Exercise your right and privilege as a citizen of this nation to cast your vote. But, if you are convicted such is morally wrong, you would sin to violate your conscience (Rom. 14:23).
Pray (for wisdom, for peace, for God’s will, for the future of your family, for our leaders)(1 Tim. 2:1-2).
Study the many issues and thoughtfully examine each candidate’s position, making a choice that honors God more than it honors background, family, tradition, or friendships (Mat. 6:33; 10:37).
Remember that your decision is private and does not have to be shared with anyone else; if asked, you can always change the subject or respectfully decline to answer.
Take comfort in the truth that God is in control and elections do not thwart or overtake His will, but they are the result of His sovereign will (Rom. 13:1ff; Dan. 2:21; 4:17,25).
Do not make politics more important than relationships in the church, discerning that the diversity of the spiritual family includes new and weak Christians who might stumble as you assert your rights (Rom. 14:19; 1 Cor. 8:13; 9:19-22).
Make sure any public and/or social media comments on politics (including memes, sharing posts and articles, etc.) pass the salt and light tests (Mat. 5:13-16) and the truth in love test (Eph. 4:15; being both truthful and loving).
Place your devotion and allegiance to Christ above your politics, being more passionate to proclaim Him than your candidate of choice (Mat. 6:33).
Never forget that, as Christians, our citizenship is in heaven (Phil. 3:20); we are citizens of heaven trying to make our way through earth rather than citizens of earth trying to make our way to heaven (2 Pet. 2:11).
Take all campaign promises with a grain of salt, realizing candidates may say just about anything to get elected (carefully study their positions over time to get a better idea of where they stand).
If you experience anger (associated with politics) before, during, or after this election, do not sin in that anger (Eph. 4:26).
Watch your tongue (keyboard)(Jas. 3:2-12).
Exercise righteous judgment when seeking to insert political statements and sentiments into the public worship of our God.
Never let politics (whether we perceive winds as fair or foul) eclipse your view of your true identity, mission, or destiny (1 Pet. 2:9; Mat. 28:18-20; Col. 3:1-4). Elections always have consequences, but so do our actions (Gal. 6:7-8).
Pride is the downfall of our faith. So many spiritual battles could be won if we learned to swallow our pride and let humility take its place. The following is a list I compiled of what pride can lead to if left alone in our lives. Pride leads to…
Self-Sufficiency
Pride often leads us to rely on our own strength and understanding rather than seeking guidance from God. This self-sufficiency can create a barrier to faith, as it undermines belief in the need for support from our Father. Pride leads to…
Arrogance
When pride takes over, it can lead to arrogance, causing us to dismiss the teachings and wisdom of others, including spiritual leaders. This can create a disconnect from church and those we are called to follow. Pride can lead to…
Spiritual Blindness
Pride can blind us to our own flaws and shortcomings. This lack of self-awareness can hinder personal growth and the ability to seek forgiveness, which are essential components of faith. Pride can keep us from handling…
Conflict with Humility
God’s Word emphasizes the importance of humility. Pride stands in direct opposition to this virtue, making it difficult for us to embody the values that our God desires. Pride can lead to…
Isolation
Pride can lead to isolation from others, as it fosters a sense of superiority. This isolation can prevent us from engaging in worship and support, which is vital for reinforcing faith. Pride will cause…
Resistance to Change
Pride can make us resistant to the transformative aspects of faith, such as repentance and growth. This stagnation can lead to a crisis of faith, where we feel disconnected from our belief in God.
In essence, pride can create barriers that prevent us from fully engaging our faith, leading to a weakened spiritual relationship with God and those in His family.
The Bible clearly says:
Proverbs 16:18, “Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.”
James 4:6, “But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, ‘God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.'”
1 Peter 5:5, “Likewise, you who are younger, be subject to the elders. Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for ‘God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.'”
Proverbs 11:2, “When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with the humble is wisdom.”
Matthew 23:12, “Whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted.”
Galatians 6:3, “For if anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself.”
It is not a stretch to assume that you may be struggling to submit in the areas of life that God has asked of you. Let go of your pride, and faith will take its place.
Every normally functioning person is acutely aware of something wrong within them. Most people subconsciously or consciously understand that they’re horribly wrong somehow. Historically we’ve tried to fix this in different ways. The Pharisees and Sadducees are two archetypal mentalities among religious people — one extreme goes to the right and mandates excessive behavioral restrictions in an attempt to earn God’s favor through what is not far from asceticism. The other side says, “What’s the point in dwelling on it?” and mostly ignore the problem.
