When Love Becomes A Command

Brent Pollard

Learning Love in a World That Forgot Its Meaning

Kyoto Animation released an animated series about an orphan who becomes a weapon of war in a fictional world resembling early twentieth-century Europe. The orphan’s name was Violet Evergarden. During her time in the war, her last handler, Major Gilbert Bougainvillea, couldn’t see her as just a weapon. In their final campaign together, he was gravely injured, and Violet herself was severely hurt. Major Bougainvillea’s last words to Violet were words she could not understand: “I love you.”

When Violet wakes up, she is recovering from her injuries, unaware of the Major’s whereabouts. Claudia Hodgins, Gilbert’s friend, keeps his promise to care for Violet. Hodgins runs the C.H. Postal Company, an amanuensis service where women called Auto Memory Dolls type letters for a largely illiterate population. He offers Violet a job, which she accepts mainly to understand Bougainvillea’s final words. As she interacts with clients, Violet gradually uncovers the true meaning of that mysterious word “love.”

Love That Transcends Death

Of her clients, the one most closely imitating biblical love was Clara Magnolia. Clara was terminally ill and knew she would not live to see her daughter, Anne, grow up. Despite her pain and limited time, her primary focus was ensuring her daughter would feel loved and guided throughout her life, long after she was gone. Clara spent her final days dictating fifty letters to Violet—one for each of Anne’s birthdays for the next half-century.

This required immense effort and time away from the little she had left with her daughter. Her love was not merely a feeling but a tangible plan of action that transcended death. She arranged for annual delivery, providing enduring comfort and a constant reminder of her presence. Her goal was solely Anne’s well-being and emotional security, giving her the strength to move forward despite the loss. Violet herself was profoundly moved, crying for the first time as she processed the depth of a mother’s love.

Here was love in its purest form—not sentiment, but sacrifice. Not words alone, but action that costs something. The mother’s letters became a testament to love’s refusal to be conquered by death itself.

Why Love Must Be Commanded

Violet Evergarden’s unfamiliarity with love might seem extreme to us. Yet this is understandable, given her background—an orphan raised without nurturing, trained from childhood to fight her country’s enemies. Major Bougainvillea was the only person who ever showed her kindness. Consequently, the phrase “I love you” would seem foreign to her. If someone had asked her to love at that moment, it would have felt more like a command than a natural feeling.

And here lies a profound truth: Christ’s love is commanded precisely because it does not come naturally to us.

The New Commandment That Wasn’t Exactly New

Have you ever wondered why Jesus called His command to love a “new commandment” or why such a command was even needed? (John 13:34). Moses’ Law instructed people to love their neighbors as themselves (Leviticus 19:18). But by Jesus’ time, legalists had distorted this idea so much that they only required love for a specific group they chose.

To correct this misconception, Jesus told the parable of the Good Samaritan (Luke 10:25-37). In the story, a member of a hated ethnic group is depicted as the neighbor. Unlike the priest and Levite, this Samaritan demonstrated compassion toward a stranger. As Jesus describes him, this Samaritan was ready to set aside his own self-interest to love another (see Philippians 2:3-8).

The newness of Jesus’ command lay not in its novelty but in its radical scope and depth. God, in His sovereignty, ordained that His people would be marked not by external rituals but by sacrificial love—the very nature of His own character made visible in human relationships.

The Washing of Feet and the Death of Self

In the context of Jesus’ command to demonstrate this “new love,” He humbled Himself by kneeling to wash His disciples’ feet (John 13:4ff). As no one was there to fulfill the role of hospitality, Jesus took on that servant role Himself. By doing so, He set aside His position as “Lord and Master” (John 13:14 KJV). Jesus also assumed this role to correct the disciples’ misunderstanding about who was the greatest among them (see Luke 22:24).

He did this because, as Paul later explained, this love “does not seek its own benefit” (1 Corinthians 13:5 NASB). Such is this self-sacrificial love that it enabled Jesus to demonstrate it fully by laying down His life for others (John 15:13).

Consider the basin and towel. In that moment, the infinite became the servant of the finite. The God who spoke galaxies into existence knelt to wash the dust from human feet. This was no mere object lesson but the revelation of what love actually is: the voluntary descent of the greater to serve the lesser, the strong making themselves weak for the sake of the weak.

Learning to Love the Unlovable

The reason Jesus had to command this love is that it doesn’t come naturally to us. We often see love as reciprocal—if you love me, I will love you back. Jesus understood this mindset, so He taught that we should love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us (Matthew 5:43-44).

He also demonstrated this love personally. As the Romans crucified Him, Jesus asked for forgiveness for those who had clamored for His death: “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34 KJV). Although such love can be challenging to learn, it is possible to learn. The first Christian martyr, Stephen, exemplified this love when he prayed for his killers: “Lord, do not hold this sin against them!” (Acts 7:60 NASB95).

The Mark That Cannot Be Counterfeited

Jesus continues in John 13:35: “By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another” (NASB95). There is no doubt that the lack of unity in messaging among those calling themselves Christian discourages the world from accepting Christ. But perhaps more damaging than this confusion is the failure of God’s people to demonstrate the new love of Jesus Christ.

