Tag: love

HOW DO WE TREAT ONE ANOTHER?

Neal Pollard

As we live in a culture of disrespect, Christians have an added responsibility to give thought to how we speak to one another.  Civility, courtesy, and manners were once staple subjects taught in every home, but those days are increasingly relegated to the yearbooks of nostalgia.  Yet, it shouldn’t be so with God’s people.  Especially if we, as we claim in our songs, sermons, and speech, love one another, that will be reflected in speaking kind words even when we feel impatience, disagreement, or aggravation toward another. This is difficult, but it is a mark of our bearing the fruit of the Spirit.

In the last several chapters of Romans, Paul reinforces this idea of loving, kind treatment of one another.  He urges the church to “be devoted to one another in brotherly love” (12:10), “give preference to one another” (12:10), “be of the same mind toward one another” (12:16), “love one another” (13:8), “let us not judge one another” (14:13), “build up one another” (14:19), “be of the same mind with one another” (15:5), “accept one another” (15:7), “able to admonish one another” (15:14, but notice that this comes from those who are “full of goodness”), and “greet one another with a holy kiss” (16:16).

So how do we lift that off the page and put it into practice?  Think about any and every interaction we have with other members of the Lord’s body.  Give forethought to how you answer them and speak to them.  Apply this to our leaders, our peers, and those who are led by our example. Do your words and attitudes help create the kind of atmosphere Paul repeatedly calls for, or do they undermine it and make it difficult.  It is so easy to allow pride, selfishness, lack of self-discernment, or the like to erode the kindness from our demeanor.  But now more than ever, we need to bear this distinctive mark in a world who has seemingly lost sight of it.  When we treat each other the way Paul encourages, we will not only build each other up but we will draw the world to the Lord.  It is the mark of true discipleship (John 13:34-35).  In our busy, hectic, stressful lives, may we redouble our efforts to be ever be edifiers and never be nullifiers!

Don’t Preach!

Neal Pollard

What an odd thing to say, especially when our Lord (Mark 16:15; Acts 10:42) and Paul (2 Tim. 4:2) say to preach!  I’m not saying don’t preach at all, but there’s too much “preaching” that is not really preaching.  We must not preach that way.

  • Don’t preach self!  No matter how funny, folksy, charismatic, creative, good-looking, glamorous, smart, or suave I might be, it’s not about me.  I am no Savior. I am a sinner proclaiming the Savior.
  • Don’t preach doubt!  People already wrestle mightily with doubts.  Don’t reinforce them.  Clear away such cobwebs with the definitive, hopeful, concrete message of truth.
  • Don’t preach man-made doctrine!  It’s a foundation of sand.  It will land countless people on the Lord’s left hand at the day of reckoning.  If a doctrine is at odds with the gospel, keep it from the message.
  • Don’t preach unprepared!  Every hearer deserves a well-planned, well-thought-out, and well-practiced sermon.  They are giving their time.  Make sure you have put in yours.
  • Don’t preach in a pandering way!  Audience analysis is helpful, but don’t “play to the crowd.” It seems insincere and disingenuous. Don’t carry the standard down to the people. Call the people up to the standard.
  • Don’t preach philosophy!  Philosophers prefer questions without answers more than answering questions.  “What ifs” may be fun with sports teams and political elections, but they too often tear down rather than build up faith.
  • Don’t preach arrogantly!  The preacher, George Bailey, would often say, “A man wrapped up in himself makes a mighty small package.”  How many times have people echoed the sentiments of the Greeks, “Sir, we want to see Jesus!” (cf. John 12:21).
  • Don’t preach timidly!  Should we apologize for the Lord’s message?  We never want to be harsh, antagonistic, or in any way present an obstacle with negativity or our presentation, but we must have the courage to share what the Lord said. If the Lord commands it, we must convey it, even if it’s difficult to do so.
  • Don’t preach indistinctly!  Truth stands out. We must let it.  We cannot hide the parts that may make the church or the preacher seem in the minority or at odds with prevailing views.  We must be Micaiahs, intently committed to preach with this philosophy: “As the Lord lives, what the Lord says to me, that shall I speak” (1 Kin. 22:14).

