4 Steps To Overcoming Peer Pressure

4 Steps To Overcoming Peer Pressure

Thursday’s Column: Carlnormous Comments

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Carl Pollard
 
Peer pressure is a topic that is usually directed toward young people. While this is something that is possibly more temping to teens and young people, adults will struggle with it as well.
 
Since I was in my teens just two years ago, I can still clearly remember all the times I was pressured into doing something dumb. I sometimes hung with a rowdy crowd (my brothers), and ended up paying the consequences. Fishing on a golf course at night is apparently illegal, and that can get the police called on you. Shooting at geese with a slingshot is apparently animal harassment, and park rangers won’t exactly be happy. Stringing a dead beaver over a walking trail is illegal and you can be fined up to 10,000 dollars. These are just a few random examples or hypothetical scenarios…and definitely not something I did personally.
 
Peer pressure is a problem we will face. Whether we are in high school, college, or at work. Our peers won’t always make the right choices, but the question is whether or not we will participate? Notice with me four steps that will help us overcome peer pressure:
 

Develop A New Mindset.

1 Peter 4:1 says, “Since therefore Christ suffered in the flesh, arm yourselves with the same way of thinking, for whoever has suffered in the flesh has ceased from sin.” Think like Christ. Do what’s right, even if it leads to suffering. If we say no to peer pressure we won’t be popular, we won’t feel like we fit in, we won’t feel accepted and we may even lose a few friends. But since we are in Christ we focus on what’s truly important. Christ focused on the bigger picture. Instead of listening to the mindset of the day, He stuck to his purpose.
 
Peer pressure will tempt us to desert Christ. We don’t join in because we have developed a new mindset. We are reborn and no longer live like the world (Rom. 6:1-2; Gal. 5:24).
 

Make Decisions Based On This New Mindset.

1 Peter 4:2 says, “so as to live for the rest of the time in the flesh no longer for human passions but for the will of God.” We have ceased from sin so that we can make the most of our time on earth. No longer living for ourselves or for human passions, but for the will of God.
 
How can we avoid the sin of peer pressure? Make decisions based on our new mindset. We have established our reasoning. We now have a higher calling, and now our decisions are based on this new mindset in Christ.
 

Love The Sinner, Hate the Sin.

The mood always seems to feel a little uncomfortable when we say no to participating in sin. Our friends may get upset or call us a wet blanket, or even try and say we are acting “holier than thou.” This is one of the biggest obstacles we will face as Christians.
 
When we say no we must keep 1 Peter 4:8-9 in mind: “Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. Show hospitality to one another without grumbling.” How can we overcome peer pressure? Love the sinner, but hate the sin. We love the sinner because we want them to receive the same forgiveness and salvation we received. We hate the sin because it’s ugly and opposed to God and our new way of living.

Build Positive Relationships.

Find likeminded people that won’t tempt you to join in with sin. 1 Peter 4:10-11 says, “As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace: 11 whoever speaks, as one who speaks oracles of God; whoever serves, as one who serves by the strength that God supplies—in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ. To him belong glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen.”
 
What do we use our gifts from God for? If you’re good at working on cars or lawn mowers are you using it for good? Are you good at cooking? Use it for the glory of God. If you’re a funny person, use it for the glory of God. Each one of us must use what God has given us to build positive and strong relationships, ones that are built on support and encouragement.
 
How can I overcome peer pressure? Build relationships that are centered around Christ. Around His church. Around His plan. Around His people. Build relationships filled with a mutual love and zeal for God.
I Dare You To Jump Off This Wall

