Tag: listening

Are You Listening?

Carl Pollard

How good a listener are you? 

Studies have shown that the average person thinks about four times faster than they talk. This can be a blessing, or a curse. Chances are, when it comes to listening to others, you may struggle to pay attention. 

Research suggests that in a single day, you will hear around 20-30,000 words. But of those 30,000 words, you will only remember about 17 percent. Let me illustrate. Last week my sermon was 2,779 words. The chances of someone remembering what it was about are slim. I’d be blown away if they could tell me 15 percent of what I said! 

With all the words we hear in a day, we get to decide what we will remember, and what we will let in one ear and out the other. The power of listening, what problems could be solved if we put our focus on listening to those around us. Most people listen to respond, rather than be an objective listener. Have you ever heard of effective listening? This is a skill that takes practice and effort to achieve. A person that hasn’t worked to develop good listening skills is likely to understand and retain only about 50 percent of any conversation, and that is immediately after the conversation. 48 hours later, average retention drops to less than 25 percent. 

Here’s the difference, I know you can think of conversations you’ve had with your spouse, children, or a friend. Maybe it was last month, last year, or 10 years ago, but you still remember every word. Why is that? Because you were being an effective listener in that moment. Whether it was good news, or bad news, you remember because you were truly listening. Most of our conversations fly by and we are on auto pilot, or trying to make conversation, or preoccupied. 

The Power of Listening.

Our relationships would be so healthy if we practiced good listening to those we love. Healthy relationships are built on communication, and a vital part of good communication is listening. You get the point, but I hope you are listening when I say this…It is no different with God. We’ve got to tune out the distractions, and listen to our God. Satan would love nothing more than for you to tune out God. 

He would love for your life to be so busy and hectic that you fail to remember your Father above. The words around us shape who we become. Studies have shown, 85 percent of what you know and who you are as a human being comes directly from the words of your parents, teachers, spouses, and friends. 

Don’t leave God’s Word out of that equation. 

Let His words transform and shape you. But in order for this to happen, we’ve GOT to listen! Imagine being in a noisy room, filled with the sounds of laughter, talking, music, and glasses clinking. And above the noise you hear the sound of a familiar voice calling your name. They’re trying to tell you something, so what do you do? You tune everything out, and focus in on their voice. 

We live in a noisy world, and it is a world that God is trying to call us out of. The only way you’ll hear Him is if you tune out the distractions and focus on His voice. In John 10:27, Jesus says, “My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow Me.” How can we be called Christians if we don’t listen to our Savior? The power of listening can be seen through the fact that we found salvation through hearing the word of God! “So faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the Word of God” (Rom. 10:17).  

Are you listening? Focus on God through the chaos, and you will find peace and joy through it all!

Beyond Platitudes: The Power Of Empathetic Listening

Brent Pollard

The protagonist in “THX 1138” navigates a dystopian society where the government enforces drug-induced obedience, resulting in a docile population. This society is meticulously regulated, with every aspect weighed against cost efficiency. The government aggressively eliminates overbudget items and even regulates religion.

The Renaissance image of Jesus Christ by Hans Memling serves as the visual representation of the deity OMM-0000, whom the inhabitants of this dystopia worship. THX 1138 engages OMM in a phone booth-like setting, seeking solace by sharing his concerns. However, OMM’s responses are eerily consistent regardless of your problem, providing generic advice that appears disconnected from the protagonist’s circumstances. The impression that THX 1138 is merely interacting with a machine becomes clear.

Here are OMM-0000’s canned responses to THX 1138 in one scene of the movie:

“My time is yours…

Very good, proceed…

Yes, I understand…

Yes fine…

Yes… yes, I understand…

Yes, fine…

Excellent…

Yes…

Could you be more specific?

You are a true believer.

Blessings of the state, blessings of the masses. Thou art a subject of the divine. Created in the image of man, by the masses, for the masses. Let us be thankful that we have an occupation to fill. Work hard, increase production, prevent accidents, and be happy.”

In another interchange between THX 1138 and OMM, OMM’s dialogue is verbatim until the last sentences:

“Let us be thankful we have commerce. Buy more. Buy more now. Buy more and be happy.”

In this part of the movie, THX 1138 is not taking the mandated drugs, and as a result, he experiences withdrawal symptoms. These symptoms exacerbate the harsh and gloomy reality of his dystopian world. Although he has someone in OMM who is supposed to bring comfort, THX 1138 discovers the truth about his god.

