Category: gentleness

Gentleness

Neal Pollard

The word does not show up very much in the New Testament, yet it is part of the fruit of the Spirit (Gal. 5:23). It may seem similar to patience and kindness, but it differs from them. Spiros Zodhiates, in his New Testament word study, explains gentleness as 

Meekness, but not in a man’s outward behavior only, nor in his relations to  his fellow man or his mere natural disposition. Rather, it is an inwrought grace of the soul, and the expressions of it are primarily toward God (James 1:21; 3:13; 1 Pet. 3:15; Sept.: Ps. 45:4). It is that attitude of spirit we accept God’s dealings with us as good and do not dispute or resist. Praǘtēs, according to  Aristotle, is the middle standing between two extremes, getting angry without reason (orgilótēs [n.f.]), and not getting angry at all (aorgēsía [n.f.]). Therefore, praǘtēs is getting angry at the right time, in the right measure, and for the right reason.  Praǘtēs is not readily expressed in Eng. (since the term “meekness” suggests weakness), but it is a condition of mind and heart which demonstrates gentleness, not in weakness, but in power. It is a balance born in strength of character.

Gentleness may be the consummate people skill, but it is so difficult to master. It’s often emphasized as a skill we each must have as members of the church (2 Tim. 2:24; Ti. 3:1-2). Gentleness comes in handy with soul-winning (1 Pet. 3:15), proving wisdom (James 3:13), in preaching (2 Tim. 2:25, and moral living (1 Tim. 6:11).

In the context of Galatians 5-6 and being a spiritual member of the church, gentleness is necessary for holding a congregation together. It’s how we’re told to restore an erring brother–gently (Gal. 6:1). In fact, congregational unity hinges upon our being gentle with each other (Eph. 4:1-3). 

Why is this tough? Because the world tells you it’s dog eat dog, you get them before they get you, and you go for the juggler vain. That’s horrible advice for doing business and even worse advice for treating your brethren. We live by a higher law that includes gentleness. 

A story is told  of a man whose kids won four free goldfish so he went one morning to find an aquarium at the store. The first few he priced were way too expensive, but then he spotted a discarded 10-gallon display tank, complete with gravel and filter for a mere $5. It was filthy, but the savings made the two hour clean up well worth it. Those four fish seemed to thrive in their new home, for the first day. But by the next day, one was dead. The day after that a second was dead, and a third one was gone by the end of that day. An expert was consulted and he quickly discovered the problem. The man had washed the tank with soap, an absolute no-no. His misguided efforts had destroyed the very lives he tried to protect. 

Sometimes, in our zeal to clean up others’ lives, we use the killer soaps of condemnation, criticism, nagging, and outbursts of anger. We may think we are doing right, but our harsh self-righteousness is too much for the object of our efforts.  Paul stresses that a failure to practice gentleness proves that we are spiritually immature and weak. Jesus Himself embodied it (Mat. 11:29; 21:5), and He teaches that His followers win by incorporating it (Mat. 5:5). 

How can you practice gentleness today?

  • When someone who looks up to you or is influenced by you has sinned or done something unwise, temper your response with a loving, pleasant, and kind reaction.
  • When inconvenienced or delayed by someone (at school, on the job, shopping, in traffic), beat back bad temper and force a genuine smile.
  • When your spouse or child disappoints or aggravates you, stop, think, and then show a loving, mild, and lenient response. 
  • When facing incompetence, ignorance, or ineptness, prevent your mouth from criticism, your face from contempt, and your tone from sarcasm. 

Especially when you have an advantage and when others make mistakes of the head rather than the heart, call upon this part of the fruit of the Spirit. To do otherwise is to let the flesh reign (Gal. 5:19-21). Remember, “Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires” (24). 

Gentle To The Gentile Dogs

Dale Pollard

Mark 7.25-29 

“…a woman whose little daughter was possessed by an impure spirit came and fell at his feet. The woman was a Greek, born in Syrian Phoenicia. She begged Jesus to drive the demon out of her daughter. ‘First let the children eat all they want,’ he told her, ‘for it is not right to take the children’s bread and toss it to the little dogs.’ ‘Lord,’ she replied, ‘even the little dogs under the table eat the children’s crumbs.’  Then he told her, ‘For such a reply, you may go; the demon has left your daughter.’”

