we expose them to, just as blue eyes are more sensitive to the sun’s bright rays due to their reduced melanin. I can attest to this because I have blue eyes and must wear sunglasses even when it’s cloudy.

In the same way that harmful UV rays can have long-term effects on sensitive eyes, certain visual stimuli, most notably pornography, can harm our minds and spirits if consumed excessively. The harm may not be immediately apparent, but just as UV exposure can cause eye problems, exposure to harmful visual content can affect our psyche and moral compass over time.

Consuming pornography can lead to negative consequences, including addiction, distorted perceptions of relationships, and desensitization to healthy sexual experiences. Awareness of our visual consumption and prioritizing content promoting positive mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being is critical.

Take, for example, Japan’s complex socio-cultural landscape. The country’s declining birth rates have been a source of concern, and many factors contribute to this trend, including economic challenges and shifting societal values. In this context, there has been a noticeable increase in the consumption of online pornography. While it is an oversimplification to blame declining birth rates solely on pornography, there is growing awareness of the mental and emotional consequences of excessive consumption. (See https://mainichi.jp/english/articles/20230808/p2a/00m/0na/025000c)

Job recognized the close relationship between sight and desire. He hoped to avoid lustful thoughts and desires by not allowing himself to gaze wantonly at a woman. This statement by Job reflects a more spiritual understanding of sin, which holds that even considering sin is wrong. His sentiments are consistent with Jesus’ teachings, who later clarified that lustful thinking is equivalent to adultery (see Matthew 5.27–28).

It is more important than ever to remember this covenant in today’s age of instant access to a plethora of images, including explicit content. We should set protective boundaries for our viewing habits, guarding our hearts and minds against content that can distort our understanding of love, commitment, and respect, just as one might wear sunglasses to protect sensitive eyes from damaging sunlight.

Job 31:1 emphasizes the importance of a virtuous inner life by stressing the need to guard our hearts and minds. It encourages people to proactively filter out negative influences and develop a genuine sense of integrity and righteousness. This verse serves as a reminder that true righteousness extends beyond outward appearances, necessitating constant scrutiny of our thoughts and intentions.

A Road Less Traveled

Carl Pollard

Romans 12:19 says, “Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, ‘Vengeance is mine, I will repay,’ says the Lord.” Getting our own revenge is something that is very easy to do. Our human emotions will naturally push us to take revenge. We want to get even with those who hurt us. We want to hurt those who hurt us. We want to insult them and avenge ourselves. Why? Because if we are honest, it feels good. It feels good to brake check the person that cut us off. It feels good to insult the person that spoke rudely to us. It feels good to take revenge.

The problem is if we want to build a relationship with the world and with the church, we must leave the avenging to God. We should expect the world to hurt us because it’s driven by sin. The Christian, however, shouldn’t be the same because they are led by God.

Revenge never ends well. It doesn’t cultivate relationships, it doesn’t build up our influence. It harms our influence, and it shows that we don’t truly trust that God will avenge us. As Christians, God is our avenger. We must be careful to not practice what God has rightfully claimed. By following this command, we open the door to a healthy relationship with those in the world, as well as our Christian family.

Romans 12:20 continues, “To the contrary (rather than take vengeance, CP), “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” Rather than give in to the desire to take revenge, we are to treat our enemies like a friend. Feed him if he is hungry (don’t take joy in their hunger),

If our enemy is thirsty, give them a drink (don’t taunt them and laugh in their face when they suffer). By doing this, we are acting like God’s chosen.

Self-control is the basis for many Christian principles. Letting God take vengeance takes a lot of self-control, but ultimately it leads to healthier relationships and opportunities to evangelize to a world that doesn’t know any better. Take the road less traveled, and God will bless us in the end!