I Dare You To Jump Off This Wall

Thursday’s Column: Captain’s Blog

carl pic

Carl Pollard

Peer pressure was a topic that I was taught a lot as a teen. Many have the false assumption that only teens struggle with peer pressure. While it is true that as a young person it is easier to be persuaded, adults and mature Christians can fall for peer pressure just as easily.
While there are many personal illustrations I could use of times that I fell for peer pressure and did something dumb, I’m not going to use them because I like my job at Hebron. But, there is one that I will tell because it’s a great illustration on the power of peer pressure.
Back when I was 12 years old (I was young, perfect and innocent) I fell for peer pressure and I’ll never forget the life lesson that I was taught. At the Bear Valley church there was a wall outside that the teens would sit on and hang out. This wall was about 10 feet tall and at the bottom was a bunch of rocks and bushes. I remember watching all the teen guys jump off the wall and land in the bushes below. I wanted to jump off so bad, but I knew I’d get in huge trouble if I did. All the cool kids would go out after church and see who could do the coolest jump off this wall. I remember one of the guys saying, “This is how you prove you’re a man.” And so of course I had to prove I was a man. I didn’t want them to think that I was a chicken. So one evening after church I went and sat on top of the wall and got ready to jump. Everyone was watching and I knew there was no turning back. I sat on the wall for a good 15 minutes trying to build up the courage to jump off what seemed like a 30 foot drop. I finally took the plunge and jumped…and fell like a sack of rocks onto the drainage pipe below and broke it clean in half. A feeling of dread washed over me when I realized what I had done. One of the deacon’s kids ran and told his dad…who told the elders…who told my parents…who told me that I was grounded from going outside after church for the foreseeable future. Every Sunday and Wednesday I was forced to stay with my parents in the auditorium until we left. I learned a very valuable lesson that day. Peer pressure is dumb. And the only thing that you gain from it is trouble.
Being pressured to jump off a wall probably won’t ever happen to you, but there’s a choice that each one of us will have to make at some point in our lives. That’s the choice of who we will call our friends and companions. This choice will shape who we are, how we live, and where we will go in the next life. The foundation for this subject is built by looking at a comparison between the righteous and the wicked. We can build our character by choosing righteous company, but what does righteousness look like?
In Psalm 1, we are given this comparison. “Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor stands in the path of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers” (1). There is a progression of temptation laid out here: blessed is the man who…Walks not in the counsel of the ungodly (the one who sees the sin and keeps walking) Nor Stands in the path of sinners (sees the sin and stops to watch out of curiosity) Nor sits in the seat of the scoffers (sees the sin and sits with them to join in).
“But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night” (2).  Rather than walking next to sin, standing with evil, and sitting with evil company, his delight is in God’s Word and not in the sin of his fellow man. This man is blessed because he chooses to mediate on the Law of the Lord rather than dwelling with those in sin.
“He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither. In all that he does, he prospers” (3). Once the righteous man has chosen God’s Word over sin, we are given the result of this choice. He’s healthy. He produces fruit. He’s well nourished. He’s blessed in what he sets out to accomplish. This happens as a result of choosing godliness over evil company.
“The wicked are not so, but are like chaff that the wind drives away” (4).  Those who choose evil deeds over God’s Word are worthless. They are described as chaff. Chaff is the husk on the outside of a wheat kernel. You can’t eat it, and it basically doesn’t do anything. You have to take it off before you can make anything with the wheat. How they would do this is they would throw it up in the air and it would seperate from the kernel and the wind would blow it away while the wheat would fall back down.
The wicked are useless to God. When it comes to choosing friends, we have just two choices. The righteous (that are blessed in what they do) or the wicked (the ones that are useless to God). The choice should be an easy one for us, and yet Christians will fail to make the right decision.
A piece of advice: Don’t jump off the wall. Choose to hang with those that are concerned for your well being. Choose the righteous friend that will look out for your soul.
jumper
What Keeps People From Salvation?

What Keeps People From Salvation?

