She sits alone in an empty house, the TV her only companion, Her children grown, her husband gone, she feels deserted, abandoned. A visitor who brings a cheery smile and sits, to spend some time together. Breaks up the clouds of isolation, and brings her sunny weather.
A family is seeking for community, they step inside our door, Their faith unshaped, their search intense, they know there must be more. The experience is new, they feel uncertain, how will they be received? Warmth and connection will influence if the gospel is believed.
A teenager who lives in a virtual world, unsure and insecure, A room full of peers can’t undo their feeling lonely and unsure. Purpose and identity are still being shaped and formed, Fear and insecurity can be expelled if those peers are kind and warm.
It is not good for man to be alone, God said from the beginning, Before He made us He had a thought both wise and also winning. “The church,” He said, “will be a place where my wisdom will be known,” He paid for it with His dear Son, made a people of His own.
Within that church a fellowship, where lives are shared completely, Where hearts are touched and lives are filled so fully and so sweetly. The world’s a cold and lonely place, and life brings pain and sorrow, We need each other yesterday, today, and still tomorrow.
Kathy and I very recently discovered an interesting show produced by the History Channel, and the title of the series is “Alone.” It is a “reality show” (not usually a fan of those), but it involves survival experts dropped, alone, in the middle of nowhere. They get to take ten items of their choice to help them battle predators, the elements, and, most of all, isolation. Food, water, shelter, and fire top their priorities, but even having these cannot prevent the maddening monotony of being deprived of human companionship.
I love the way Solomon says it in the book of Ecclesiastes. “Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken” (4:9-12, NLT, emph. mine). At the very beginning, God made it clear that it isn’t good for man to be alone (Gen. 2:18). Alone one is in trouble, in the cold, and in danger. It is not good for us.
The survivalists on the show figure that out. So does the person, even with people all around them, who keep themselves in isolation. Think of all the ways God combats our loneliness.
He gives us marriage (Gen. 2:18; 1 Cor. 11:9).
He gives us children (Psa. 127:3-5).
He gives us the church (Eph. 2:19).
He gives us the assemblies (Heb. 10:24-25).
He gives us fellowship (Acts 2:42).
He gives us hospitality (Rom. 12:10,13).
He gives us counselors and mentors (Prov. 15:22; 24:6; Ti. 2:3-4).
He gives us the aged (Lev. 19:32; 1 Tim. 5:1).
He gives us shepherds (Acts 20:28).
Life is difficult for the person determined to go it alone! We are left with our thoughts, which may or may not be accurate reflections of reality or at least the whole picture (Prov. 18:17). We are deprived of the very resources God has given to help us successfully overcome life’s challenges. It is an easy habit to get into to withdraw from the company of others, but it is not healthy! We need others, and, just as much, they need us!
The guys on the reality show voluntarily go it alone for money and notoriety, but, even with that incentive, the loneliness gets unbearable. For us, the prize and reward does not require us to cloister ourselves. It requires the opposite! May we never choose to be alone, when we have so many tools supplied by God to survive the challenges of this life.
“Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” was featured in the 1944 movie Meet Me in St. Louis. Judy Garland was the original performer. I will provide the song’s setting without spoiling the film since it is pertinent to our topic.
Circumstances cause the family patriarch depicted within the film to declare that the family is moving to New York. He is alone in wanting to make such a move. Everyone else is content to stay in their current hometown, especially with the upcoming World’s Fair that St. Louis will be hosting in 1904.
The youngest daughter, Tootie, took the news especially hard. Judy Garland’s character, Esther, tries to console Tootie by singing, “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas.” The original lyrics, which you’ve likely not heard unless you’ve watched the movie or listened to an older cover of the song, were “Until then, we’ll have to muddle through somehow.” Garland also sang, “Next year, all our troubles will be out of sight.”1
We can credit Frank Sinatra for changing a melancholy Christmas song into a happier one. He told the song’s writer, Hugh Martin, in 1957 that his album was called “A Jolly Christmas.” So, he asked the songwriter if he could “jolly up” that line for him. The songwriter obliged, changing the lyric to “Hang a shining star atop the highest bough.” “Next year…” likewise became “From now on all our troubles will be out of sight.”2
We cannot say that every Christmas season is as great as those experienced in our youth. As we get older, economics impact our celebrations. We take note of those missing. Perhaps, we no longer have good health. Or an every-hundred-year-pandemic might decide to come along and interfere with our plans. For those Christmases, we must “muddle through somehow.”
At least one time in David’s life found him “unmerry” from life’s circumstances. And David likewise had to muddle through until things could get better. This occasion was when David was fleeing for his life because of his son Absalom’s political coup. David and his retainers found themselves in a position where they were “hungry and weary and thirsty in the wilderness.” (2 Samuel 17.29 NASB1995) What David did during this muddling remains an example for those finding it difficult to be joyous today.
First, David did not isolate himself, having the company of his retinue (2 Samuel 17.22). People tend to isolate themselves when depressed. But it is not the isolation causing difficulties. It is the resulting loneliness often found in isolation. People may think they are all alone in the world or that the world is against them. God said it is not good to be thus isolated (Genesis 2.18; Ecclesiastes 4.9-12). So, reach out to others, if necessary, since the assistance others give enables them to fulfill Christ’s law (Galatians 6.2).
