Tag: family

“MY BROTHER SHOT ME!”

Friday’s Column: Brent’s Biblical Bytes

pollard

(Guest appearing for Brent, who had the first of several surgeries yesterday. He is in Erlanger Hospital and doctors are trying to get him stabilized and prepped for further procedures. PLEASE PRAY for him)

Neal Pollard

ORIGINALLY POSTED IN 2014

My sons have had some notable incidents involving guns, particularly the air-soft variety.  While these all are thankfully memories from the past, they continued a less than proud tradition from their father.  I have stories involving my BB gun, easter eggs set on a fence, and a custom van parked in the next yard, “old west shootouts” involving BB guns and all our neighborhood buddies (including the loss of at least one permanent tooth), and one other BB gun story that stands out in my mind more than any other.  It was shortly after the easter eggs incident, and my brother and I were playing cowboys and Indians on a warm Spring Sunday afternoon.  It had been a tough week for Brent, not yet school-aged. Just a few days before he was climbing on a stair rail, lost his grip, and fell head first onto the concrete.  He had recuperated enough from that to be outside with me.

Our shoutout rules were typical.  If you got shot, you had to fall down and play dead for 10 seconds. Then, you got back up and resumed action. Brent had a cool toy flintlock pistol. I had my trusty BB gun in hand. As I recall, Brent came running around the house right into my ambush.  I cried out, “Bang, bang, bang!” He fell to the ground and got up crying.  He was bleeding under his eye and had a frightening gash.  We both had great imaginations, but not that great!

Our parents heard the commotion and Brent told them, “Neal shot me!”  That was sufficient investigation, given that the concussion and the easter egg incident were both fresh on their minds.  Dad took my Daisy and in an incredible show of strength ended its functional use with a single application to his knee.  A spanking quickly followed.  Meanwhile, Mom had done triage on Brent enough to ascertain one additional fact.  I had only pretended to shoot him (the Daisy was not loaded) and Brent fell on the sight of that pistol and produced that gash.  Dad felt terrible and apologized to me before taking Brent to get stitches.  Of course, with my checkered past with my low-powered air gun, I was not very incensed.

Since I have “grown up,” I have drawn my own conclusions without having all the facts.  I have done this with my sons, and I have done it with my wife.  I have done this at times with my brothers and sisters in Christ.  I was sure I had all the facts and I reacted.  More than once, I’ve felt the regret of being hasty and premature.

When that brother or sister seems cold, distant, or unfriendly, they may simply be having a terrible day or dealing with an incredibly heavy burden.  When it seems that son or daughter has misbehaved, take the time to ascertain all the facts before reacting.  When  in a spousal spat, stave off assumptions, perceptions, and prejudices that may lead you to a hasty, false conclusion.

How many have fallen prey to “friendly fire” from loved ones? Be careful not to accidentally shoot first and ask questions later.  If you do, have the humility to admit your mistake and make it right!  If we can, we should avoid a “shoot out.” If we must, then we must fight fair!

 

A great pic of my favorite brother!

CLIMATE CHANGE

Neal Pollard

Perhaps you were aware that New York is hosting the United Nations Climate Summit, a gathering of a staggering 162 nations to talk about the environment and such specific issues as global warming.  While you may find the attendance impressive but the “facts” not so much, this event shows how important the topic of climate change is to some important people—presidents, heads of state, prime ministers, and the like.  The Associated Press fact-checked our president’s speech about efforts he is making and found it wanting in some areas, but there is no questioning that this issue is a high priority to him (Joby Warwic, The Washington Post, 9/24/14).

The big question often swirling around this controversial topic is, “How do you effect climate change?”  What works and what does not? What can be impacted and what is inevitable?  What can one person (or even one nation) do?

Our earth is not the only entity or sphere with a “climate.”  Inasmuch as the word relates to not only the weather, meaning also “the prevailing attitudes, standards, or environmental conditions of a group, period, or place” (“climate.” Dictionary.com Unabridged. Random House, Inc. 24 Sep. 2014. <Dictionary.com) and synonymous with “mood, atmosphere, spirit, tone, and temper” (ibid.), we should give attention to the other areas of life that involve a “climate.”  Our marriages, homes, and congregations each have a climate.  While we may enjoy certain things about each of these organizations, they also each inevitably stand in need of at least some changes.

What can we do to effect climate changes in those all-important areas?  The knee-jerk answer might be to tell the leaders what we think it takes to improve, to advise, criticize, and push.  That may seem like a good way to do things, but experience teaches that these are the least effective ways to promote change.  Do you know the best way?  Be the climate change you want to see!  Many of us find ourselves operating in all three arenas—spouses, parents or children, and church members.  That means each of us have at least one place to primarily concentrate, and that is on our individual role in those spheres.  Can you change your demeanor, attitude, level of effort and involvement, or assistance to the others in that group?

For all of us, it is easier to start with the other person(s) and size up what they need to do.  That’s worse than a hoax! That’s self-delusion.  Far better it is to apply this principle and “Test yourselves to see if you are in the faith; examine yourselves! Or do you not recognize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you-unless indeed you fail the test?” (2 Cor. 13:5, emph. mine). There’s the way to meaningful “climate change”!