Neal Pollard

  • Ignorance: They have not learned how to be saved
  • Fear: They know the potential cost of being saved
  • Pride: They do not want to admit they are not saved
  • Loyalty: They fear that they will be tacitly condemning those they care for if they are saved
  • Comfort: They do not want to do what it takes to be saved
  • Emotion: They feel they are saved
  • Guilt: They do not believe they can be saved
  • Prejudice: They cannot see the necessity of following what certain scriptures say they must do to be saved
  • Sin: They enjoy something(s) too much to surrender in order to be saved
  • Self: They want to follow their own terms to be saved
  • Blindness: They cannot see through their religious traditions and doctrines in order to be saved
  • Responsibilities: They are too busy with life to be saved

So many more excuses might be given by someone who refuses to do what God says to do in order to be saved, but whatever excuse is given overlooks the fact that God allowed no excuse to keep Him from sending His Son, that Christ allowed no excuse to keep Him from going to the cross, that the Holy Spirit allowed no excuse to keep Him from revealing to us through the Bible how to be saved, that the apostles and early Christians allowed no excuse to keep them from sharing and doing God’s will for salvation (even at the cost of their lives), and that so many throughout time have not allowed these same excuses to keep them from obeying the gospel to be saved. Salvation is so important, eternity is so long, the soul is so precious, sin is so destructive, the devil is so ravenous, and the world is so wrong that we must remove every barrier that might stand in our way. If we were to write down our reason for not being saved and keep it until the day of judgment, how valid and reasonable would it sound as we conveyed it to Christ? If we would not want to tell Him then, let’s not let it keep us from Him now.  “Behold, now is the acceptable time, behold, now is the day of salvation” (2 Cor. 6:2b).

South Fork Church of Christ baptistry mural looking in from the

A VISIT TO A TEEN’S RELIGIOUS WORLD

A VISIT TO A TEEN’S RELIGIOUS WORLD

Neal Pollard

I love the World War II generation and the enormous impact they have had on our nation!  Perhaps no generation has had a greater challenge since them than the one presently coming to maturity.  Last night, at Teens In The Word, we asked the teens to describe the religious philosophy of their peers as they interact with them at school, their jobs, and their extracurricular activities.  It was heartening to see and hear our teens’ conviction, knowledge, and heart, but disheartening to discuss the fruit of a couple of generations of our culture’s social experiment to reprogram the thinking of people, especially this burgeoning generation.

Our teens attend schools in Douglas, Jefferson, and Denver Counties, go to large High Schools, charter schools, private schools, and homeschools. Despite these diversities, what they encounter is remarkably similar.  It might surprise you that many of their peers believe in a Higher Power and would consider themselves spiritual. More than anywhere else, these peers attend community churches.  Whatever the church growth gurus and experts claim, the teens that go to these churches tell our teens something very different.  Their religious experience is heavily dependent upon entertainment, doing fun things with a party atmosphere, not motivated or influenced by much biblical teaching, segregated from adults, hard-rocking music, dancing, and overall a very tactile experience.  What impact does it have on “faith”?  If speaking in terms of growing closer to God and learning more about Him, not that much. The prevailing worldview of many of our teens’ friends is “what’s right for me may not be right for you,” that God and the devil, heaven and hell are mindsets more than realities (really just your conscience inside of you), and that essentially the only or worst sins, the “objective wrongs,” are offending others and judging others.  When our teens seek to assert objective truth from scripture, they sometimes encounter scorn or rejection. While our teens know a varying degree of peers whose faith and beliefs are more concrete and committed, perhaps the most frequently observed comment last night was that many of their peers “believe in God but not the Bible or Christ.”  They see the Bible as a book of myths or fairytales and not the revealer of truth or a standard of authority.

As we closed our class last night, I was left awestruck.  Our teens are among my most cherished heroes.  They are on the frontline of faith, battling in a world more opposed to truth than that of any generation now living which preceded them.  We were struck with more than admiration, though.  We felt determination, the need to redouble our efforts to establish and defend the trustworthiness and integrity of the Bible, the existence of God, and from that the authoritative nature of Scripture.  Not only will this bolster the faith of our teens, but it will help them in dialoging with those among their peers possessing good and honest hearts (cf. Lk. 8:15).

Here are four things you can do right now for our teens.  (1) Pray for them. (2) Live Christ without hypocrisy before them. (3) Actively encourage them. (4) Help equip them.  Look for heroes where you will.  I have found mine!

Our teens recently feeding the homeless (photo credit: Lexi Hoagland)