Category: complaining

Before You Complain…

Is murmuring and complaining one of those things that only other people do? Is this a sin “good” people commit? If so, does that make it harder to diagnose and destroy? Consider some thoughts on grumbling….

Neal Pollard

  • Think about the spiritual company you would be keeping (Luke 5:30; John 6:41).
  • Think about how it sounds to others (Phil. 2:14-16).
  • Think about how it spreads to others and what it does to others (Num. 14:36).
  • Think about what it does to you (John 6:61).
  • Think about what it does to your heart (Luke 15:2; 19:7).
  • Think about what it does to your soul (Gal. 5:20-21).
  • Think about what it does to our community and world (2 Tim. 3:2).
  • Think about how empty and unproductive it is (Psa. 106:25; Matt. 20:11).
  • Think about your influence (Heb. 13:17;
  • Think about how ungrateful it is (Num. 14:11).
  • Think about how it undoes even the good that you do (1 Pet. 4:9; Phil. 2:14).
  • Think about how God responds to it (Jas. 5:9; 1 Cor. 10:10).

“Do all things without grumbling or disputing; so that you will prove yourselves to be blameless and innocent, children of God above reproach in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you appear as lights in the world, holding fast the word of life, so that in the day of Christ I will have reason to glory because I did not run in vain nor toil in vain” (Philippians 2:14-16).

Stop Complaining!

Carl Pollard

 Very rarely do people seek out complainers to be their friend. It can be a challenge to spend any length of time around that person who is constantly grumbling and complaining about everything. At the same time, becoming a chronic complainer isn’t all that hard. Our society is filled with discontent people. Everyone has complaints. It seems that the more we are blessed the more we complain. Why are we so quick to complain? It’s human nature, but society still labels this as a negative trait. 

I read a story about a cowboy that was driving down a dirt road, his dog riding in back of the pickup truck, his horse in the trailer behind. He failed to negotiate a curve and had a terrible accident. Sometime later, a highway patrol officer came on the scene.

The officer saw the horse first. Seeing how badly hurt it was, he drew his revolver and put the animal out of his misery. He walked around the accident and found the dog, also hurt critically. He hated to see it in so much pain, so he ended the dog’s suffering as well.

Finally he located the cowboy –who suffered multiple fractures–off in the weeds. “Hey, are you okay?” the cop asked. 

The cowboy took one look at the smoking revolver in the trooper’s hand and quickly replied, “Never felt better!”

Sometimes it’s in our best interest to keep our complaints to ourselves. Mark twain once said, “Don’t complain and talk about all your problems–80 percent of people don’t care; the other 20 percent will think you deserve them.” Problem is, it can be difficult to refrain from complaining. We want sympathy, we desire compassion, often we don’t even realize when we complain. 

I used to think I wasn’t a chronic complainer, which is true to an extent. I made a mental note of how many times I said something negative in a day…and well here’s an article that hopefully will help you as well as me. 

Maybe you struggle with being negative; honestly I believe we all complain to a certain extent. In Philippians 2:14-16 Paul writes this letter as a call for unity in the church at Philippi. Right off the bat he starts talking about how blessed he is…to be in prison. He acknowledges his dire circumstances, but even after being wrongly imprisoned for 4 years, all he talks about is the gift he has been given to suffer for the cause of Christ. 

If anyone had the right to complain, Paul had every right in our eyes. Why does Paul say all of this? 

In chapter 2 he tells us to imitate the mind of Christ. Followed immediately by 14-16, “Do all things without grumbling or disputing, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, holding fast to the word of life, so that in the day of Christ I may be proud that I did not run in vain or labor in vain.” 

According to Paul, it is impossible for us to focus on the will of God if all we do is grumble and complain. How can we keep our eye on the example of Christ if all we do is talk about everything that is wrong. 

