Tag: smartphone

Three Things That Will Rebuild Healthy Communication

Internet technology in all its forms has become such a helpful aid in so many instances. But as with every blessing, Satan stands ready to use it to undermine relationships, destroy community and civility, and wield it to wreak havoc on our mental, social, and spiritual health.

Neal Pollard

In 2024, Jonathan Haidt, a social psychologist and professor at NYU, wrote The Anxious Generation: How The Great Rewiring Of Childhood Is Causing An Epidemic Of Mental Illness. While the book is written from a secular, evolutionary world view, it is incredibly insightful and masterfully observant of an extremely troublesome transformation many of us see happening in our world. An entire generation has reached maturity having known and used only smartphones and tablets, consuming the readily available and easily accessible contents of their virtual smorgasbord. This has radically reformed communication at the most basic levels.

Haidt points to four epidemic issues accompanying the mass retreat into the virtual world of a phone-based (versus real life) communication. Online communication is characterized by :

  • Being asynchronous–Not in real-time; Delayed (Building anxiety as one wonders why the other is silent or non-responsive)
  • Lack of embodied signals–Emojis and likes instead of facial expressions and body language (an inadequate substitution)
  • Performative interaction–Posts that perform, project perfection, and are artificial instead of honest, genuine intimacy.
  • Social comparison–Interaction built on comparison which devastates one’s own self-esteem and self-worth

In so many cases, we have lost the ability to communicate and build authentic relationships “here in the real world.” What Haidt suggests for Gen Z will actually help us all, from the oldest living generation down. This technological world, with all its benefits, has assaulted our communication skills.

Practice Face-To-Face Communication. Opt for the face-to-face, or at least the phone call, rather than relying on chats, text messages, and other communication that is not occurring in real time. Think of how much of what God has created us for in this world requires real-time interaction–evangelism, worship, marriage, childrearing, friendship, correction, etc. Biblical passages and principles assume the give and take of people in the same space talking and listening to each other. As the One who made us, He knows how we best operate (Eph. 4:29).

Put Away The Phone. It is simple and seems like eminently common sense, but because our phones are addictive (Haidt and others provide crushingly incontrovertible proof) we lean on them like crutches. Real-time, real connection requires full presence and complete attention to the person in front of us. Conversation and communication can be difficult and requires intentionality, at best, and the massive distraction of our devices fairly cripples our ability to courteously, thoughtfully value the one with whom we’re interacting.

Postpone Online Responses. My wife enacted a policy several years ago to answer social media messages only once per day, early each morning. Her logic is that before the advent of the internet, people had to wait for returned phone calls, snail mail letters, and face-to-face conversation. We’ve become such instant gratification junkies, wanting and needing to stay connected constantly. Ironically, we tend and nurture these virtual communications to the neglect of people we know well in our everyday lives. Do we have to answer those texts (all 50 of them) this very minute? Or can (should) it wait?

Internet technology in all its forms has become such a helpful aid in so many instances. But as with every blessing, Satan stands ready to use it to undermine relationships, destroy community and civility, and wield it to wreak havoc on our mental, social, and spiritual health. Perhaps investing in a bit of old-fashioned, real-life communication skills can help us stem the tide of our massive crisis in connection.

“Nomophobia” 

Monday’s Column: Neal at the Cross

pollard

Neal Pollard

That’s not a typo for another popularly-used term.  It’s actually a “thing,” at least according to a 2010 study by the UK Post Office.  It is short for “no-mobile-phone phobia” (Tim Elmore, psychologytoday.com). There’s even a website called nomophobia.com, and they identify “the four fears of Nomophobia”—broken, lost, stolen, or useless smartphones. While that site operates “tongue in cheek,” there are a bevy of experts more than ready to talk about how this is an epidemic impacting especially youth in our culture.  University of Connecticut School of Medicine’s Dr. David Greenfield has done much work in this study. He points to the problem of a dysregulation of dopamine, “meaning that it motivates people to do things they think will be rewarded for doing” (clever, cutting, or flamboyant Tweets, posts, pics, etc.) and that it can foster people’s addiction to the internet and technology (Madeline Stone, businessinsider.com). Greenfield adds, “That feeling you’re going to miss something if you’re not constantly checking is an illusion — most parts of our lives are not relevant to our smartphones. What happens on our devices is not reflective of what happens in real life” (ibid.).  There are even digital detox programs, in the United States as well as other countries around the world.  Psychiatrist Dale Archer gives this advice, “Stop texting while you’re driving. Don’t take it into the bathroom with you. Have a rule not to use your phone when you’re with your friends. If you’re on a date, make a rule that you’ll both check your phone for a maximum of 5 minutes every 90 minutes. It’s all about setting simple rules that you can follow” (ibid.).

Amateur psychiatrists and specialists everywhere can quickly diagnose this condition in their spouses and significant others, their children, and their friends, but they may be myopic to their own inordinate practice (see every airport, doctor’s office, restaurant, etc.).  Addiction to, or at least habitual abuse of, smartphones and similar technology is simply the latest and a more obvious example of a long-standing human tendency.  Paul told Corinth, “All things are lawful for me, but not all things are profitable. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be mastered by anything” (1 Cor. 6:12). In context, Paul is beginning a discussion of the sin of fornication after having talked about Corinth’s generally sinful past from which they had been forgiven.  Paul’s desire was not to be “mastered” (ruled, reigned over, Louw 37.48) by anything.  He later writes about the self-mastery and discipline necessary to live the Christian life (1 Cor. 9:24-27).

Cell phones are just one possible impediment to this.  There are so many other possibilities we must keep aware of, things which can derail us from our purpose and focus in this life.  So many of them are fine in balance and moderation, but we can allow them to consume and even overtake us.  A fear of being without those things is only one of the attending problems.  Being ruled by anything or anyone other than Christ is the overriding concern.  We are all served well by looking carefully at the things in our lives and make sure we have no master other than Christ.