I have sought advice from Christian community members who unfortunately ended up as helpful as OMM, providing me with canned answers like “read your Bible” and “pray more.” Although this advice is valuable, it doesn’t always feel enough when faced with specific difficulties. By telling someone their positivity alone can help them overcome adversity, we place an unfair burden as they strive to cope and find solutions. For instance, a brother once told me I could overcome Crohn’s disease simply by thinking myself well since the Bible says our thoughts determine our reality. (“As a man thinks in his heart, so is he.” Proverbs 23.7 NKJV). Such viewpoints can be particularly frustrating when one is dealing with complex issues, such as long-term health problems or depression, for which easy solutions do not exist.

The biblical figure Job faced similar frustrations. Initially, his friends offered silent support during his grief. However, they responded with criticism rather than understanding when he expressed his suffering. Job’s desire to argue his case directly with God emphasizes the importance of being heard and understood rather than dismissed with platitudes or unfounded advice (see Job 13.1–5).

The subject matter highlights a more significant issue: the tendency to provide quick fixes rather than empathetic listening. In times of pain or doubt, people often need space to express themselves, even if their words appear exaggerated or contentious. Job’s friends should have silently listened when Job wished he had not been born instead of blaming his alleged sins. The story of Job demonstrates that divine compassion outweighs human judgment, reminding us of the Christian call to love and listen to one another without passing judgment or offering simplistic advice.

Therefore, the next time someone seeks your support, resist the impulse to provide immediate solutions. Instead, listen attentively and allow them to guide the conversation. A listening ear rather than unsolicited advice can provide genuine relief and support, fostering a more compassionate and understanding environment. Prayerfully speak to them when appropriate once someone has fully vented their emotions.

More About God

Thursday’s Column: Captain’s Blog

 

Carl Pollard

It’s physically impossible for us to know everything about God. Our minds wouldn’t be able to comprehend Who He Is, but this doesn’t give us an excuse to not try and know more about the Creator. When I was younger, I believed in God. I knew He existed, but I failed to grasp some very important things about God. For example, how much He cares for us. 
Matthew 10:31-32 says, “But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So do not fear; you are more valuable than many sparrows.” Have you ever stopped to think about the fact that God cares for you personally? When we pray to Him, He takes the time to listen to our problems. People pay thousands of dollars for someone to listen to them. This care that God has for us is greater than anything on earth.
With this in mind, we need to spend more time trying to grow our relationship with Him. John 3:16 shows just how badly God desires to call us His own. God loved the world. He cares for us and wants us. Knowing how much He cares for us, let’s use this to work harder in our relationship with God. Earthly relationships take work. If we love someone it takes effort to have a healthy relationship. It takes time, commitment, sacrifice, and communication. It’s the same in our relationship with God.
My parents used to say, “Remember who you are and Whose you are.” If we would understand more about God, the fact that He is our Father and that He is the source of Love, we can live right for Him. Knowing these things about the Father brings understanding. We now understand that,

A personal knowledge of God leads to

–A Prayerful Life (1 John 5:14) 

–A Peaceful life (2 Thes. 3:16) 

–A Purposeful Life (Ecc. 12:13-14)

Photo credit: Pixabay

Hearing Protection

Wednesday’s Column: Third’s Words

Gary III

Gary Pollard

Hearing is pretty important. One of the best things about the beach is the sound of the waves crashing against the shore. How many have lost a loved one and, more than anything, just want to hear their voice again? I’ve been told that the sound of birds in the early morning is very peaceful (I wouldn’t know from experience because mornings are for crazy people). We experience and enjoy so much of the world through hearing! 

We usually take precautions while doing something that could potentially damage our hearing. When using some kind of implement like a mower, chainsaw, tractor, leaf blower, etc., we might use hearing protection. If you like to go shooting, you’ll definitely use earplugs or a suppressor (if you don’t mind the paperwork) to mitigate some of the sound. If you work in an industrial environment, chances are you’ll spend most of the day with earplugs in. We take these precautions because we’d like to keep our hearing for as long as we can. 

There’s a lot of noise in our world right now. People are screaming out their political viewpoints and world-views. Hatred on both sides of the political aisle is being shared with as much volume as their respective constituents can muster. Media has given us information overload and we’re very aware of everything going wrong with the world. It’s no surprise to me that so many people in our time are experiencing daily, sometimes-crippling anxiety. The noise we’re experiencing is deafening. 

Our world needs a refresher course on hearing safety, so what follows is merely the essentials. 

First, unnecessary exposure to noise may cause irreparable damage. The greatest hazards are social and news media as they produce the most volume. Many of us are exposing ourselves to the negativity found in these platforms at dangerous levels. Cutting way back on our exposure to these sources of division, anxiety, violence, and hatred is sure to help us avoid damage. 

Second, it’s called “volume” for a reason: lots of voices are involved. We can do our part to prevent damage by simply not contributing to the decibel level. Imagine how much more peaceful our world would be if most people refrained from publicly sharing their opinions! By not contributing to the noise level, we can help ourselves and others stay spiritually and emotionally sound. 