In a world full of people like the fictional Violet Evergarden—who fail to understand the meaning of love—Christians are supposed to be known for showing true love. They are called to love one another unconditionally, just as Christ loved them. This kind of love is sacrificial, forgiving, and selfless—traits that are counter-cultural and truly distinguish Christians.

Someone once observed that the church’s greatest testimony is not her doctrine, though doctrine matters immensely, but her life. When believers love with the love of Christ, they create a spiritual reality that cannot be explained away by skeptics or replicated by the world. This love is not sentiment but substance—not the shadow of affection but the solid thing itself, rooted in the eternal nature of God.

A Love That Transforms the World

By demonstrating this love through their actions and relationships, believers have the opportunity to genuinely reflect the character of Christ to a hurting and broken world. It is through this love that hearts can be changed and lives can be eternally transformed, drawing others to the hope and redemption found in Jesus.

Like Clara Magnolia, writing letters that would outlive her, Christians are called to practice a love that transcends the immediate, serving not for reward but because Christ first loved us. Like the Samaritan who stopped when others passed by, we must demonstrate compassion that costs us something. Like Stephen facing his executioners, we must learn to forgive even when forgiveness seems impossible.

This is not natural. This is not easy. But this is the call. And in God’s sovereign design, it is precisely this impossible love—commanded, learned, and practiced—that becomes the most powerful witness to His reality. For when the world sees Christians loving as Christ loved, they encounter not merely human kindness but divine character made visible in human form.

The question Violet Evergarden spent a series discovering remains before us: What does love truly mean? The answer lies not in understanding alone but in obedience—the daily choice to love as we have been loved, to serve as we have been served, to forgive as we have been forgiven.

What Happens When Christ Is Your Life

Gary Pollard

Colossians 3.3 says, “Christ is now your life. When he comes again, you will share his glory.” 

This has a follow-up: “So put everything evil out of your life: sexual sin, doing anything immoral, unhealthy desire, and wanting more things for yourself, which is the same as worshipping a false god (3.5). And, “Get these things out of your life: anger, losing your temper, doing or saying things that hurt others, and saying shameful things. Don’t lie to each other.” 

These were the kinds of things we did before we were saved. God chose us to be his special people, so he expects us to show mercy to other people, to be kind, humble, gentle, and patient. 

3.13 is an important verse because it refutes another harmful teaching we’ve all probably heard — “you don’t have to forgive someone unless they ask for forgiveness.” 3.13 says, “Don’t be angry with each other, but forgive each other. If someone wrongs you, forgive them. Forgive others because the lord forgave you.” 

Not, “forgive others when they ask for forgiveness,” but, “forgive them because your master forgave you.” This is tied to three other concepts in this section — having love for each other (14), having God’s peace while living for peace (15) and being thankful (15). 

If someone does something wrong to us, we should automatically forgive them. God forgives us when we mess up, even when we don’t ask for forgiveness (I Jn 1.7). We forgive each other because we love each other, just like God forgives us because he loves us.

God’s Family

Saturday’s Column: Learning From Lehman

Nick Dubree

Around our house, my wife has pictures with different sayings, like – “In this kitchen we lick the spoon”, “Blessed”, “Gather”, and “Give Thanks”. As much as I make fun of these light-hearted sayings, one of them caught my attention this week. It says:

“In this house we – say please and thank you, never give up, love one another, show respect, think good thoughts, say I’m sorry, give second chances, sing out loud, try to do better, give hugs, are a family.”

I couldn’t help but think about how this not only applies to my personal family, but to my church family as well. Obviously we could take each one of these phrases and spend time comparing them to our church family, but I want to spend time on just a few.

#1: Love one another and show respect.

John 13:34-35 says, “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you are also to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

Loving one another is a command from God and acts as a type of evangelism to the world. We should love in this family.

#2: Say I’m sorry and give second chances.

In Luke 15:20-24, we read about this happening in between the prodigal son and his father. In verse 21 it says, “And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’”

Not only did the father forgive his son, but he gave him a second chance. Verse 24 says, “For this my son was dead, and now is alive again; he was lost, and is found. And they began to celebrate.”

The church family should be one where we feel comfortable enough to say we are sorry and humble enough to give second chances. 

#3: We are a family.

Acts 2:44-47 gives a perfect picture of what the New Testament church family should look like. These new Christians were helping each other, spending time together, and praising God with one another. They were a family, just like we are today.

If you aren’t apart of this family yet, now is the time!

The Glue Of Guilt

Tuesday’s Column: Dale Mail

blond man with goatee smiling at camera with blazer on
Dale Pollard

Samuel is nearing the end of his life by the time you read 1 Samuel 12. He gives a speech to all of Israel and there are several chilling statements that force us to consider our own spiritual standing. Samuel seeks the counsel of the Lord and asks Him on behalf of the people for an earthly king. God had established the Judges to rule them rather than a king which was typical for the time period. God grants their request, even though this kind of leadership was bound for failure. He handed Israel their shovel, and they began to dig. Here are some of Samuel’s final words. 

