Category: fathers

Fighting For Our Fathers

Dale Pollard

Nebuchadnezzar became a beast in some form or fashion because of his pride in Daniel 4. Oddly enough we find out that his grandson, Belshazzar, falls into the same sinful snare in the very next chapter. This makes for more than an interesting story because it serves as an example of a common thread within scripture. The phrase “like father, like son” rings true in a negative way more often than not. It’s surprising to read of the many heroes of the faith who were failures as fathers. It’s almost disheartening to discover that it’s more common to find stories of poor parenting than successful ones. As tragic as these accounts are, it’s a blessing to have and learn from them. Let’s look into a few of these examples. 

Lot (Genesis 19.6-8)

Lot not only chose to pitch his tent outside of Sin City (Gen.13.12), he eventually moved his family into Sodom as well. In chapter 19 we read, “So Lot went out to them through the doorway, shut the door behind him, and said, ‘Please, my brethren, do not do so wickedly! See now, I have two daughters who have not known a man; please, let me bring them out to you, and you may do to them as you wish; only do nothing to these men, since this is the reason they have come under the shadow of my roof’” (6-8). Not long after these shocking verses, Lot’s remaining daughters take advantage of him in a cave after being saved from Sodom. Clearly Lot wasn’t a great father. 

ISAAC (Genesis 25)

Isaac loved Esau because he ate of his game, but Rebekah loved Jacob (Gen.25.28). Favoritism among parents is not uncommon to read about in scripture but this never seems to work out in the end. Issac was a weak father in other areas as well. He marries a deceptive wife and fails to rule his family in a God-fearing way. 

JACOB (GENESIS 37)

Like father, like son. Jacob shows favoritism towards Joseph and because of this we read the following, 

“Now Israel loved Joseph more than any of his other sons because he had been born to him in his old age, and he made an ornate robe for him. When his brothers saw that their father loved him more than any of them, they hated him and could not speak a kind word to him” (Gen. 37.3-4). 

ELI (I SAMUEL 2.22-25)

“Now Eli was very old, and he heard everything his sons did to all of Israel, and how they lay with the women who assembled at the door of the tabernacle of meeting. So he said to them, “Why do you do such things? For I hear of your evil dealings from all the people. No, my sons! For it is not a good report that I hear. You make the Lord’s people transgress… Nevertheless, they did not heed the voice of their father, because the Lord desired to kill them” (22-25b) 

Eli was a priest at Shiloh, but he was a pitiful parent. His sons, Hophni and Phineas, were allowed to make sacrifices to the Lord but they were known among the community as acting extremely wickedly. They fornicated with women in the tabernacle and stole sacrificial meats from the people. So horrible were they that the Israelites began to “abhor the sacrifices to the Lord” (v.17). 

Young Samuel, who was being raised by Eli in the temple, receives a vision from God who says that He is going to destroy Eli’s boys, but Eli’s response to this news is rather flippant. He says, “the Lord will do what is right according to Him.” Sure enough, the prophecy plays out exactly as God said it would and Eli ends up dying upon hearing of it in I Samuel 4. 

Sadly, Samuel turns out to be a failure as a father as well as the king, David, that he anoints. 

While these accounts aren’t uplifting to read, they serve as humbling warnings to fathers today. If you want to be a faithful father, you’re going to have to fight for it. 

Lessons From Concerned Fathers

Brent Pollard

Let us delve into the depths of a father’s concern as we reflect on the sacred role of fatherhood, drawing inspiration from the stories of four fathers in Scripture. We learn profound lessons about love, leadership, redemption, and our children’s spiritual well-being from their experiences.

Let us start with the most unfavorable example: Eli. Eli is more concerned with his position and its trappings than his relationship with his sons. Eli never restrained his sons despite their blasphemy and sexual immorality. The writer of Hebrews reminds us that a father’s discipline indicates a relationship (Hebrews 12.4–11). According to the implication, only illegitimate (i.e., unloved) children are left undisciplined. Though we don’t know Eli’s heart, we must question his love for his sons by allowing them to be unruly. 

