Tag: dysfunction

Learning Through A Broken Family

Carl Pollard

My wife and I have been slowly working our way through the story of Jacob and Esau in Genesis 25–36, just the two of us, Bibles open, spending quality time in scripture. We’ve tried to read carefully, letting the text speak for itself without rushing to conclusions. What’s struck us most is how raw and real this family is, flawed people making painful choices, yet God’s bigger plan somehow keeps moving forward through the mess.

The tension between the brothers starts long before they ever speak a word. Even in the womb, they struggle (Genesis 25:22–23), and God tells Rebekah that two nations are inside her, with the older serving the younger. When we read Paul’s reflection on this in Romans 9, it hits home: God’s choice isn’t based on what we do or deserve, it’s His mercy, His call. That truth is a comfort when we’ve felt like our own family patterns or mistakes might derail everything. From the beginning, this story reminds us that God is sovereign, even over dysfunctional beginnings.

Then comes that heartbreaking moment in Genesis 25:29–34 when Esau trades his birthright for a bowl of stew. We’ve talked a lot about how the text doesn’t excuse Jacob’s opportunism, he’s calculating and manipulative, but it lingers on Esau’s choice: he “despised his birthright.” It wasn’t just hunger; it was a deeper disregard for what God had given him. My wife and I have had to ask ourselves hard questions: What do we treat as disposable when we’re tired, stressed, or chasing something immediate? We’ve seen how easy it is to let momentary frustration or desire eclipse what really matters eternally.

Genesis 27 is tough to read aloud. Jacob lies to his blind father, steals the blessing, and runs for his life. There’s no sugarcoating here, no heroic justification. The consequences are immediate and brutal: fear, exile, broken family ties. God’s promise to Jacob holds, but Jacob doesn’t escape the fallout of his sin. That’s been a sobering reminder for us: even when God chooses us, our choices still carry real pain, for ourselves and the people we love.

The turning point is Genesis 32. Jacob wrestles all night with God (or the angel), refuses to let go until he’s blessed, and walks away with both a new name, Israel, and a permanent limp. We’ve come back to that image again and again. Growth rarely comes without struggle; blessing often arrives through humility and dependence. That limp has became a proof that God can transform even the most stubborn parts of the heart.

And then there’s Esau in Genesis 33. Esau runs to meet his brother, throws his arms around him, kisses him, and weeps. After years of hurt, after Jacob’s betrayal, Esau chooses grace. Who in our lives are we still holding resentment toward? What would it look like to run toward reconciliation instead of away from it?

Studying this account together has reminded us that God works patiently through real struggles, through favoritism, deception, exile, and hard-won forgiveness. Growth usually comes slowly, often painfully, but He is faithful to shape us over time. The story of Jacob and Esau encourages us to hold our values loosely for the things of this world, to repent quickly when we’ve wronged others, and to trust God’s good purposes even in the fractured relationships we care about most. We’re grateful for these ancient brothers; they’ve become unexpected companions on our own journey toward humility, healing, and hope.

The Most Infamous Family In Scripture?

Neal Pollard

    Some names are synonymous with certain attributes and characteristics. Hatfield and McCoy are names associated with fighting and feuding. Hitler is a name associated with prejudice and evil. Even today, some names conjure definite thoughts and conclusions, from Trump to Biden, Shohei Ohtani to LeBron James. Giorgio Armani or Louis Vuitton are fashion. Frank Lloyd Wright is architecture.

    Even in Scripture, certain names draw immediate associations for the Bible student. One such name, which represents a series of rulers spanning about 150 years, is “Herod.” Perhaps you have thought that Herod is one man mentioned in the Bible. In fact, there are seven Herods mentioned in the Bible. Six of them were part of the Herodian Rulers. The first of these in Scripture is Herod I (the Great), king of Judea (Mat. 2:1ff; Luke 1:5). Next is his oldest son, Herod Archelaus, an ethnarch (ruler of a province or region) (Mat. 2:22).

    Herod the Great had other sons who ruled as subordinate princes or portions of a region. One was Herod Philip (Luke 3:1). Another was Herod Antipas (Luke 3:1,19; 13:31ff; 23:7ff). Herod’s grandson, Herod Agrippa I and King of Judea, is mentioned in Acts 12. Then, there was Herod Agrippa II, the great-grandson of Herod the Great and another tetrarch (Acts 25:13ff).

    These were not men of noble character. Herod the Great orchestrated and oversaw the genocide of Jewish baby boys at the time of Christ’s birth. Herod Antipas, an adulterer, had John the Baptist beheaded.

