MOM’S STEWARDSHIP OF CHILDREN

Neal Pollard
Feeding schedules, diaper changes, and runaway toddlers seem to consume a mother’s world for what seems like forever.  It may seem like an eternal duty, but those days very quickly pass.  What you learn in each new stage of your children’s development is that God gives you grace and strength to meet the challenges that accompany it.  Sleepless nights, drained energy, and unfinished housework discourage you.  Unappreciative, uncooperative children at times confront you.  Unsympathetic, clueless husbands may (though surely only rarely) irritate you.  But, you, ma’am, are doing important, yea, eternal work!

You hold more than a baby in your arms.  You lead more than a toddler or small child by the hand.  You mold and shape more than a child’s mind, social skills, and heart.  You, dear lady, are influencing this world and eternity.  As you rise to the challenges and succeed in keeping Christ in the center of your children’s hearts, you are partnering with God.  He can help you cope with the temporary trauma, the short-lived chagrin, and fleeting frustrations of motherhood.  God designed the home, and as such He designed it as a place where mother’s touch and influence would settle deep into the hearts and lives of those eternal souls you helped bring into existence.  You can dedicate them to God like Hannah did Samuel (1 Sam. 2:28).  You can sacrifice for them like Samson’s mother did for him (Jud. 13:13-14).  You can treasure the things about your children in your heart as Mary did about Jesus (Lk. 2:19).

In the meantime, while you are coping with the daily frustrations of motherhood, remember the words of Jan Dunlap:

Help me remember, when I feel it’s a chore,
The time will come when I’ll hold baby no more,
Asleep on my chest, the crib refused, the blanket,
the pacifier, gone unused.

What better place is there to lay baby’s head
Than against my heart, my arms her bed?

For children grow up and leave us behind
With only memories left to remind us
Of midnight walking and predawn rocking,
Of sweet, crying babies unable to sleep.

So, keep me patient and keep me awake
While I cradle this dear child,
And don’t let me begrudge another long night
With this baby, my darling, my joy, my delight.

The trials of motherhood are a relative moment.  The lessons you leave them last beyond a lifetime.  Thank you for willingly, lovingly, and righteously pursuing this important facet of God’s work on earth!
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A Story With Many Points

Neal Pollard

Several years ago, when preaching in Virginia, I spoke with a sweet, 69-year-old woman who had watched our TV program and wanted to speak to me. During the course of our visit, she told me a story I will never forget. Tearfully, she told me of her 14-year-old grandson, Matthew, who locked himself in his room, took a pistol, put it in his mouth, and pulled the trigger. He was rushed to MCV Hospital in Richmond. He survived, but the bullet was permanently lodged in his sinus cavity and he was in constant, relentless pain. The greatest pain, however, was not physical. It was emotional and spiritual. Matthew’s mother and father routinely flew to Las Vegas to gamble, dumping him off with anyone who would take him. They might win a few thousand dollars on some trips, but they invariably lost their winnings and then some. The father had told the son, not long before his suicide attempt, “I wish I’d never set eyes on you!” The boy had told his grandmother, “Nobody loves me.” He had also told her, “I want somebody to take me to church.” When she offered, he said, “I want my daddy to come and sit beside me.” This dear elderly woman lamented that he grandson’s parents never showed Matthew love and affection. In the wake of that, a young man with most of life before him, could not bear the thought of continuing one more day in such a topsy, turvy, loveless circumstance.

I felt a flood of emotions: Pity, for the boy; Anger, for the parents; Sympathy, for the grandmother. Upon reflection, there are several lessons to be learned from Matthew’s plight.

  • Bad decisions often carry awful consequences. Matthew learned this by the single squeeze of a trigger. If the parents weren’t past feeling, they might see the connection between their selfishness and his anguish. Galatians 6:7-8.
  • Sin destroys a proper sense of priorities. The parents were, in the grandmother’s estimation, greedy and selfish. They put themselves above their responsibility to their son. They made it clear they loved money (cf. 1 Tim. 6:10), and they made it clear they did not love their own boy (cf. Eph. 6:4).
  • Homes without love crumble. “The wicked are overthrown and are no more, but the house of the righteous will stand” (Prov. 12:7; cf. 14:11). How our homes need to be filled with love! Without it, how many children will feel like Matthew did?
  • Parents have a vital role to play in the spiritual development of their children. What did Matthew want? His daddy seated next to him “in church.” Was that too much to ask? He was hungry for spiritual guidance from his parents. What a challenge! How are we preparing our children in spiritual matters?