Instead, preach the Word!  Saturate your message with His message.  The late Wendell Winkler would say, “Fill your lesson with Scripture. At least that much of it will be right!  Let God get a word in edgewise!”  Some have convinced themselves that they know better than God does what makes sermons effective.  The old song, “None of Self and all of Thee,” is in order here.  Hide behind the cross and lift Him up.  Being thoroughly biblical, applicable, and practical, we will grow the church and we will grow people.  If one is prone to veer from His pattern and example of New Testament preaching, may we ask such a one is genuine, loving candor, “Don’t preach!”

(Carl preaching the word in Cambodia last month)

An Up And Comer In A Different Profession

Neal Pollard

How many human cannonballs at the circus can call themselves “Oxford-trained”?  30-year-old Gary Stocker, with law degree in tow, left a six figure income working as an academic law writer and legal recruitment officer and “ran away with Chaplin’s Circus” (Lizzy Buchan, Cambridge News Online, 7/11/14).  He actually is starting up the circus with a buddy he worked with as a street performer as a teenager, and he actually had continuing various performances while a student at the prestigious British university.  While many would be baffled to think of one leaving a comfortable, white-collar occupation for one that has been for the more common, blue-collar person since ancient Roman times, Stocker is choosing what he loves over what others thought more suitable for him.

A thought occurred to me as a new class is about to embark on their studies at the Bear Valley Bible Institute next week.  There is an analogy here, as men come to us not only from High School but more often from medical, business, agricultural, mechanical, military, law enforcement, and other professions. For 50 years, men have been leaving jobs, often well-paying, respectable ones, to pursue “the foolishness of preaching” (cf. 1 Co. 1:18-21).  Some, even close friends, brethren, and family, may question their thinking for undertaking such a pursuit and even offer resistance and dissuasion.  When they graduate and go into full-time ministry, they may never regain the income or have the notoriety they would have enjoyed in the secular world.  However, it can be argued they will be entering the most noble, worthwhile profession there is.  To work with the people of God and to bring the lost to God provides endless, invigorating opportunity and excitement. Each day is new, exciting, and rewarding.  Though it has its pressures, disappointments, and trials, it is a work that is easy to love!

There are men who may be successfully toiling in some other field, but they leave it for a love of preaching.  Thank God for these men.  Let us encourage them and ever have a hand in helping these “up and comers” in their new profession!

“I THINK I UNDERSTAND”

Neal Pollard

As part of the personal evangelism class I just taught in Cambodia, I had the students engage in role-playing for a couple of days.  It was wonderful and memorable.  Some of the students are brand new Christians and have no experience doing personal work.  All of them got into it wholeheartedly. Perhaps the most poignant moment came about purely accidentally.  We had a table set up, with a teacher, silent partner, and student.  The “student” was to come up with the issue or dilemma for the “teacher” to solve. In one particular scenario, the “student” hit the teacher with his true background.  He said, “When I was born, I did not even get to see my parents. They died and I am an orphan. If there is a God, why did this happen?”  His teacher gently and unassumingly said, “I think I understand. I lost my parents when I was young, too, and I am an orphan.” There followed a beautiful lesson on God’s love and pretty good insights on why there is suffering in this world. But the fact his teacher not only comprehended, but experienced his situation made a huge impact on everyone in the room.

We will suffer in a great many ways throughout our short sojourn on this earth.  At times, we may think that not another soul on earth understands.  Perhaps, there will come a time when that is actually true.  However, we will never encounter a single trial but that someone will always understand.  He may not be on earth, but He is ever-present. He is actually omnipresent.  The Hebrews writer says of Him, “For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin. Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need” (Heb. 4:15-16).  As we bring our biggest, most debilitating issues into His presence, He gently says, “I think I understand.” Praise God!

HURT PEOPLE HURT PEOPLE

Neal Pollard

Several have made the observation that hurt people are inclined to hurt people.  I have been told that by others to explain mean, hurtful, rude, and inappropriate remarks.  Yet, since everyone experiences significant hurt (so the Holy Spirit said through Job in Job 14:1), why doesn’t everyone lash out and wound others as they suffer from their own and various “injuries”?  Why do others, including those claiming to be Christians, seem inclined to injure others with especially their speech? It is good to get some perspective and not take personally the times someone cuts and slashes us or we witness a hurt person hurting someone else.  While it never excuses bad behavior, it does help to understand it better.  However, what can we say to the hurtful hurt person?