Light Of The World (Season 2: Episode 17)–Neal Pollard

“Jesus First In My Relationships”

Hang Up And Talk

Wednesday’s Column: Third’s Words

Picture this scene: a group of friends all sitting in a circle and talking. However,
they are not talking to each other, they are talking to a completely different set of
friends. On top of that, they are communicating through text messaging and not through
verbal means. All of this makes me sound like an overly-dramatic old guy, right? I do not
mean this to be a “what’s wrong with our society?!” article. I want to encourage myself
and my peers to think about the consequences of these actions.
Let me clarify something before I continue: I text a lot, and I love it. It is a great
way to keep up with my friends, clarify a time and place for a meeting, etc… I do realize,
though, that there is a time and a place for everything. When you are meeting with your
friends and are there to socialize, that is an inappropriate time to text. It disconnects
yourself from your immediate relationships and erodes your ability to effectively
communicate on a personal level. I have seen this so many times. There are people
who are brutally shy, but get their number and you will never hear the end of the matter.
Texting is creating more socially-challenged people than anything else. We are
losing the ability to talk on a personal level with our age group and adults, too. Ironically,
while trying to keep contact with so many other friends not present, we are damaging
the relationships of those closest to us. No one likes to be cut off in the middle of a
conversation to watch someone answer a text. It shows that the person with whom you
are conversing is not worth your time and attention. What does that do when you are
texting that same person later on? Will you do the same thing to another friend while
trying to converse with that person? It is an endless and confusing cycle that will only
cause damage in the long run. The ability to communicate effectively is vital to
maintaining a meaningful and intimate relationship with others.
So, what do we do about it? Learn conversation etiquette. When someone is talking
to you, do not leave that conversation to start or continue a completely different one with
someone else. If you are around other friends or at an event, do not text. You are there
to enjoy the event and grow relationships with those in the immediate vicinity. When you
are in church, give your time to God. Your friends and Twitter can wait. Your life is
probably not one big emergency, so texting while talking is dangerous. Giving your full
and undivided attention to the one you talk to is going to create a good impression on
them. They will appreciate and respect you for giving them your polite attention. Use
common sense- do you want to be successful in your career? Do you want to grow your
friendships? Hang up and talk! You will not regret it! When your friends want to talk to
you, do not use your phone. Face-to-face communication is what grows a relationship,
not face-to-screen. You will reap the benefits of the respect of others, and I promise you,
your quality of life will improve greatly.
I really do not mean this to be a critical article, blasting the youth of today. I am a
youth, and that would not make sense. I have noticed a problem that seems small now,
but will escalate into something much more serious in the future. I am nowhere near
perfect in this matter, so I challenge myself and those of you in my age group to step up
and be different! Who knows? Maybe we can defy the negative stigma society has
placed on us (and not without reason, either) and change the world. It can all be done
with something as simple as hanging up to talk. (written 12-15-12, as a Freshman at F.H.U.)

5 Buckets For Life

Tuesday’s Column: Dale Mail

blond man with goatee smiling at camera with blazer on — **Dale Pollard**

We would all like to improve in many ways, but many of us are also well aware of the flaws we feel are holding us back. Those shortcomings tend to get in the way, slow us down, or even prevent us from achieving the quality of life that we desire. While there is plenty of room for improvement in my life, I have found that there is a simple way to clearly envision where I am currently, and also plan for where I would like to be in the future.

It’s true that our burdens often come from our blessings. For example, the blessing of having a car may result in the burden of expensive bills that follow a mechanical issue.

I believe that there are five major buckets of blessings that we all must give our time and attention to. They are the five categories that, if purposefully tended, help our lives to be wonderful. On the other hand, if neglected, we find ourselves in a head-spinning spiral of worry and anxiety.

These buckets are:

Faith
Mental maturity
Physical health
Relationships
Work

If one of those buckets isn’t filled with the proper content, the effects, I’m sure you’re aware, are negative. If these crucial categories are filled correctly, our quality of life will only improve.

God is the Creator of life itself which makes Him the leading authority on the subject. Consider how He can help you in each of the five areas listed here.

Faith

By denying self, our focus is diverted away from our negative self absorption. Putting God and others first can give you a better, fresh, and positive perspective.

Acts 20:35

Mental maturity

When we seek to understand our own minds and what makes us tick, we’ll be able to identify where these negative thoughts and reactions originate.