Eli may have become more enamored with his position’s prestige than fatherhood’s benefits (cf. Psalm 127.3-5). He habitually sat on an elevated seat near the Tabernacle’s entrance (1 Samuel 1.9). As Sigmund Freud might have suggested, his elevated platform could represent how he wished others to see him or how he viewed himself. 

God didn’t like it because it demonstrated Eli’s desire for glory that belonged only to God. Thus, God had had enough of Eli and his sons and sent an unnamed prophet and the young Samuel to inform Eli of his and his family’s demise. The news that caused Eli to fall from his elevated seat on the day his sons died in fulfillment of prophecy was not the deaths of his sons but that the Philistines had taken the Ark of the Covenant (1 Samuel 4.18). 

Even if a man is serving God, he must prioritize the well-being of his children. The father’s concern should be the nurturing and admonition of the Lord (Ephesians 6.4), not the trappings of success or status.

Moving on, we encounter the mighty King David, a man after God’s heart (1 Samuel 13.14; Acts 13.22). David teaches us to strike a balance between love and obligation. He accomplishes this by showing concern for his traitorous son Absalom, who is unworthy of such consideration. This misplaced concern caused David to lose sight of his responsibility to his loyal subjects, who had defended David and his family from patricide and regicide.

This display did not sit well with General Joab. Note 2 Samuel 19.5-7.

Then Joab came into the house to the king and said, “Today you have covered with shame the faces of all your servants, who today have saved your life and the lives of your sons and daughters, the lives of your wives, and the lives of your concubines, by loving those who hate you, and by hating those who love you. For you have shown today that princes and servants are nothing to you; for I know this day that if Absalom were alive and all of us were dead today, then you would be pleased. Now therefore arise, go out and speak kindly to your servants, for I swear by the Lord, if you do not go out, surely not a man will pass the night with you, and this will be worse for you than all the evil that has come upon you from your youth until now.” (NASB95)

While David’s affection for Absalom was undeniable, his leadership suffered as a result, and his devoted followers bore the brunt of the consequences. Fathers must strike a delicate balance of love, responsibility, and obligation. Most fathers may never know the weight of a crown, but all fathers must learn to show compassion without sacrificing justice and to extend forgiveness while maintaining accountability.

Job is our next father. Job exemplifies proper concern for one’s children’s spiritual well-being. Job constantly offered sacrifices on his children’s behalf in case they had sinned (Job 1.5). Job recognized the significance of their spiritual journey and interceded on their behalf before God. Fathers should model Job by encouraging their children’s spiritual development alongside their physical growth. Oh, if all fathers were as concerned about their children!

Finally, we should mention the ideal father, the prodigal’s father (Luke 15.11ff). In the story, the father genuinely cares about his son. This care reveals this father’s unconditional love and allows the prodigal son to find redemption. We see the unfathomable love of a father in this parable. Every father should try to live up to this standard. 

Although his son had squandered his inheritance and caused him great pain, the prodigal father’s concern outweighed his pain. His heart was overflowing with unconditional love and longing for his errant child. Indeed, this father demonstrates that a perfect father’s love knows no bounds, and redemption is always available. We thank God that this Father is also our heavenly Father. 

As we conclude these reflections, let us embrace the complex concern that these biblical fathers demonstrated. Fathers should prioritize meaningful connections with their children, devoting time and effort to nurturing and disciplining them. Let them remember that love and obligation can coexist and that they can lead their families with grace and accountability. Above all, fathers should model the unconditional love of the Heavenly Father by cultivating an environment of redemption, forgiveness, and spiritual growth.

May God give fathers the strength to prioritize their children’s spiritual well-being, interceding on their behalf, directing them toward righteousness, and empowering them to model His love, compassion, and wisdom in their homes. 

My Father, From An Early Age

Neal Pollard

My father, from an early age you taught me to be true,
But when I wavered on what that was, I could always look at you.