  • Take your hurts to God’s throne.  He is perfect and perfectly impartial (Acts 10:34-35).  He also has all the facts and all the answers.  He can help our life’s situations better than anyone else.  Let Him help you bear the load.
  • Don’t allow your pain to injure your influence or your spirituality.  It is possible for us to earn a reputation as sarcastic, biting, mean-spirited, passive-aggressive, critical, etc.  Yet, we never want to do anything that threatens to douse our Christian lights.
  • Find healthy ways to work through the hurt.  Prayer has already been mentioned.  Loving, spiritual confrontation is another (cf. Gal. 6:1; Mat. 18:15ff). Part of healthy coping is avoiding the unhealthy.
  • Focus intently on the spirit of the “Golden Rule.”  Be sure that you would want said to you what you are tempted to say or if you’d want it said in the way you’re going to say it before you let it fly.  It requires tremendous self-awareness and self-examination to successfully do this, but it can make all the difference.
  • Try to move from hypersensitivity to genuine concern for others.  We cannot keep our feelings on our sleeves and keep a record of wrongs done to us. It’s not loving (1 Co. 13:5).  What is loving is to work to look out for the interest of others (Phi. 2:4).
  • Measure the impact of your words before you say them.  You cannot unsay things, so think it through first!  The late Marshal Keeble once said, “Before we speak, we must chew our words and taste them and see if they are pleasant words.”  If not, swallow them!

Since “death and life are in the power of the tongue” (Pro. 18:21), we must make the choice to say words that heal rather than kill, that restore and do not demolish.  We should never wish to contribute to another’s struggle to walk in the light or get to heaven, and we must consider how our words either encourage or discourage.  If hurt people hurt people, what do saved people do?

 

Studying The Sweet Samaritan

Neal Pollard

Jesus wants us concerned with people, especially those near us in some way.  It may be easier to care about someone who looks like us, who is decent or even attractive, or who is easier to help.  The unattractive, strange, dissimilar, or unpleasant may not be ones we are as easily drawn to assist.  That is why Jesus’ teaching on who our neighbor is ought to be convicting and persuasive.  Luke 10:30-37 records the infamous lesson of the good Samaritan.  Here is what the text reveals about this story.

The parable reveals a problem (30).  Someone is hurt and in need and can do nothing for himself.  It is an observable problem, as the text will reveal.

The parable reveals three pedestrians (31-33), a priest, a Levite, and the Samaritan.  The first two do nothing to help the hurting man, but the Samaritan is moved to provide assistance. The priest was passive, the Levite paused, but the Samaritan pitied.

The parable reveals a proper performance (34-35).  It is seen in what he felt—compassion. It is seen in what he did—came to him, bandaged him, soothed him, carried him, cared for him, and supported him.

The parable reveals a proof (36). Jesus asks, “Which of these three do you think proved to be a neighbor…?”  The answer did not depend on how long they were followers of God, how much they knew, or how much influence they had in the community.  The proof was in the performance, as revealed in the previous two verses.

The parable reveals the point (37).  The point of the parable is to prove to be a good neighbor by “going” and “doing.”  Learning this story or hearing its application does not make one a good Samaritan.  Feeling convicted does not, either.  Instead, the good neighbor is the one who puts the principles of this parable into practice.  Jesus would tell us all, “Go and do the same.”

SOME GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GOD

 

Neal Pollard

• He Is Omniscient, Yet Optimistic (Jer. 26:3).

• He Knows Us Better Than We Know Ourselves And Still Is Not Willing That Any Should Perish (2 Pet. 3:9).

• He Sees Our Stingy Tendencies, But He Still Gives Freely(Rom. 8:32; Eph 1:6).

• He Knows We Can Be Faithless, But He Is Still Faithful (2 Cor. 1:18; 2 Tim 2:13).

• We Keep Track Of Others’ Wrongs, But God Can Forget (Heb. 10:17).

• We Procrastinate And Delay, But God’s Patience Still Waits (So Far) (1 Pet. 3:20; 2 Pet. 3:15).

• In A World With Too Much Impersonal Care, He Personally Cares (1 Pet 5:7).

• When We Feel Ignored By Others, He Sees Even Minute Details (Matt 10:29-31).

• In A World Of Fickle, Fading Love, His Lovingkindnesses Never Cease (Lam. 3:22).