Second, David accepted the kindness of others (2 Samuel 17.27-29). I do not think it an exaggeration to say David could not have defeated Absalom without the aid of such people. Christians must be kind and tender-hearted to one another (Ephesians 4.32; Colossians 3.12-15; 1 Peter 3.8). And since we must extend such love and kindness to others, we must learn to receive these same overtures in return. That seems to be tricky for some people to realize. Muddling through is easier with brethren!
Third, David wisely used his time of muddling (2 Samuel 18.1ff). David counts the number of able-bodied men with him who could fight. Then, he divides them into companies and appoints men over thousands and hundreds. The result, of course, was an army capable of battling Absalom. Despite resulting in the death of Absalom, the battle ensured that David could return to Jerusalem. His muddling days were over. In like manner, perhaps now is not an excellent time for us; we are muddling through life. But do what you can, with what you have, where you are. During these difficult times, the plans you make may result in a later victory.
So, as others seem to be having “…the Most Wonderful Time of the Year,” you may find yourself unable to experience that coveted merry time. Emulate David’s example. If you see a family member or friend muddling through, ensure they are not lonely, providing them whatever aid is needed. In so doing, may we all note, Lord willing, that “Next year, all our troubles will be out of sight.”
2 Willman, Chris. “How ‘Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas’ Became One of the Season’s Most Beloved Songs.” EW.com, Meredith Corporation, 22 Dec. 2006, ew.com/article/2007/01/08/history-popular-holiday-song/. Updated December 23, 2020
It was in one of the lowest points in his life that David finds himself hiding in a cave praying to God. He says, “With my voice I cry out to the Lord; with my voice I plead for mercy to the Lord” (Psa. 142:1).
David describes the circumstances that have caused him to feel discouraged. He says in verse 4, “Look to the right and see: there is none who takes notice of me; no refuge remains to me; no one cares for my soul.”
How often do we find ourselves feeling this same way? It could be the people we work with that don’t see the value of our Christianity. It could be friends at school pushing us to break our Christian values. It could even be our own families that don’t care for our souls.
David felt the loneliness of desertion with his own son, he felt betrayal from Saul, and he even willfully separated himself from God when he went after Bathsheba.
Many times we find ourselves in the cave. It could be that outside circumstances have put us there, or we sinned and are feeling the consequences of those choices.
Put yourself in his shoes, hiding in a dark, desolate and damp cave feeling alone and deserted by everyone. Everyone except God. David never lost sight of God, and he knew that God would answer his prayer.
When we find ourselves in the dark, feeling deserted and alone, don’t lose sight of God. He will never turn His back on a struggling Christian. He cares for your soul.
Human connections are necessary. Though stated in the context of needing a mate comparable unto himself, God nevertheless said of man it wasn’t good for him to be alone (Genesis 2.18). Thus, God provided Adam with Eve. Elsewhere, the wise man of God reminds us of the advantages of having companions:
Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up. Furthermore, if two lie down together they keep warm, but how can one be warm alone? And if one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart. (Ecclesiastes 4.9-12 NASB)
Hence, even if being around many people wearies our soul, we admit it’s a blessing to have those precious few upon whom we can depend to be there for us when we emerge from our solitude.
Jesus had His close companions. We don’t doubt He loved all those men He chose to be His apostles, but He singled out Peter, James, and John to be His “inner circle.” They were His confidants. It was to these three alone He shared His true glory (Matthew 17.1ff). Peter, James, and John also went further into the Garden of Gethsemane with Jesus as He prayed (Mark 14.32-35). In addition, John refers to himself throughout the Gospel he was inspired to pen as “the disciple whom the Lord loved” (John 21.20). This same passage also shows us that John leaned against the Lord during the last Passover (Can you imagine?).
God never intended us to face life alone. As mentioned previously, God provided the foundation for the family in the very beginning. The family has often been called the “bedrock of society.” Aristotle wrote in Politics that humans organized themselves first in families that birthed villages which, in turn, gave rise to the polis (i.e. city-state). As we live in a world into which sin was welcomed, we understand people bound to us, even by ties of blood, may betray or abandon us. We see, then, the wisdom of God in giving to us the church.
It’s a sad paradox in a world of virtual, perpetual interconnectedness people feel lonelier than ever. The HRSA reveals that loneliness and social isolation is as bad for one’s health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day! 1 Just type in the words “loneliness epidemic” in a search engine and see what pops up. This isn’t a problem just for our seasoned citizens either. 2 There’s no excuse for the child of God to be lonely, however. Christ instituted the church to be God’s Household on earth (Ephesians 2.19). If we assemble as we ought, we will be stirred to love and the performance of good works (Hebrews 10.24-25). Furthermore, we encourage and build up one another in the church (1 Thessalonians 5.11; Ephesians 4.15-16).
Yes, we’re currently facing a global epidemic not physical in nature. It’s a disease of the heart perpetuated by loneliness, which focuses one’s attention inward on troubles and wants. God didn’t create you to be alone. Dismiss the foolish notion that the church is for the weak and embrace the strength it supplies the lonely heart. You’ll never find an app that can do for you what the church can.
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