You taught me how the Lord comes first at work, at school, at play
But how much easier that became when you practiced that each day.

Dear child, I may not perfectly that narrow path traversed
But when you see me fail, dear child, I pray I will reverse

For fathers come, they teach us much, and character is fashioned
By what we think and say and do, by each prayer and passion

Dear Father, help me teach my children to walk in holy ways
But let me do that by my living, I have but a fleeting, few days

May Your lessons, Lord, they come to learn at my feet of clay,
Instill a faith that will survive ’til they get to the Judgment Day.

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Proud Of My Father 

Dale Pollard

I was cleaning out the basement and found a box of old photos. You know the kind of photos I’m talking about. Cheesy, dated, and awkward family photos. There was a reason we had them hidden in the darkest corner of our house. They weren’t worthy to be put on display, but they were also too precious to merely throw away. As I flipped through them, I stumbled across some ancient photos of my dad. In one picture he had an afro and this corny smile on his face. In another picture, my dad was standing by an old pickup truck wearing a long and baggy cut-off T- shirt. He had 80’s frame glasses on with large lenses, and a truckers hat that barely sat on his head.

To most people, those were embarrassing pictures. To most people, those were things that I should hang my head in shame over. But you know, all I felt was pride. I was so proud of who I came from, and as weird as he looked, I sat there defending his fashion choices in my mind. I’m proud to be the grandson of a preacher and the son of a preacher. But, there is nothing that fills me with more pride than the fact that I am a child of God.

There are so many reasons that I’m proud of that fact, but here is the main reason… because He loves me more than I deserve. Our sins put Christ on the cross. It was my sin problem that made Jesus cry out in agony, “My God, My God, why have You forsaken me?” (Matt. 27:46). When we commit sin, we are participating in the very thing that Christ came to die for. And yet, despite all of that, my God loves me. My Father has still taken me in. He has shown unconditional love, a love stronger than any mortal could show. My Heavenly Father has offered salvation, the forgiveness of sins, and a hope of eternal glory.

I’m proud to be a child of God.

Dale is the associate minister of the Forrest Park church of Christ in Valdosta, Georgia. 

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“The Island Where Men Are Disappearing”

Neal Pollard

About one quarter of the men on Old Providence Island are gone, and in many cases their families have no idea where they are. They are not vanishing into thin air. These Caribbean islanders are excellent mariners, and, being technically part of the country of Colombia and lying off the coast of Nicaragua, they have been swept into the net of drug trafficking. Very often, they are hired as pilots of “narco-speedboats.” If they successfully deliver their load, they make thousands of dollars. If they fail, they go to jail.  Old Providence veteran journalist, Ampara Ponton, says, “There are families where the great-grandfather, grandfather, father and son are imprisoned” (via BBC.COM).

The impact of these “vanishing” husbands and fathers is incalculable. Children grow up without having a daddy to train, guide, and provide an example for them. Wives are deprived of helpmeets.

This mirrors a figurative epidemic that has been in place in many cultures, not only in our day but in days gone by.  One derogatory term for this is “deadbeat dads,” those who sire children but are uninvolved, physically, spiritually, emotionally, and financially, in their lives. This dysfunctional model spreads its influence in society causing further dysfunction.

Yet, too many homes have men who are physically present but spiritually absent.  They do not provide spiritual guidance, do not study or model the Bible, never pray in their family’s hearing, show no interest in or commitment to the way of the Lord, and prioritize one or several things before the kingdom of God and His righteousness.  These have not technically disappeared, but they are spiritually invisible.

We cannot forget who God holds most responsible for the direction of the home.  Asaph says God told the fathers to tell their children about God and His work (Psalm 78). Fathers are to bring up children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord (Eph. 6:4). In both testaments, God commands fathers’ presence, making right and lasting impressions upon their families.  Husbands and fathers, let’s do our best to be present and impactful in the lives of our families as faithful stewards of this charge. Eternity hinges upon it!