    Herod Agrippa I had the apostle James beheaded and soon thereafter God struck him dead for pompous pride. Herod Agrippa II hardened his heart to the gospel, which he heard passionately preached. Though they lived in both luxury and dysfunction, these men were all little boys in the care of nursemaids if not mothers. They were once innocent children, little babies, helpless, dependent, and impressionable. Spiritual opportunity was missed, and as a result much harm was done to the cause of Christ. Egregious sins were committed against humanity.

    Our family name, in part, is something we inherited (for good or ill). Yet, the greatest impact upon our family name is what we do with it. This applies to what we do with our own lives, but also what we do to bring up our children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord (Eph. 6:4). Let us protect the family name, and leave a legacy that blesses not just our relatives but impacts the church and the world for good!

Why Does God Allow Evil To Exist?

Wednesday’s Column: Third’s Words

The problem of evil is a very difficult issue for many Christians. Most people reading this article have seen someone lose their faith or justify atheism with this exact problem. Maybe some of you have struggled with it too — I did for a long time. 

Evil is dysfunction. What God made in the beginning was functional and good. At some point, forces outside of this earth rebelled against God. We don’t know when this happened, but it was before mankind sinned (Genesis 2.16-17, 3.4-5; Ezekiel 28), likely before humanity was even created. 

But evil exists on earth because we introduced it. We opened that pandora’s box because we were given the freedom to do so. God warned us not to, but we did it anyway. So why doesn’t he stop bad things from happening to good people? He often does. Hebrews 1.14 and Matthew 18.10 prove that he uses angels to help his family. Evil still exists because it allows us to choose our own destiny. 

We do have to remember, though, that satan runs the planet right now (II Corinthians 4.4). This is his time, before he’s tortured around the clock for eternity (Revelation 20.10). 

When we introduced dysfunction to earth, it had far-reaching consequences (Romans 8.15ff). Evil is short-lived and on borrowed time. Jesus defeated satan when he came back to life (Hebrews 2.14; Colossians 2.14-15). Evil affects us all, but it won’t last forever. Just because it still exists now does not mean that God doesn’t exist or doesn’t love us. His unlimited forgiveness should be enough to get us through this life so we can leave evil behind forever (II Corinthians 12.8-9). It’s hard to have that mindset, but it’s worth it. 

Gary Pollard

How Can I Be Happy?

Wednesday’s Column: Third’s Words

Short answer — that’s up to us. God never promised happiness for those of us who opt into the Christian lifestyle. By default, we have lots of enemies. We’re still on the same planet satan runs, so we have to deal with his garbage too. 

We find happiness through anticipation. We have to find excitement for the new life we’ll have, and hang onto that with everything in us. 

We find happiness through selflessness. Doing good things for other people is a tried-and-true way to be happy. Once we’re more focused on others than we are on ourselves, we’ll understand genuine happiness. 

We sometimes conflate happiness with euphoria. As Newton famously said, “What goes up must come down.” Euphoria is temporary and often accompanied by a rebound slump. But it’s a feeling of profound well-being that tends to be addictive, and is often above a natural baseline sense of well-being. Most people who want to be happy are really just chasing euphoria. We’re seeing now that it’s making everyone miserable. 

Happiness is not guaranteed, but we can experience it with the right mindset. Help people. Pray for your enemies. Love people who hate you. Designate at least a couple of minutes every  day to think about the next life. Look at the stars, planets, galaxies, and nebulae at night. You can’t help but be blown away by how intense and beautiful the universe is. This is God’s home (cf. Ps 115.16; Job 38.7; Deut 10.14; Neh 9.6; Ps 68.33; Mt 18.10), and the most tangible display of his power that we can experience with our senses (Rom 1.20). It puts our existence into perspective and reassures us that God actually is in control. 

This life isn’t about being happy — the next one will be nothing but happiness, because entropy and dysfunction will no longer exist (Rom 8.20-25). 

Gary Pollard

An Existential Crisis

Wednesday’s Column: Third’s Words

Christians are not immune to existential crisis. While this overwhelming feeling of meaninglessness is a trademark of younger people, older people often deal with it too. Young people may seek meaning, direction, and purpose for their lives as they look to the future. Older people might look to their past, wondering if their life’s work was a functional/worthy investment of their lifespan. We all have fundamental questions to work through. 

This series will explore some of those questions we have: 

Why was I created? What is my purpose? How can I be happy? What is true/real? Why does God allow evil to exist? What do we mean by “next life”? 

This week we’ll look at the first question. Not one person ever asked for consciousness or existence. Why were we brought into a dysfunctional world? Even though none of us requested existence, we exist — and we’re going somewhere after we die. None of us asked for that burden, either. 