“Then Samuel called on the Lord, and that same day the Lord sent thunder and rain. So all the people stood in awe of the Lord and of Samuel. The people all said to Samuel, “Pray to the Lord your God for your servants so that we will not die, for we have added to all our other sins the evil of asking for a king.”“Do not be afraid,” Samuel replied. “You have done all this evil; yet do not turn away from the Lord, but serve the Lord with all your heart. Do not turn away after useless idols. They can do you no good, nor can they rescue you, because they are useless. For the sake of his great name the Lord will not reject his people, because the Lord was pleased to make you his own. As for me, far be it from me that I should sin against the Lord by failing to pray for you. And I will teach you the way that is good and right. But be sure to fear the Lord and serve him faithfully with all your heart; consider what great things he has done for you. Yet if you persist in doing evil, both you and your king will perish” (18-25).

Here are five quick observations and practical truths based on Samuel’s speech. 

  1. We should never let our previous sins hold us back from pressing forward. Samuel tells the children of Israel not to let the evil in their recent past keep them down— but he doesn’t pretend as if they hadn’t sinned against God. 
  2. Samuel reminds the people that God is quick to forgive. 
  3. It’s interesting that Samuel says that his failure to pray for God’s people would be a sinful thing for him to do. 
  4. Samuel tells the people to fear the Lord AND remember what He’s done for them. God could have wiped them out. He clearly had the ability as he demonstrated His power over nature in the beginning of this section. 
  5. It was true for the children of Israel and it’s true for us today. If we persist in doing evil, we will perish. 

The Old Testament is filled with relevant applications for us today. Let’s learn from the past, and like Samuel said— let’s not let our past failures keep us from moving forward. 

Fantastic Fact About Forgiveness

Wednesday’s Column: Third’s Words

Gary III

Gary Pollard

When we forgive someone we usually do not forget what we forgave. Unless there is an underlying condition, our minds do not automatically or immediately delete irrelevant information, like something we no longer hold against another person. Because of this, it can be hard to understand what God’s forgiveness means for the Christian. We’ll think, “I know He has forgiven me, but there’s no way He’s forgotten about it. Maybe it will ‘cloud’ His decision to forgive me next time I ask.” 

This is a very common mindset, and one that I struggle with daily. When we look at scripture, though, it paints a very different picture of what God’s forgiveness really does! 

Forgiveness is the word ἀφίημι (afiemi). It has several definitions, according to Bauer: 

1. To dismiss or release someone from a place or presence. 

2. To release from a moral obligation or consequence, to cancel, remit, or pardon. 

3. To move away with implication of causing a separation, to leave or depart from. 

(BDAG 155)

Knowing this, we should look at Hebrews 8.12, “For I will be merciful to their iniquities, and I will not remember their sins anymore.” We understand that context is geared toward contrasting the old and new covenant, but it at least gives us insight into the process behind forgiveness. 

When we get forgiveness from God, that sin is eradicated. It no longer exists, it will not affect our relationship with God anymore. “Remember” in Hebrews eight is, “To call information to memory.” It’s not only that God no longer holds a sin against us, it’s that it ceases to exist in His mind. How awesome is that? 

When we ask God for forgiveness, let’s approach His throne with humility, yes, but also with confidence that He has the power and desire to make that sin disappear from our account forever. 

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I FORGIVE YOU…

Neal Pollard

…But I won’t ever treat you the same
…But I will make sure you never forget it
…But I don’t think you should serve any more
…But I will keep my distance from you
…But I will tell others about your sin
…But I will make you feel like a pariah

The very word “forgive” means to dismiss or release something from one’s presence, to let go and send away and to release from moral obligation or consequence (BDAG, 156). That sounds very different from some of the substitute offerings mentioned above. Have we ever considered all the Lord has to say about our forgiving one another?

  • But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions (Mt. 6:15).
  •  If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother (Mt. 18:15). 
  • The moral of the parable of the man forgiven much who refused to forgive the one who owed him little: ” And his lord, moved with anger, handed him over to the torturers until he should repay all that was owed him. My heavenly Father will also do the same to you, if each of you does not forgive his brother from your heart” (Mt. 18:34-35).
  • Be on your guard! If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. And if he sins against you seven times a day, and returns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ forgive him (Luke 17:3-4). 
  • Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you (Eph. 4:32).
  • Bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you (Col. 3:13).

Perhaps in our zeal (or defensiveness) to remind the offender that their sin has consequences, we add to those consequences through choices we make in response to their repentance. A penitent sinner is already struggling with guilt and accepting God’s forgiveness. The last thing we should do is make it harder for them to overcome. When they do try to put their spiritual lives back together again, we should rejoice for them and help them any way we can. Whether their sin is known to only a few or to everyone, we must handle it the way the Lord teaches us to. Jesus teaches that we can be guilty of sin ourselves by mishandling the challenging discipline of forgiving. May He help us as we strive to do it. 

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