The problem with both groups is that they cannot control their bodies’ enslavement to sin. Paul warns against the legalist and traditionalist by saying, “These rules may seem to be wise as part of a made-up religion in which people pretend to be humble and punish their bodies. But they don’t help people stop doing the evil that the sinful self wants to do” (Col 2.23). He warns against those who show no self restraint when he said, “So do you think we should keep sinning so that God will give us more and more grace? Of course not!” (Rom 6.1).
Right now reality is enslaved to death. Death is still a thing because sin is still a thing. Death was not a part of earth’s reality until sin was. Sin introduced death to earth, and it hasn’t left us since. Sin is a proof that we will die — everyone carries that proof because everyone is going to die at some point.
We carry a different proof with us, though. We still have the proof of sin because we’re all still going to die (Hb 9.27). But we also carry proof of immortality. Paul makes it very clear in I Corinthians 15 that our death is no different from a seed being planted. It is planted as one thing, it comes back to life as something much more impressive. So death is imminent for each person because of sin, but our death brings us life! Just like sin is transcendent proof of imminent death, grace is transcendent proof of imminent immortality!
Godly men and women can voice their views and opinions in a healthy and helpful way by adopting some basic principles found within scripture. Even if some disagree with you (eventually they will!) everyone can leave encouraged if it’s approached appropriately.
First, they understand that the truth must be spoken in love (Ephesians 4.15). The faithful are able to tell the difference between matters of opinion and matters of salvation.
Second, they are eager to maintain a unity of spirit and a bond of peace (Ephesians 4.3-6). Godly members are not purposefully divisive or quick to start heated debates.
Third, the older Christians recognize the responsibility they have to share their wisdom with the younger generation and the godly youth respect the wisdom that is given from the older generation (Titus 2.2-12).
When the body of Christ is unified it’s also unstoppable. The church family that respects those God-given roles that we are all assigned will find that Bible classes, Biblical discussion, and relationships are enriched and strengthened. Knowledge is both shared and received in love and humility.
In Philippians 4, right before he confronts Euodia and Syntyche, Paul says, “My dear brothers and sisters, I love you and want to see you. You bring me joy and make me proud of you. Continue following the Lord as I have told you.”
Then verse two, “I strongly urge Euodia and I strongly urge Syntyche to live in harmony in the lord.” The word translated “urge” here is something called a petition verb. These were usually used for strong emphasis. There are two in the same sentence in 4.2, suggesting that Paul had been leading up to this the whole time. His examples of selflessness, humility, concern about others, willingness to sacrifice for the good of others, and his examples of other Christians who did what they were supposed to do, all led up to this straightforward conclusion. These two Christian women were evidently in an argument so severe that their salvation was in serious danger (2.12).
But he doesn’t just admonish these women and leave them in awkward silence. He asks a friend to help these women work out their issues because (4.3), “They worked hard with me in telling people the good news, together with Clement and others who worked with me. Their names are written in the book of life.” He wasn’t bullying these two women because of their issues — even as he corrected them, he made it clear that this was done out of genuine love and concern for their spiritual well-being. Because of their evangelistic mindset and excellent work ethic, their names were in God’s book of life.
Paul repeats 3.1 in 4.4 — “rejoice in the Lord always. I’ll say it again — rejoice.” These are also imperatives. How do we fix problems in our congregations? We focus on what we have in common. We serve God and we’re waiting impatiently for Jesus to come back. It’s a lot easier to resolve our differences when we’re united in our goals. We all want the same thing. We’re all equal in God’s eyes.
Philippians 4 has several more imperatives (5-9) — Make sure everyone sees that we’re gentle and kind. Don’t worry about anything. Ask God for everything you need and be content with what you have. Think about what is good and wholesome. Follow God’s teaching.
At the end of Philippians 4 is another familiar verse — “I can do anything with God’s help”. This verse is on a poster at our gym near the weight lifting area (as “Phillippians” ha), and many have this verse on a shirt or tattooed. While it’s certainly innocent and kinda funny, that’s not what Paul’s saying here. To avoid ending the letter on an unpleasant note, he spends time thanking Philippi for all of the ways they’ve helped him. He slipped in that he can be content with or without money, and he can be content with or without enough food. How? Because when it comes to working for God, he’ll make sure we have the strength we need to keep going.