Finally, use hearing protection! It may not be a bad idea to put away any conduits to information for a while. Spend some time with friends and family, spend some time in nature, spend some time being productive around the house, spend some time in a hobby, spend some time in the Word. 

If we follow these three things – avoiding or limiting exposure, not contributing to the noise level, and using hearing protection – we will find ourselves happier, healthier, more unified, stronger, more spiritual, and less anxious. For the next few weeks (months?), let’s use hearing protection and see if our outlook doesn’t improve drastically. 

Proverbs 1:5; 17:4

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Rebuke Requires Relationship

Neal Pollard

  • A child scolded by an austere stranger may get frightened or bullied, but not persuaded or “reached.” A parent, grandparent, a sibling, or good friend will be much more effective.
  • A church member reprimanded by an aloof elder with none of the skill and instincts of a shepherd will get offended, hurt, and angered, but will likely ignore the admonition. A caring, involved elder, even if what he says is difficult and narrow, will prove much more effective. Jesus makes this clear in John 10:5.
  • A preacher who isolates himself from the members, though golden-tongued and 100% right, will cause rankling and roiling rather than remorse and repentance when dealing with sensitive, “hard” subjects. Yet, a man people know cares about them will be given a hearing on even “hot button” matters delivered in loving conviction. 2 Timothy 2:24-26 makes this clear.
  • A brother or sister bringing a criticism or dispensing blunt advice, who has done nothing to establish rapport and relationship with the object of their censure, will have zero impact for good and most likely widen the distance already existent between them. Galatians 6:1-2 implies one who has worn the yoke with the one approached about the trespass.
  • A “Facebook friend” or social media connection, who does a drive-by, verbal “shooting,” devoid of real life connection and bond, is seen as an obnoxious oaf at best and more likely as an impertinent intruder. That forum is not typically going to work for effective exhortation, especially if the dressing-down comes from one who has established no meaningful link. Remember, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend” (Prov. 27:6). That’s a real friend; not a virtual one.
  • A neighbor who has taken no time to be a friend or neighborly delivers hollow requests, suggestions, or demands. Without benefit of time and shared experience, this is received as bad manners and bad form. One who takes the time to demonstrate care will be much better heard (cf. Prov. 11:12).
  • A co-worker or schoolmate will be unpersuaded by someone who makes no time for them or takes no time to get to know them but who gets in their business is wasting their time. But, one who proves genuine concern will much more likely get a thoughtful hearing.

It’s just the way we are. We bristle at cold, heartless interference from the seemingly disinterested party. But we are open and receptive to people who take the time to get to know, understand, and care about us. The same thing said the same way will make a big difference, depending on the presence or absence of a relationship. We would do well to strive to build more and better relationships, especially if we desire to help people grow closer to Christ and go to heaven. May we first work on the connection before we attempt the correction.

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How Well Do We Listen?

Neal Pollard

A Dilbert comic strip by Scott Adams is a side-splitter! Dilute is sitting in one of what seems like an endless series of meetings, and the fellow next to him is droning on and on about something. Dilbert thinks to himself that he will substitute an optimistic remark for listening and winds up making an inappropriate and awkward remark. The droner is aghast!

Listening is not a forte for most of us. In casual conversation with either acquaintances or intimate friends we often are much more intent to have our say than to hear out the other person. McKay and Davis, in Messages, mentions no fewer than 12 “listening blocks” (comparing, mind-reading, judging, dreaming, sparring, placating, etc.) (8-12). On just about anyone’s list of main contributors to marital difficulty is communication breakdown. A spouse may even hear what the other is saying but still miss the deeper messages being sent. Our children will find an audience to share their fears, questions, confusions, frustrations, and hopes. Parents who do not give their children an open forum, no matter how inconvenient it may be for them at times, lose their spot at that precious roundtable. In the church, we often lose our members–especially when they are in emotional, financial, or spiritual crisis–because we are not listening to what they say is going on with them.

We know how frustrated we feel when we think we have not been heard. Preachers and Bible class teachers usually have moments along the way when they think, “If I stopped talking right now, would anybody know or care?” Soul-winners may feel that their students sometimes respond to their teaching by tuning out the message. Elders and members often feel that way toward each other, that they are not being heard.

Let me encourage you to, borrowing the words of Jesus, “take heed how you hear” (Luke 8:18). A friend and former elder, John Langham, once reminded me of Proverbs 18:13, that “he who answers a matter before he hears it, it is folly and shame to him.” Make a special effort, in whatever position as listener you may find yourself, to work hard to actively, faithfully tune in to the one speaking to you. It is not only polite, but it allows you to be more clearly heard. Let’s practice today!

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