Philippians 4:8

Physical health

Poor health habits like fast-food diets, lack of physical exercise, and sleep deprivation only make dealing with stress all the more difficult. God designed your body to function properly when properly taken care of.

Luke 1:37

Every relationship, whether in marriage, friendship, family, coworkers, or the church, all have one thing in common—they were made by God. Thankfully, God wrote a book to help us understand who we are to be to each individual that make up those groups.

Romans 12:16

Work

God built us to work— He expects us to. Some choose to be lazy, and they suffer. Others choose to constantly work to the neglect of the four other areas mentioned. There must be a balance, and God knows that.

Psalm 128:2

While there’s a lot more to be said concerning these five categories, I hope this simplifies things and helps refocus on what really matters.

Hopefully, looking at life through His divine lens is a reminder of Who we should turn to for everything. He has given us the ultimate assurance— and He is willing to give us the ultimate assistance.

Twelve Ultimate People Skills

Tuesday’s Column: Dale Mail

Some people just seem to be born with great people skills. Perhaps their personality type just naturally draws others to them. While natural ability may give some a leg up, the great news is that anyone can learn to work well with others and you can develop better interpersonal skills. In fact, it’s really a biblical command!

The church is made up of all kinds of people and that being the case, we must all be in the people business. Thankfully, our Lord doesn’t leave us high and dry to try and figure these things out on our own. Dispersed throughout the Bible we find several sections of scripture that teach us how to communicate, empathize, and get along with others effectively. God’s interpersonal skills cannot be matched. As the Creator, He understands exactly how humans think and behave. Here are twelve insights on interpersonal skills sent to us from above.

1. Speak evil of no one (I Thess. 5:14)

2. A soft answer turns away wrath, but harsh words stir up anger(Proverbs 15:1)

3. The wise of heart is called perceptive, and pleasant speech increasespersuasiveness (Proverbs 16:21)

4. Be gentle and show courtesy to all people (Titus 3:2)

5. Do good to everyone (Gal. 6:10)

6. Bear one another’s burdens (Gal. 6:2)

7. As you wish that others would do to you, do so to them (Luke 6:31)

8. Discern your own thoughts, identify your intentions (Heb. 4:12)

9. Treat others like you would treat Jesus. How would you interact withHim? (Matthew 25:40)

10. Season your speech with grace. It’s the saviors All-Spice for everyrelationship building goal (Col. 4:5-6)

11. Praise God and be joyful, it attracts people (Psalm 100:1-5)

12.Be ready for every good work, speak evil of no one, avoid quarreling, begentle, show courtesy to all people (Titus 3:1-15)

Notice how many passages in the Bible command us to speak differently than everyone else? All of these insights can be simply summed up in just one sentence. Talk, walk, and live more like Jesus. He was perfect in every way and that includes how he interacted with others. Modeling ourselves after the Savior will not only improve our relationship skills with others, but also with Him.

Jesus also teaches us that no matter how gentle and loving we are, we’ll still make some people upset. That’s alright! As long as we’re acting like the Lord in all things.

A Simple Way To Simply Live Better

Tuesday’s Column: Dale Mail

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Dale Pollard

We would all like to improve in many ways, but many of us are also well aware of the flaws we feel are holding us back. Those shortcomings tend to get in the way, slow us down, or even prevent us from achieving the quality of life that we desire. While there is plenty of room for improvement in my life, I have found that there is a simple way to clearly envision where I am currently, and also plan for where I would like to be in the future.

It’s true that our burdens often come from our blessings. For example, the blessing of having a car may result in the burden of expensive bills that follow a mechanical issue.

I believe that there are five major buckets of blessings that we all must give our time and attention to. They are the five categories that if purposefully tended to, our lives can be wonderful. On the other hand, if neglected, we find ourselves in a head spinning spiral of worry and anxiety.

These buckets are:

Faith
Mental maturity
Physical health
Relationships
Work

If one of those buckets isn’t filled with the proper content, I’m sure you’re aware of the negative effects. If these crucial categories are filled correctly, our quality of life will only improve.

God is the Creator of life itself which makes Him the leading authority on the subject. Consider how He can help you in each of the five areas listed above.