Here are some of the commonly given answers: 

  1. We’re here for the glory of God. 
  2. God gave us the ability to choose our fate, whether to reject him or be obedient to his will. 

The problem with those statements is that they don’t actually answer the question, at least not adequately. The Bible answers those questions, and with a little effort we can find out why God created us. 

Why are we here? 

1. We’re here to interface with God’s reality. 

2. We exist, ultimately, to populate a perfect world. 

God created us in his image and likeness (Gen 1.26-27, 5.1-3, 9.6; Js 3.9; I Jn 3.1-3). This is emphatic in scripture — he made us in his image AND his likeness. Let’s put the Hebrew words sal-me and de-moot (image and likeness) in modern English. The one speaking in Genesis 1 is Logos, according to John 1. That’s Jesus. He made us to look just like him. He is the visible form of the invisible father, according to Colossians 1.15. 

Genesis 5.1 — When God created people, he made them look like himself. 

Genesis 5.3 — Adam had a son who looked just like himself, and he named him Seth. Same exact words used in 5.1. 

James 3.9 — Uses ομοιωσιν, which means in that context, “to look the same.” 

God made us self-aware, intelligent living entities to interface with the reality he created. This life is just a trial run. We exist, and that’s something we have to accept. We have a life, so what we do with it is up to us. 

That leads to the second reason we were created — to populate a perfect world. II Peter 3.13 says, “Based on what he promised us, we’re looking for a new sky and a new earth where only morally good people can live.” Because we messed up and introduced evil to this planet, it’s no longer a paradise (Rom 8.20-25). But that’s not natural. We weren’t originally created to coexist with dysfunction or entropy. 

We can thank Satan for most of the dysfunction we face today: 

  1. Ephesians 2.1-2 — Satan has control over natural functions of the planet. 
  2. I John 5.19 — Satan has control over political power on this planet. 
  3. Luke 4.6 — Satan has power over every population group on earth. 
  4. Ephesians 6.12 — Those dysfunctional powers aren’t based on earth.

The church is a combat unit. We aren’t fighting other people, we’re fighting an enemy that has far more power than we could ever dream of confronting. That’s what “spiritual warfare” means in Ephesians, for example. God is our ally, so we can never be destroyed for good. Satan may have control of the planet, but God has control over the universe. 

Our job is to make the best of our existence, ideally living by our Creator’s definition of functional. If we do, we get to live in a perfect world without any potential for dysfunction. In Matthew 19.28, Jesus describes it as a “return to the way things originally were” or “regeneration”. 

Why were we created? To interface with God’s reality in a limited capacity, and to populate a new earth after this earth’s time is up. 

Gary Pollard

Windburns

Saturday’s Column: Learning From Lehman

David Chang

When I was in high school, my main extracurricular activity was band—concert and marching. Concert band was a challenge from time to time, but it was marching band that really put everyone to the test. After all, there is a major physical aspect to the activity.

The summer between my sophomore and junior year was a particularly hot one in Oxford, MS. It was difficult. The hot sun was constantly beating down on us, and if the sun weren’t killing us the temperature was high enough to make our knees buckle. We were fatigued and mentally exhausted as the summer went on. 

One of those days was very windy and there were patches of clouds—a very welcome change. We didn’t think anything of it. Some of us didn’t even put on sunscreen that day because the sun wasn’t just constantly beating down on us. But on that day it wasn’t the sun nor the temperature that got us. It was something that we didn’t even think twice about. In fact, we thought it was a good thing. On that particular day many of the band got windburns after being outside for more than 6 hours. 

It shocked me just how quickly something that we thought was harmless or even helpful could be so damaging. Those strong and gusty wind that helped cool us off initially, when we were exposed to it for hours, turned out to be an even bigger problem than the sun itself.

——————

Whether it be 1 Peter 5:8, 1 Thessalonians 5:6-8, or the pastoral epistles, the New Testament is ripe with the idea of staying sober and vigilant. But why? Why is it so necessary for us to stay awake and be aware? Most of us are spiritually upright and good people, in the sense that we have good moral compasses and have a relatively heightened conscience. We do not go out and actively commit crimes, hurt others, or drown ourselves with vices.

But what does still plague all of us, no matter where we are in life, are the seemingly small and insignificant things we ignore. Things that we may not even bat an eye when we do and behaviors that we may even think is helpful—it’s those “little” sins that gnaw away at the connective parts that keep our armor of faith together. 

As a termite eats away at a house hundreds of thousands of times its mass causing permanent and significant damages, there are these little things that go under our radar that—give it enough time—can completely break down what we have built in terms of our faith.

To those of us who are not Christians yet, it may be that thing that you keep doing in your life that you know deep inside that causes dysfunction and problems but you write off because it’s not as “big” as some of the other bad stuff that people do.