I know our country is a mess, the church as a whole is divided, and people are more self-centered than ever. But, and I say this kindly, “who cares?” God has given us His Son, the gift of eternal life, and a family. I know there is a lot to complain about, but ultimately God cannot use us if thats all we do. There are a couple of key words mentioned in the text that we need to define. “Grumbling” the Greek word literally means, “utterances made in a low tone of voice.” Context defines whether these are satisfied or dissatisfied grumbles. The way Paul uses it is in a negative light. Also known as “murmuring.” “Complaining” (disputing) is a word that is best translated as arguing or disputing. 

So, Paul tells us to do all things without complaining and arguing. God expects us to be a joyful people. And we have no excuse! Let’s stop complaining.

The Right Way To Complain

Brent Pollard

In the biblical account found in Joshua 17:14-18, the tribes of Ephraim and Manasseh approached Joshua with a genuine concern – the land allotted to them was insufficient for their needs. Unlike the previous generation, which perished in the wilderness due to chronic discontent, Ephraim and Manasseh exhibited a more constructive approach to addressing their grievances.

While they voiced complaints, they did not falsely accuse God of unfairness. Instead, they brought their valid concerns to Joshua, the divinely appointed leader guiding them toward their inheritance. This shift in attitude demonstrates a willingness to collaborate openly in seeking resolutions rather than dwelling on discontentment.

Their situation highlights a fundamental societal issue—the insatiable desire for more, whether physical resources or the perceived potential for tremendous success. Despite receiving their fair share, people often seek to expand their holdings, driven by never being fully satisfied. However, Ephraim and Manasseh’s complaints differed from typical expressions of discontent.

Referred to as “instrumental complaints,” their grievances served as a platform for constructive problem-solving rather than merely voicing dissatisfaction. They rationally assessed their circumstances and sought viable solutions to ensure their prosperity and security. Their complaint transcended a mere display of discontent, becoming a crucial step toward safeguarding their legacy.

Rather than rebuking them, Joshua redirected their focus from negatives to positives. He acknowledged their military strength due to their sizable population. He reminded the tribes they had permission to clear the forested areas in their inheritance for agriculture and city construction. Ultimately, the only impediment was not a lack of resources but a deficiency in their resolve to carry out God’s will.

This account provides valuable insights into the appropriate way to voice grievances constructively:

  1. Identify the problem by fully understanding the issue rather than reacting emotionally.
  2. Seek solutions by considering potential improvements or resolutions before complaining.
  3. As Joshua showed Ephraim and Manasseh, be prepared to participate in the solution—solving problems often requires personal effort.

By following this approach of identifying issues, seeking solutions, and contributing to resolutions, we can learn from Ephraim and Manasseh’s example and voice grievances constructively, avoiding the pitfalls of chronic complaining, unproductive venting, and dwelling on discontentment.

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Four Ways To Simply Feel Better About Life

Tuesday’s Column: Dale Mail

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Dale Pollard

God wants you to succeed and He can’t wait to see you. 

Alright, take a deep breath and let’s dive into an ocean of hope for a few minutes. 

If you’re a member of the Lord’s church you can probably think of at least one person who is able to keep a smile on his or her face and a tune on their lips, even when everything in their life seems to be going horribly wrong. 

We might be tempted to think, “I must be one horrible Christian because I can tell you now, I’d never be that joyful under such circumstances.” 

It may seem unnatural or even out of reach for everybody to live their lives just like that but we can’t forget their secret. 

The “magic” is all happening on the inside. 

God has transformed the heart and spirit of that person, and the effects of this are seen when you spot that smile on their face and see their head carried high. You’ll also be able to hear the effect–evidence in conversations with these inspiring people because they tend to direct your attention to God by giving Him all the glory and credit for their peaceful state of mind. Do you have the desire to be that kind of person? I’m assuming you do. Who wouldn’t want this supernatural ability? 

Our lives are a roller coaster ride of emotions and situations of all kinds and the worst state to find yourself is the dreaded “slump.” You know you’re in a slump when you can’t seem to find the motivation to be happy or even allow a peaceful or cheerful thought to linger in your brain. 

Let’s take a quick gander at Philippians 2:14-15 and then dive right into those four ways to feel better about life.

“Do all things without grumbling or questioning, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world.”