 

Climate Change

 

 

Handling Offenses: Talking It Out

Neal Pollard

Would you believe that not everyone always agrees with what I teach and preach?  Of course, I may not always know—at least directly—that someone disagrees with my message.  Yet, my greatest respect is for that brother or sister who has a problem with me and tells me so!  When they address that to me in kindness and love, I am left with much greater admiration for them.  The same respect is reserved for those who handle those occasions when my words or behavior might come across hurtful with gentle directness. Perhaps it is because subtleties like pouting, passive aggression, silence, and withdrawal are easily missed by one so slow of wit as myself.  Perhaps it is because of the great disdain I, and most others, feel for sharp-tongued tactics like gossip and slander.  “Better is open rebuke than love that is concealed” (Pr. 27:5). This challenges me to follow such good examples and pursue active peace than passive aggression.

Talking out our problems is a sign of the church understanding the family aspect of its nature.  Happy is the physical family who finds functional ways to work through its problems, knowing that each member is imperfect and prone to do what offends.  The church is no different, though the blood that binds us does not course through our veins but poured forth from the cross of our Savior. Together, we comprise the “house of God” (1 Ti. 3:15).  What a precious relationship, meant to be treasured!

Talking out our problems is the best way to clear up misunderstandings and misperceptions.  It is possible to misjudge the heart, motives, words, and actions of others. Avoiding the problems or persons may work to avoid unpleasant conflict, but it leaves the problem to fester and grow worse.

Talking out our problems is the biblical pattern.  In Matthew 18:15-17, Jesus lays out the way to resolve “internal problems” within His body.  To choose a different route is to deviate from the way He has chosen.

Another great proverb says, “He who rebukes a man will afterward find more favor than he who flatters with the tongue” (Pr. 28:23).  May God help me to embrace that truth and pursue it, all while we “pursue the things which make for peace and the building up of one another” (Rom. 14:19). That does not mean avoiding the unpleasant or saying the difficult.  Some times tackling the unpleasant and difficult is our surest way to “make for peace…”

Precious Fellowship!

Neal Pollard

Kathy and I were privileged to speak in Price, Utah, at the Carbon Emery lectureship.  This program affords brethren in that state a chance to be challenged by a specific topic while enjoying each others’ company.  Never has the saying been true for us that we were the ones blessed for the time spent.  Those in attendance were kind and complimentary, but we felt as though we saw something of what first-century Christianity must have been like.  Brothers and sisters from about a half-dozen of the state’s total of no more than 17 churches (including two tiny house churches comprised of 1 family each and at least one congregation whose membership is 7 people) came together to consider faithfulness as well as evangelism against great odds.

The Christians in Utah understand great odds.  Mormonism has a stranglehold throughout much of the state, even holding a decided financial and social advantage.  So, typically, the Lord’s church, if it exists in a community and owns a building, meets in small, modest meeting houses that may feel grateful to have two dozen people present.  The distance between most congregations, with the exception of Salt Lake City, is vast.  Yet, though some traveled several hours to attend these lectures, they seemed to savor each moment together with fellow-Christians.  Observing these brethren as they ate and visited together, I had the distinct sense that they cherished the likemindedness and common bond that truly drew them closely together 

I am not saying that this depth of treasuring one another is missing in parts of this country where the church is numerically strong, but I wonder if being shunned and rejected by the majority of the community does not actually strengthen the tie that binds.  As an “outsider,” made to feel very much a part of their spiritual family in the course of less than 48 hours, I left with a renewed gratitude for the relationships at my disposal with God’s people.  

Attending worship is chiefly about praising and honoring God.  Perhaps there is a level of duty associated with coming to various church functions and activities.  Yet, our time together holds great potential as spiritual glue to bond us closer to each other.  Does God want that?  He must.  Jesus taught the disciples, “By this shall all men know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another” (John 13:35).

 

The Family That Distributes Cocaine Together…

Neal Pollard

Family togetherness can be a good thing, but, obviously, not always.  The Lerma family in Grand Junction, Colorado, were not playing Scrabble, hiking, or watching Disney Movies together.  They were working together to bring two pounds of cocaine into this “western slope” community about every ten days or so.  They were arrested on Sunday, coming back from Denver.   Federico, wife Dolores, 19-year-old daughter Blanca, and a 16-year-old son were all implicated in the drug ring.  Blanca even took her 7-month-old child along for the car rides to transport the drugs (via Grand Junction Sentinel, 1/31/12).

It is unfathomable, unwholesome, unthinkable.  How parents could not influence, but encourage, sinful behavior is baffling to consider!  What were they thinking?

Extreme as it is, this family’s example should cause us to pause and consider what we do as a family when we are together.  Are we ever encouraging our children to miss worship and other regular assembly times in order to pursue other activities?  Do we watch things with them on TV or at the movies that are spiritually harmful?  What do we find humorous and entertaining?  Is it ever that which is not spiritually lawful?

We would never contemplate taking our young ones on a drug run, but where are we taking them?  Where will where we take them cause them to eventually go?  Fathers, as the spiritual leaders of the family (cf. Eph. 5:22-23; 6:1ff), God makes us accountable for our wives and children.  Let us rally them around only “whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute” (cf. Phil. 4:8).