There are too many young Matthews, empty inside, unsupported, unloved, and unaided. What condition is our home in? Is sin in the way? We should be careful how we walk in front of our children (cf. Eph. 5:15). We want them to do more than value their physical life. We want them to pursue and gain eternal life! May God bless us in that needed pursuit.

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Adorable Children

Neal Pollard

We are blessed to have quite a few young children in our congregation. Little boys and little girls, with unexpected observations, expressive faces, and humorous behaviors, make sure there is not a dull moment when they are around. Inspired writers use terms like “inheritance” (Prov. 13:22) and “gift” (Psa. 127:3) to impress us with their value. Jesus demands imitation of them (Mat. 18:3). Parents get so proud of their children, displaying their cuteness in pictures on social media. While so many kids reflect the good looks of their parents, it’s not looks that most make children adorable.  What makes children adorable?

  • Obedience to parents
  • The practice of good manners, courtesy and respect for others
  • A pleasant demeanor and general good mood
  • Avoiding the pattern or habit of tantrums and ill-temper
  • The ability to speak and make eye contact when spoken to
  • Laughter that reflects a genuine joy of living
  • Engagement and interest in worship and Bible class
  • Serving especially the elderly—visiting them, making cards or little presents for them
  • Speaking respectfully to adults

The qualities above reflect an attractiveness of godly parenting and an appreciation for biblical principles of conduct that will make them adorable adults one day.  It reflects the “others before self” mentality Christ wants to see in God’s children (Phil. 2:1-4). It reflects the humility and service that causes greatness in His Kingdom (Mat. 20:25-28). It reflects the thoughtful consideration that ought to typify Christians (Col. 3:12; Rom. 15:1ff). It reflects the spiritual mindset necessary to be winsome, attractive ambassadors for Him (cf. 2 Cor. 5:20; Rom. 12:17ff; etc.). Sometimes, much greater emphasis is given to the style of their clothes than to the strength of their character. We cannot put fashion before faith, image over integrity, or sophistication above spirituality.

I want to thank so many parents who get this ideal and are striving toward it. No one’s children are perfect, just like none of their parents (or critical adults) are. But, parents who are trying to instill quality inner qualities in their children deserve highest honor! Keep rearing adorable children. You’ll have a lifetime to be grateful that you did.

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LESSONS I WANT MY SONS TO CARRY INTO ADULTHOOD

Neal Pollard

I preface this simply by saying that I have far too imperfectly modeled these lessons far too often, but I maintain their worthiness. The world is rooting for our children to fail and fall, but the Word is written to counteract that! Prayerfully consider the following:

–Character Is More Important Than Charm And Charisma
–Hard Work Is Its Own Reward
–Be Honorable In Every Relationship—The World Sees Too Little Of This
–Conduct Yourself As A Gentleman, No Matter What Society Preaches
–Have The Courage To Stand Up For What’s Right, Even If You Stand Alone
–Notice The “Little” People—Those Who Cannot Advance Or Help You
–Trust Divine Principles Over Cultural Practices…Every Time!
–Purity Of Heart Is Directly Connected To Cleanliness Of Life
–Do Not Leave Devotional Time Out Of Daily Living (There Is No Day You Don’t Need Him)
–Stewardship Is A Whole Life Concept
–Serve God Faithfully And Forever, Whatever Your Profession
–The Church Needs You Now—Procrastination Here Is The Devil’s Delight
–Stay Humble, Especially When You Succeed Or Do Something Well
–Volunteer For Jobs No One Likes To Do
–Who You Marry Has The Most Impact On Where You Are Going—Choose Wisely!
–“Count Your Blessings, Not Your Crosses” (A.U.)—There’s Equal Opportunity To Do Either.
–Love And Respect The Church’s And Society’s Eldest Members
–Realize There Are People Watching You When You Least Expect It—Shine!
–There Will Always Be Those Who Are Led By Your Actions—Be Wise!
–Happiness Is Self-Determined, Not Externally-Driven
–Appreciate The Gravity, Value And Importance Of Your Word
–Never Outlive Your Love For Christ
–Don’t Allow Your Negligence To Cost Other People (Whether Time, Money, Trust, Or Good Will)
–Do Not Let The World Rob You Of The Profundity Of Your Purpose
–Honor The Name You’ve Been Given By Living A Godly Life
–A Moment’s Passion And Indiscretion Can Destroy A Lifetime Of Godly Living
–“Never Do Anything In Your Mate’s Absence You Wouldn’t Do In Her Presence” (Wendell Winkler)
–Appreciate The Preciousness Of Life Every Day
–Make Spreading Cheer A Conscious Priority (And Involve Your Face).
–Choose Compassion Over Cruelty
–Keep A Song On Your Lips
–Lead As Many People To Heaven As You Can And Know That Your Life Will Open More Doors Than Your Lips.
–Integrity Trumps Image… Every Time!

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Psalm 127:3

MY FAMILY TREE

Neal Pollard

Years ago, for a school project, I was asked to trace my ancestry and make a family tree. In the process I learned some things I did not know about my heritage. Some of that made me proud, and some of it did not. I also learned that a family tree is always living and growing. Now that I am a husband and father, I appreciate that my children (and, one day, grandchildren) will be affected by how I lead my family.

You are nourishing your family tree, too. How are you caring for it? That is called a legacy. It will affect those who live after you are gone. Consider some things every family tree has, and ask yourself what kind of tree you are growing in your home.

Your family tree has…

  • ROOTS. Something is central to your home. It is what drives and motivates you. It is where you have your primary interest and investment, measured in dollars, energy, and time. For your family tree to survive, you must be “firmly rooted and…built up in [Christ]” (Col. 2:7).
  • BRANCHES. Your home is an influence on the larger community surrounding you. Every facet of your life, your job, your friends, the church you attend, and your community, is impressed, positively and negatively, by your home. You have a reputation. You are seen. As your family branches out into the world, what impact is it making for Christ? Remember, “If the root be holy, the branches are too” (Rom. 11:16).
  • NUTRIENTS. God made the tree to eat and drink, and by such it lives. If the nutrients are cut off (via drought or disease or damage), the tree dies. Likewise, our family tree must be nourished properly to keep each member of it alive. We must keep “constantly nourished on the words of faith and of the sound doctrine” (1 Tim. 4:6).
  • FRUIT. It may be acorns, cones, blossoms, or edible fruit, but trees bear fruit. When a fruit-bearing tree ceases production, it is a sign of trouble. At best, such a tree has lost its value. Our family tree will be known by its fruits (cf. Mat. 7:16,20). Failing to bear good fruit (Gal. 5:22-23) or bearing bad fruit (Luke 6:43) is condemned by God.
  • PREDATORS. “Dutch Elm Disease,” beetles, ants, and termites can all prematurely end the life of a tree. Sometimes, what kills the tree cannot be readily seen. Trees can be eaten from the inside out, and by the time the damage is visible it is too late. How like the damage predators do to the home! Three are so many! Tragically, sometimes the damage comes from within—what we do or allow to happen in the family. Satan is the predator of the home, but he works through human agency.
  • LEAVES. There are evergreens, conifers, and pines, but hardwoods are the most fascinating to me. I like their annual cycle. In Spring, the trees are in bloom and put on their leaves. They flourish in Summer. In Autumn, they are vibrant in color and beautiful. In Winter, they die and leave the tree. Parents, think of your children as those “leaves.” From birth, they bud and grow. Hopefully, in the teen years after trial and tribulation they begin to absorb and emulate the good principles we have taught. It can be a beautiful time. Then comes the time for them to leave. Remember that they are going to leave home some day. Make sure they leave spiritually and eternally prepared.