In the 1st century, many Jews often referred to Gentiles as “dogs” in a very derogatory way. To the Greeks, the word dog meant a “shameless and audacious woman.” The term was used exactly the same way that the worldly use a word meaning “female dog” in the modern era. To the Jews it was equally a term of contempt. 

Jesus did not use the normal word for “dogs” that the Jews used. Instead He softened it into little dogs (v.27) essentially reminding the woman of her place as a Gentile, yet not wanting to push her away. 

“In Greek, diminutives are characteristically affectionate. A diminutive is a suffix which is added to a word to show affection or to indicate that something is small. For example, ‘-ie’ and ‘-ette’ are diminutives,” – (Clarke) 

Today it would be like changing the word “dog” to  “doggie.”

He softened a derogatory term so that she would understand what He was trying to say and not push her away. 

Jesus took the sting out of His words. 

Notice how she responds with acceptance. She refers to herself by using the same word “little dog.” 

If the woman had responded, “Who are you calling a dog?” she would not have received from Jesus what her daughter needed. 

  1. Her humble, 
  2. faith-filled submission to Jesus brought the victory. 

Nothing appealed to our Lord more than faith combined with humility. 

Heb. 12:14 

“Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord.”

If Jesus could avoid conflict— He did. 

Ex: I Peter 2.23 

“who, when He was reviled, did not revile in return; when He suffered, He did not threaten, but committed Himself to Him who judges righteously”

Cure Them With Kindness!

Neal Pollard

A comedienne draws attention for being mean-spirited and cutting when roasting a White House press secretary recently. While cringe-worthy, it’s hardly an isolated incident. Nor is it confined to Washington politics, being seen across the spectrum of society. Civility has taken a beating in the current culture. Social media may be a breeding ground for insults, attacks, hostility, and animosity, but it’s hardly confined to just that forum.

Make no mistake, a lack of kindness is a hallmark of worldliness and unrighteousness. It is the antithesis of a quality God demands of the Christian. Ephesians 4:32 commands, “Be kind to one another….” The original word translated “kind” here is found seven times in the New Testament, and it is a divine quality. In fact, in six of the seven references, God demonstrates it. In Ephesians 4:32, it is to be exhibited by us in view of God’s having shown it to us through Christ. It means “pertaining to that which is pleasant or easy, with the implication of suitability” (Louw 246). It causes no discomfort, meets a high standard of value, is morally good and benevolent, and is beneficent (BDAG 1090). In common usage in New Testament times, the word, when referring to people, was synonymous with being decent, of good disposition, gentle, good-hearted, and morally upright (Kittel 1320). In other words, people in society could and did recognize its presence in people. Its absence is also, sadly, noteworthy. 

The old adage “kill them with kindness” might imply utilizing kindness to get an advantage or revenge on someone unkind, making us look good and them look bad. God calls for something more out of those of us striving to hold up the Light to a dark world. The world is sin-sick, and rude, coarse, hateful attitudes, words and actions are but a symptom of this. We have the medicine the world needs, even if it fails to see its need. Some will be drawn to it when they see it in us. 

Paul counsels Rome with inspired advice that will help us cure the rude, ugly, spiteful, and vicious behavior we often encounter. He says, “Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Respect what is right in the sight of all men. If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men. Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, ‘Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,’ says the Lord. ‘But if your enemy is hungry, feed him, and if he is thirsty, give him a drink; for in so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.’ Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good” (Rom. 12:17-21). Look closely at what he says. Avoid the payback mentality. Go to great lengths to preserve peace. Leave revenge to God. Don’t stoop to the world’s level. 

This imitation of God with revolutionize the places where we practice this. The moral malignancy plaguing our world cries out for medicine, and we as Christians know where to access it. Let’s discipline ourselves to use it, even in the face of those spreading the spiritual sickness of spite. 

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Are We Trampling Upon Romans 14:19?