• People Forget The Help, Favors, And Gifts We Give Them, But God Is Not Unjust To Forget Your Work And The Love You Have Shown In His Name (Heb. 6:10).

• Though Others May Abandon You, He’s Coming Back To Claim His Own (John 14:3; 1 Thess. 4:16-18).

HAVING CONFIDENCE IN YOU


Neal Pollard
“What did he mean by that?” “Those elders never get it right!” “You know our preacher. What else would you expect?” “That deacon is destined to fail.” “Those people at church!” “They don’t like me.”
What would it be like to work with a congregation that had people who openly flaunted their sexual immorality, that was divisive, that even was guilty of worshiping pagan idols, that had members who were filled with sinful pride and arrogance, whose wealthy members neglected and mistreated the poor members, and who saw spiritual works and involvement as a competition? That was not a nightmare for the apostle Paul. It was a reality. The church was in Corinth, and he wrote multiple letters to them. The first one preserved by God in the Bible addressed a variety of problems including the above-mentioned ones. Then, in the epistle we know as 2 Corinthians, Paul conducts a follow up in which he commends their penitent spirit and encourages them to find comfort in Christ despite trials. No fewer than four times, Paul speaks of having confidence in them. As he viewed their reformation of character, he said, “I have confidence in you” (2 Cor. 2:3). Later, he says, “Great is my confidence in you” (2 Cor. 7:4). A few verses later, he says, “I rejoice that in everything I have confidence in you” (2 Cor. 7:16). He even relates Titus’ “great confidence” in Corinth (2 Cor. 8:22).
Paul is often credited for his master psychology, his knowledge of how to treat the brethren to “get the most” out of them. Yet, if Paul was this disingenuous manipulator, he would not draw heaven’s praise nor would he have found sustained success. The right conclusion is that Paul really did have confidence in his brethren. That does not mean that he thought they would never let him down or that he was gullible and naïve. It did not mean that he did not reprove and rebuke in appropriate measures. But, it did mean that Paul had faith in the average Christian’s ability to know and do “the right thing.”
Every church has its stumbling blocks, but no congregation could survive for any length of time made up entirely of them. Most congregations have a healthy number of building blocks and we do well to address them as Paul did Corinth. Do we have faith in each other? Or do we assume the worst motives and intentions on the part of others? Not only is that somewhat paranoid and miserable, but it is quite un-Paul-like. Let us have confidence in the other fellow. And let us strive to be worthy of others’ confidence in us!

CONDITIONAL LOVE

And she still loves us anyway!

Neal Pollard

In every area of life I can think of, conditions are necessary.  Contracts almost always contain clauses, caveats, and quid pro quos.  Jesus even provided conditions for the marriage “contract,” allowing one whose mate commits fornication to divorce and remarry an eligible person (Mat. 19:9) or one whose mate dies to marry an eligible person (Rom. 7:1-4).  Though making no allowance for remarriage, as some say, Paul does add that one does not have choose marital obligations to a mate over Christ (1 Cor. 7:15).  Further, one is not required to remain in a situation where abuse and physical danger is a viable threat either to that one or whatever children are involved, even if such reprehensible conduct does not allow the victim the right of remarriage (cf. Mat. 5:32; 19:9).  Love does not act unbecomingly (1 Cor. 13:5), and those who are lazy, lustful, selfish, demeaning, wrathful, and the like may bear the fruit of disdain and distance from a fed-up or heart-broken spouse.

That said, there is an alarming amount of “conditional love” that defies sympathy.  Through the years, I have known those before and after marriage who made the physical weight and appearance of their loved one a condition of their love.  For others, it was money or salary.  For others still, it was social status and social-climbing.  Perhaps, with some brainstorming, we could grow this list of “provisos” much longer.  This approach to “love” that says “I will love you if…,” “I will love you when…,” “I will love you unless…,” or “I will love you until” runs contrary to the spirit of Christ.  He is the standard of love.  Husbands are to love their wives like Christ loved the church (Eph. 5:25).  Wives are to be taught to demonstrate selfless love to their husbands, too (Ti. 2:4).