To those of us who are Christians it may be something a bit more secretive, those hidden sins that we do not address—letting it fester and rot from the inside.

You see, the things that get most of us aren’t the outright terrible and unforgivable crimes. It’s the small lies that we tell. The little things we try to keep from God. The secret sin that eat away at our relationships and our integrity.

What are those things to you? What red flags are you ignoring in your life? What are you justifying? What are you constantly engaging in that you think is helping but instead is killing you? Give it enough time, and even a tiny trickle of water can split rocks. Even a small breeze can burn your skin with enough exposure. 

The reality of sin is all the same. It is something we must all be vigilant and aware to actively prevent and avoid. 

Kavachi

Wednesday’s Column: Third’s Words

Gary III

Gary Pollard

 
Scientists with National Geographic went near the Solomon Islands to study one of the most active underwater volcanos on earth. What they found in the hot, acidic waters of the volcano, surprisingly, was life – a couple species of sharks, stingray, and fish swimming among the plumes of ash. The risk for these fish is great, as Kavachi is known erupt frequently.
 
Churches are made up of people, and people are imperfect. No church is immune to the problem of evil, though we should certainly have a greater level of immunity to evil’s influence. When non-Christians interact with us, they may be unsure of what to expect. The world does not paint a pretty picture of our beliefs.
 
So, what will they find? They will ideally find a group of people who, despite the pervasive dysfunction of the world, display unconditional love, forgiveness, excellent character, patience, forgiveness, fairness, grace, resilience, and hope.
 
Christians should strive to pleasantly surprise the world! When they expect to find an environment that could never support healthy, loving, functional relationships, we should blow their minds with positive, life-changing interactions.
 
“Always keep your behavior excellent among the Gentiles, so that when they speak against you as evildoers, they might see your good deeds and glorify God on the day of visitation” (I Peter 2.12).
 
 

“Quit Yer Whinin'”

Wednesday’s Column: Third’s Words

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Gary, with his wife Chelsea

Gary Pollard

I think we’ve all been in the uncomfortable position of witnessing a couple loudly arguing in public. Whether this is at a restaurant, the store, a gas station, or any other public place, it’s downright uncomfortable. Some thoughts going through our minds might be, “Where’s their self-awareness?” or, “They might need to see someone about those issues,” or, “Why here?” We definitely would not want to spend too much time with anyone whose conflict resolution abilities are so classless. Conflict in a relationship is unavoidable and, if handled properly, is vital to the health of a relationship. Poorly managed conflict, though, is sure to destroy it! 

Unfortunately, the world is seeing this more and more. Petty arguments between Christians over matters that have absolutely no bearing on our eternal destination are commonplace. Which Bible version is best? What will heaven be like? What should we wear to worship? Which college should one attend (“that college is liberal/conservative”)? Should we meet in a building or in homes? Should a Christian wear a head covering or not? Should a Christian celebrate certain holidays or not? Should a Christian carry a gun or not? Who should I vote for? 

These are topics I have seen debated in the ugliest possible ways in public forums, whether live or over social media. There is nothing wrong with disagreement handled in a godly way (Matthew 18.15-20). In fact, it can help grow the church because it often brings members closer together. However, when the argument is both non-essential to salvation and is handled unbiblically, it destroys the church. 

If I may be very blunt, this must stop. Our behavior is not only pushing the world away but generations of the church’s own members as well. When a Christian’s blocked list on social media is primarily members of his/her own spiritual family, we have reached concerning levels of dysfunction. I realize that this is not a pleasant article to read, but it is time for us to make a change. 

It is time to stop writing or sharing articles on inflammatory or controversial topics that have no bearing on our salvation. Religious keyboard warriors and trolls need to quit. People of authority and position must stop using their voice to divide and discourage the bride of Christ over non-essential matters (some examples are listed in the second paragraph). We will be held accountable for our words and influence over the body of Christ at judgment. 

When we inevitably find ourselves in disagreement with another Christian over a matter of opinion, we should either handle it privately and with patience and love, or let it go entirely (see Romans 14, I Corinthians 8, Matthew 18, Philippians 1.27, 2.1-5; 2.12, 2.14, 15; 3.17-19; 4.2). Being correct or winning an argument at the expense of peace is not worth losing our souls. This article is just as much for myself as it is for anyone reading this. It is for everyone. 

Around 156,000 people die every day (that’s about 56,000,000 people per year) and most them die outside of Christ. Our time is limited and our influence precious. Our words are among the most powerful tools and weapons ever created. Let us use them well, as they could very well influence someone’s eternal destination – or our own.