Philippians 4.7 says, “Because you belong to Jesus, God’s peace will guard your hearts and minds. His peace is more profound than we’re capable of understanding.” No matter what happens to us, if we’re working for God we’ll be ok!
Conflict stinks. It’s unpleasant, uncomfortable, and far too easy to do poorly. Conflict is a delicate game balancing a desire to achieve a certain outcome without causing unnecessary escalation.
We live in a world where evil is alive and well. No one wants evil to exist, but it does because of sin. Both good and bad people sometimes do evil things. Those people should be held accountable and justice meted.Our country has had a consistent pattern of civil unrest after an injustice. We no longer know how to have healthy conflict.
Do you want to perpetuate hate? Use the actions of an evil person as an excuse to harm others, burn businesses, and contribute to civil unrest.
Do you want to stifle positive change? Share polarizing rhetoric. It will flawlessly push either side more firmly into their ways.
Do you want to keep a rift between entire groups of people? Play the blame game instead of holding those responsible accountable. And, when those responsible have been held accountable, continue to accuse others of complicity.
Every single person on the planet is guilty. Every single person on the planet is hopeless without God. Every person on the planet would die lost if not for Jesus and the forgiveness He offers. Not one person is perfect.
Do we want peace? Be good to all people (Galatians 6.10).
Do we want to eradicate prejudice? Unite within the family of God (Galatians 3.28). God created people, not factions.
Do we want to eliminate hatred? Be patient, kind, humble, not jealous, not self-centered, not easily provoked, not a grudge-holder, not someone who relishes in dysfunction, love truth, not retaliatory, and be full of hope (I Corinthians 13).
We must face the fact that the only way to have true stability, love, acceptance, and goodness is to go through God. Only when we look to an objective standard – one that cannot change simply because man’s threshold of tolerance has – will we have peace.
“Happy are the peacemakers, because they will be called children of God” (Matthew 5.9).
I think we’ve all been in the uncomfortable position of witnessing a couple loudly arguing in public. Whether this is at a restaurant, the store, a gas station, or any other public place, it’s downright uncomfortable. Some thoughts going through our minds might be, “Where’s their self-awareness?” or, “They might need to see someone about those issues,” or, “Why here?” We definitely would not want to spend too much time with anyone whose conflict resolution abilities are so classless. Conflict in a relationship is unavoidable and, if handled properly, is vital to the health of a relationship. Poorly managed conflict, though, is sure to destroy it!
Unfortunately, the world is seeing this more and more. Petty arguments between Christians over matters that have absolutely no bearing on our eternal destination are commonplace. Which Bible version is best? What will heaven be like? What should we wear to worship? Which college should one attend (“that college is liberal/conservative”)? Should we meet in a building or in homes? Should a Christian wear a head covering or not? Should a Christian celebrate certain holidays or not? Should a Christian carry a gun or not? Who should I vote for?
These are topics I have seen debated in the ugliest possible ways in public forums, whether live or over social media. There is nothing wrong with disagreement handled in a godly way (Matthew 18.15-20). In fact, it can help grow the church because it often brings members closer together. However, when the argument is both non-essential to salvation and is handled unbiblically, it destroys the church.
If I may be very blunt, this must stop. Our behavior is not only pushing the world away but generations of the church’s own members as well. When a Christian’s blocked list on social media is primarily members of his/her own spiritual family, we have reached concerning levels of dysfunction. I realize that this is not a pleasant article to read, but it is time for us to make a change.
It is time to stop writing or sharing articles on inflammatory or controversial topics that have no bearing on our salvation. Religious keyboard warriors and trolls need to quit. People of authority and position must stop using their voice to divide and discourage the bride of Christ over non-essential matters (some examples are listed in the second paragraph). We will be held accountable for our words and influence over the body of Christ at judgment.
When we inevitably find ourselves in disagreement with another Christian over a matter of opinion, we should either handle it privately and with patience and love, or let it go entirely (see Romans 14, I Corinthians 8, Matthew 18, Philippians 1.27, 2.1-5; 2.12, 2.14, 15; 3.17-19; 4.2). Being correct or winning an argument at the expense of peace is not worth losing our souls. This article is just as much for myself as it is for anyone reading this. It is for everyone.
Around 156,000 people die every day (that’s about 56,000,000 people per year) and most them die outside of Christ. Our time is limited and our influence precious. Our words are among the most powerful tools and weapons ever created. Let us use them well, as they could very well influence someone’s eternal destination – or our own.