Consider Christ’s love.  He loved us when we were helpless, sinful enemies (Rom. 5:6-10).  He loved us before we loved Him (1 Jn. 4:19).  He continues to love us, though we fall short (Rom. 3:23; 8:38-39).  That does not mean that He will unconditionally save us, but the Bible’s clear indication is that He will continue to love us no matter what.  Certainly, that will revolutionize our thinking as a Christian, but we should allow it to revolutionize our earthly relationships.  As John says, “Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another” (1 Jn. 4:11).

The Difference Between Love And Lust

Neal Pollard

Some years ago, Elvis Huffard discussed some fundamental differences between love and lust. In chart form, he drew them out for consideration. Here they are:

Love                                                                Lust                                                              

Flows both ways                                         Flows toward self

Is learned                                                      Known naturally

Requires attention                                    Takes little effort

An art, not feelings-based                      Act of will, you feel like it

Interested in others’ reputation          Has no such concern

“Greatest…” (1 Cor. 13:13)                     Part of sinful man to be put off (Eph. 4:22)

The world and worldly thinking are continually confused between these two entities. One has the potential to destroy lives, condemn souls, and ruin futures. The other has the ability to transform the object of it, to encourage, and to improve. One has the chafing strings of guilt, shame, fear, and corruption attached. The other is a component part of the fruit of the Spirit, against which “there is no law” (Gal. 5:23b). One is synonymous with spiritual dirtiness, darkness, and deceit. The other is akin to spiritual purity, pleasure, and peace. One caused embarrassment and repercussion for Amnon, Tamar, David, Bathsheba, the men of Sodom, Lot’s family, Noah’s neighbors, the Corinthian man and his father’s wife. The other had its highest expression at a hill called Calvary. One is the path of least resistance, but ends at Destruction Drive. The other road is often narrow, uphill, and bumpy, but the payoff is Paradise Place. One teaches self-absorption, but the other is imminently selfless though self is often rewarded as a byproduct rather than the intention of its execution. The one is base and leads one lower and lower. The other is the polar opposite of this.

So, why do the majority choose lust over love? It’s easier. It gratifies immediate, impulsive desires. It’s enticing in prospect. That it is also destructive to homes and families, churches, and societies is often obscured by those short-term attributes. It requires continued effort and conscious determination to “do” love rather than “feel” lust. The pay off is not flashy or dramatic. It is steady and subtle. Its effects are best seen in the rearview mirror after a long journey, but it is a rare and beautiful view. It is up on the mountain top in the direction of heaven rather than low and frightful in the valley of despair and regret. Choose love over lust, in view of the warning: “Therefore put to death your members which are on the earth: fornication, uncleanness, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. Because of these things the wrath of God is coming upon the sons of disobedience” (Col. 3:5-6). Better still, choose love over lust because of the warming: “For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name, that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in the inner man, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; and that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God” (Eph. 3:14-19).

“Let Your Love Light Shine”


Neal Pollard

One of the most famous light houses in America is Minot’s Ledge Light House off shore from Scituate, Massachusetts.  It is not known for its age or beauty.  Though it has a rich, interesting history, it is perhaps best known for its light flashing, in nautical code, “1-4-3.”  The flashing lantern was installed in 1894 by the Coast Guard, a simple flashing sequence.  But, to so many, it quickly came to mean much more.

The wife of light-keeper Winfield Scott Thompson told her small children that Thompson was telling them how much he loved them every night with this “I love you” flash.  Many sailors, long at sea, have taken comfort by Minot’s Ledge’s flashing signal.  Several years ago, the Coast Guard decided to replace the old equipment.  They informed the residents that the new equipment would not be able to flash “143” and the outcry was such that the Coast Guard eventually gave in to it.  The old equipment remained, flashing its message of love to all who came within its reach and influence (info via Boston.com).

Minot’s Ledge Light House is known as the “lover’s light.”  What a wonderful reputation!  You and I are flashing signals, too.  They are perhaps at times neutral, but in the overall they are either loving or unloving.  Our actions, our words, and our attitudes convey a message about us.  They may repel or attract.  It depends on what signals we are sending.

Jesus tells us that His church should be shining a loving light (John 13:34-35).  We should be renowned as a loving people.  Husbands (Eph. 5:25) and wives (Ti. 2:5) are told to let their love lights shine toward each other.  Parents are to love their children in a way that is plainly evident (Ti. 2:5; 1 Tim. 2:15).

What signal are you emitting?  If you are Christ’s, it will be loving.  Let your love light shine and it will bless all who come within your reach and influence.