Neal Pollard

Paul’s words in Romans 14:19 seem to have fallen upon hard times, often among those who are in a position of greater trust and influence. In that particular verse, the apostle is drawing a conclusion about his instructions to Christians, saying, “So then we pursue the things which make for peace and the building up of one another.” We are living at a time where not only is peace not pursued, but strife and division are what are being chased.  We can expect the godless world to be inflammatory, provocative, and disrespectful. We should not expect the precious children of God to interact with each other in this way. Especially through this written medium, here in the information age, we often feel free to make statements we should reasonably expect will upset and divide one another and other onlookers. We may feign shock when the inevitable, virtual fist-fight breaks out, but a few moments of deliberation about the matter would have easily anticipated (and, prayerfully, avoided) it. These words of Paul’s are to presumably mature Christians, sensitive to one who may be “weak” (1) but one who is certainly a “brother” (10). Often, we fixate on the subject matter—“eating meat” or “observing a day”—and on which brother (strong or weak) we are. Those are the illustrations. Beneath the issues, there are timeless principles we must strive to follow.

  • None of us lives for himself, and not one dies for himself (7).  This is the principle of INFLUENCE.
  • We will all stand before the judgment seat of God (10,12). This is the principle of ACCOUNTABILITY.
  • Do not destroy… him for whom Christ died (15b). This is the principle of BROTHERLY LOVE.
  • The kingdom of God is…righteousness and joy and peace in the Holy Spirit (17). This is the principle of SPIRITUALITY.
  • He who in this way serves Christ is acceptable to God and approved by men (18). This is the principle of RIGHTEOUSNESS.
  • Do not tear down the work of God (20). This is the principle of WISDOM.

There are further observations we could make from this context, but these are enough to give us pause to consider (a) what we choose to say which might inflame the sensitivities of others and (b) how we interact with each other in discussing any matter.  What do we hope to gain that we would risk something so precious and valuable to God as a brother or sister in Christ? Do we wish to bring out the best or worst in others.  Let us take care not to slaughter kindness, consideration, gentleness, and brotherly love on the altar of things “which give rise to speculation rather than furthering the administration of God which is by faith” (1 Tim. 1:4) or “worldly and empty chatter” (1 Tim. 6:20).

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FORGOTTEN FRUIT

Neal Pollard

Paul especially urges a particular quality that seems rarer these days. However, this is not a trait disappearing only with those in the world, but one that seems harder for us who claim to be disciples of Christ. He uses a word in Galatians 5:23, Ephesians 4:2, Colossians 3:12, and 1 Timothy 6:11, among others—James does, too (1:21; 3:13). The word, πραΰτης, means “gentleness of attitude and behavior, in contrast with harshness in one’s dealings with others” (Louw-Nida, Greek-English Lexicon, 1996, n. pag.). They suggest the word includes “always speaking softly to or not raising one’s voice” (ibid.). Another Lexicon, in defining the word, speaks to what may prevent one demonstrating gentleness, namely “…being overly impressed by a sense of one’s self-importance” (Arndt, Danker, et al, 2000, n. pag.). Yet, surely there are other impediments to our bearing the fruit of gentleness.

We struggle to be gentle, don’t we?

  • With our children’s weaknesses and mistakes.
  • When responding to our spouse, whether in impatience or aggravation.
  • With rude fellow-shoppers, incompetent cashiers, or pokey or inattentive drivers.
  • Being at odds with a brother or sister in Christ in a clash of personalities or purposes.
  • Having thoughtless or rude neighbors.
  • Engaging in a disagreement with a faceless, nominal acquaintance on social media.
  • Dealing with customer service, especially if we get an ESL representative.

This is just a sampling of situations which tempt us to abandon a gentle spirit. Aristotle called this quality “the middle standing between two extremes, getting angry without reason…and not getting angry at all” (Zhodiates, Dictionary, 2000, n. pag.). The New Testament does not tell the Christian that we cannot defend ourselves, protect our rights, or get what we pay for, for example. But, in addressing concerns, needs, and problems, how we do this makes all the difference.

For many of us, gentleness needs to be intentional. It doesn’t come naturally.  We need to pray about it, prepare ourselves for it, and practice it. Our passion needs to be harnessed. Our speech needs to be tempered. Just making the need for gentleness a conscious priority in our lives will greatly improve our performance, with family, friends, brethren, and strangers. It is a powerful tool to win hearts and shape lives, beginning with our own.

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