Social media has done us no favors, with the temptation it presents to project happiness and perfection while masking the trials and challenges inevitable for such a long-term commitment as marriage is. Not only can we be guilty of misrepresenting our own relationship, but we can unwittingly put pressure on other couples who see these projections and increase dissatisfaction with their less than perfect and happy marriage. Of course, the answer to this is not to use forums like social media to air the sordid stains on our life’s laundry. But, there is a need for some reasoning and common sense that can assist us in building better marriages.
The University of Wyoming’s Family And Consumer Sciences department has an excellent study by Ben Silliman entitled, “Intimacy Means Conflict.” They begin with a profound, if provocative, statement, saying, “To love may not mean to fight, but it does mean to become close, to care a lot, and eventually to discover differences and disagreements. Those who love much have a better chance of conflict” (click here). This great study includes some common sense suggestions for working through the conflict:
Focus on needs, not solutions.
Brainstorm possible solutions.
Choose the best option.
Make a plan.
Implement the plan.
Seek feedback and evaluate both the process and the outcome (ibid.).
He does not overtly come from a biblical worldview. He is not exclusively focused on monogamous marriage relationships. But his counsel is sound and consistent with biblical principles.Cross-check each of his suggestions with Scriptural guidance:
Philippians 2:3-4
Ecclesiastes 4:9
1 Corinthians 10:23
Proverbs 16:3
Psalm 37:5
1 Peter 3:7; James 3:17
The passages represent that the Bible talks about all these methods and approaches, but it does not suggest that this is all the Bible has to say about these. I am convinced the devil would love nothing more than for married couples, beset by conflict and even repeatedly addressing the same issue or issues, to just give up on their marriages. Wouldn’t he love for us to be convinced that we’re the only ones struggling and our situations are hopeless? I know such thoughts are not of God, who urges us to see possibilities even through improbabilities because of His capabilities (Phil. 4:13).
It’s fatal to a marriage to ignore or be in denial about the things that produce conflict. And it’s foolish to believe that a marriage is doomed because conflict is present. There is no way to achieve closer relationships without negotiating the unavoidable differences between two individuals striving to be a united couple. May I encourage all of us who are married to redouble our commitment to working through conflict in order to reach closer, Christ-centered relationships.
“I.” The late Wendell Winkler once said that beneath most marital conflict is basic selfishness. “What about my needs?” “What have you done for me?” “I am not happy, fulfilled, etc.”The Bible warns of the destructive nature of selfishness (Luke 9:23; Eph. 4:22,24; Phil. 2:3; 2 Tim. 3:2)! One of the most frequent casualties of selfishness is marital happiness.
“You.” This is really the other side of the conflict coin that blows up progress and growth in relationships. If selfishness is blind to the needs and concerns of the other person, blame and deflection is the total denial of guilt or shared responsibility. “You don’t treat me right.” “Why don’t you pull your weight?” “You are not enough of ‘X’ or too much of ‘Y’!” Accusation, which puts one’s mate on the defensive, is a poor framework for resolving conflict. The very first couple played the blame game, to no avail and with no success.
“They.” A mirage is “something that appears real or possible but is not in fact so.” We usually think of a mirage in the desert, an optical illusion created by extreme conditions. How often do married couples in conflict see marital mirages? A couple is hurting, and as they look across the burning sand they see “perfect couples” and “perfect marriages.” We are not helping ourselves by comparing ourselves to what is not what it appears anyway (cf. 2 Cor. 10:12). Every marriage is comprised of flawed, sinful people who are constantly faced with overcoming. Whatever you think you see in other couples “is not in fact so.”
“God.” Now, hear me well. God is the answer to all conflict, if we consult Him. Yet, when we blame God or let conflict affect our faith, then our attitude toward God can become a major landmine preventing resolution. “God doesn’t care.” “God isn’t listening to my cries and prayers.” “Where is God when I need Him?” Trials are going to test our faith, but be careful not to give God credit for blame that rests upon us and our spouses.
The good news is that “I,” “you,” “they,” and “God” can all play a fruitful role in resolving conflict. When “I” am humble and honest and focus on my role and responsibility, good will result. When “you” are treasured, valued, and sincerely loved, things will start looking up. When “they” are reasonably treated as role-models and inspiration, it can be helpful. When “God” is totally trusted and obeyed, there is no insurmountable problem! I wish marriage had no saboteurs or hazards, but the best of them do. Let’s work to avoid triggering them, trusting that God’s pattern for everything, including marriage, gives us the best shot at success.
That has never worked, but it’s the way many people approach problems in marriage. And, it’s not only newlyweds. Some people live out a lifetime of handling conflict this way. The sad and dangerous thing is that such a methods of dealing with disagreements can destroy a marriage.
The point of contention arises, whether financial, emotional, spiritual, or physical. The couple argues. One, then the other personalize the issue, attack one another, and exhibit sinful anger. This can escalate to the point that hurting words or actions occur. Finally, exhaustion, hurt or anger stops the fight. Each returns to his or her corner. Each treats his or her wounds or maybe even plots the next move. Soon or later, guilt or remorse overcomes each of them. For either peace or relief, they eventually hit the “kiss and make up” stage. Life then goes on.
Perhaps it is at this juncture that the greatest damage occurs. What did not happen? The cause of the conflict wasn’t resolved. So, what happens? The disagreement about whatever is still a problem. Eventually, it will resurface. Then, the cycle will continue. There will be more FIGHTING, WOUNDING, WITHDRAWING, and REPENTING.
If this system is so agonizingly painful and counterproductive, why is it so commonly practiced? Pride, unwillingness to compromise, selfishness, or inflexibility all may factor in. How can we break this vicious cycle? The answer is easy to come up with, but it requires great discipline and patience to achieve. Consider.
Do not let conflict “sneak up on you.” Fatigue, stress, and illness can effect demeanor, even when we’re not conscious of it. Resolve not to react without careful consideration of what you will say or do.
Practice the golden rule. Never say or do anything you wouldn’t be happy to hear or receive (Mat. 7:12).
Give your mate due courtesy. The Mills Brothers sang, “You always hurt the one you love.” That may be the tendency, but we need to do better than that. Should you speak more harshly and impatiently to your mate than to your boss, employees, neighbors, friends, or attractive stranger? Don’t let familiarity breed contempt.
Swallow your pride. Do you feel the need to always be right, to always win? That’s not healthy or conducive to a happy marriage. Pride has damaged innumerable relationships (Prov. 16:18).
Act like Jesus. While He wasn’t married, He did interact with many people. Not all of those were friendly. Many were prone to be antagonistic. Jesus preached, “Blessed are the peacemakers” (Mat. 5:9). He also urged conflict resolution as a high priority (Mat. 5:24). Jesus lived a perfect life (1 Pet. 2:22), a life of example for the rest of us (1 Pet. 2:21).
None of us will ever be sin-free and perfect! Disagreements will continually pop up between husbands and wives, simple because no two individuals see everything alike. But, the vicious cycle of fighting, wounding, withdrawing, repenting, and repeating is hurting more marriages than we want to admit. It’s time to get off the roller coaster. Let’s start today!
A few years ago fifty miles southeast of Indianapolis in Andersonville, Indiana, two neighbors were found dead of gunshot wounds. The bizarre finding of police investigators is that they fatally shot each other. Indiana State Police Sargeant Noel Houze Jr. explained, “They just shot each other in an exchange of gunfire and both of them died of fatal gunshot wounds.” She was 29 and he was 64. They knew each other, but no one has come forward with any details about motives or explanations.
The imagination runs wild, though facts do not follow behind it. What makes two neighbors mad enough to draw guns and engage in a gun battle? What could be serious enough to escalate a dispute to this level (AP wire, 8/17/07)?
Conflict is an inevitable part of human relationships. Normally, the better we know someone the more likely disputes will be and the more heated or passionate they can become. The hope is that civility and courtesy can prevent hostility and homicide!
Luke records a dispute among the apostles, that “an argument started among them as to which of them might be the greatest” (Lk. 9:46). The same Greek word translated “argument” in that passage Jesus modifies with an adjective to teach that “…from within, out of the heart of men, proceed the evil thoughts, fornications, thefts, murders, adulteries…and defile the man” (Mk. 7:21,23b). Arndt and Gingrich, since this noun is used, suggest that the idea is stronger than merely bad thoughts, but “evil machinations” (186a). Thus, schemes and plots that begin in the heart, that are fed, nursed and stoked, can play out in all the ways Jesus enumerates in Mark seven.
From these two passages come a warning about two areas of life–motives and heart. A bad motive and evil heart open the door which allows conflict to escalate and grow. These conflicts may not end in shotgun blasts, but estrangement, divorce, isolation, division, or character assassination. In trying to deal a hurtful blow to our opponent, we may find ourselves mortally wounded, too. What a needed reminder to guard our hearts, watch our motives, and control ourselves!
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