This verse may make us think, “easier said than done!” (especially if you’re currently in the slump) but let’s look at it from another perspective. 

When we look a wee closer at this verse we see at least four juicy nuggets of hope.

We could imply that– 

1. Your attitude can change (no grumbling!) 

2. Your speech can change (no grumbling or questioning!) 

3. Your demeanor can physically change (like innocent children) 

4. Your mindset can change (shining lights) 

The key word is in bold in each of these four areas. This CAN happen, but we’ll need to take a visit to the “how department” first. 

Welcome to the “How Department.” 

First, it’s up to us to internalize that this change is really possible.  

Second, allow yourself to enjoy that feeling of hope that comes with the knowledge that God can change your mindset. 

Third, we must accept that this change is also expected of us. 

 Fourth, understand that God knows that we have the ability to climb out of the slump or He wouldn’t have told us to do so. 

Here’s how God can make you feel better. 

By… 

1. Remembering all those times in the past that God has helped you and others out of previous slumps. 

2. Surrounding ourselves with those positive family members in the congregation you attend. 

3. Gaining some of His wisdom by reaching out to trusted mentors or older Christians who have walked the walk of faith longer than you have.

4. Spending time with God-loving friends who are trying their best, just as you are, and the two of you can mutually encourage one another. 

We have the ability to change, but we have to develop that desire to do so. 

Remember. 

God wants you to succeed and He can’t wait to see you.

It Isn’t Hard To Find The Flaws

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Neal Pollard

Take a moment to think about what happens in the course of a typical day. The coffee’s too hot (or not hot enough) or it tastes funny. The car in front of me is going too slow. The internet’s malfunctioning. The waitress has forgotten me. My coworker is lazy or undependable. My spouse did that annoying thing again. I can’t believe my child left that mess or didn’t do the simple thing I asked. My friend was thoughtless. Think about how easy it is to become critical of everything and everyone. Basic to human nature is a tendency to point out what’s wrong with something and that tendency spills into our speech (or posts). 

One subject that seems to find its way into the crosshairs of critics is the church. Increasingly, we are given privy to its weaknesses, problems, shortcomings, mistakes, failures, ineptnesses, inadequacies, ignorances, and derelictions. Virtually any facet of the church seems fair game, but church leadership, mission, purpose, and function are predictable among the topics. It might be a lengthy article or a quick, social media rant. Scroll through a news feed and do your own research. Did you find one (or a few)? Or look through private groups you are a member of. Is it even worse there?

In every aspect of church life, regarding the “human side,” there will always be room for improvement. The church is full of people, and people sin and fall short of God’s glory. One does not have to look too far or too deep to find problems. 

Each of us has work to do to be a better soul-winner, steward, visionary, time manager, encourager, servant, prayer warrior, student, etc. But it would be very cool to see a revival of communication (written and oral) that says, “Do you know what I love and appreciate about the church?” That does not mean we bury our heads, ignoring problems and especially sin. Instead, it’s about challenging ourselves to be balanced. Whatever we look for, we typically find. Let’s just spend more time looking for what’s right and great about the Lord’s Bride. 

Are You A Bread Squeezer?

Neal Pollard

Samuel Feldman may hold the distinction as the most famous bread vandal in history.

He did $8,000 worth of damage to bread and cookies throughout the Bucks County, Pennsylvania, area. He was going around “poking, pinching, and squeezing” bags of bread and packages of cookies. Finally, one store, suspecting Feldman, put him under surveillance and caught him three times in the act. He is charged with two counts of criminal mischief. Two years of aggravation and loss, caused by an idle person with a mean streak (from Reuters News Story, 9/23/00).

There is always at least one bread-squeezer in any group. The church may even sometimes harbor a few bread-squeezers, too. These are the sore tails, nitpickers, storm clouds who live to rain on others’ parades, those who seem to enjoy causing friction and irritating others, those who hold petty grudges, and general pot-stirrers. They are the busybodies (2 Th. 3:11; 1 Tim. 5:13). Solomon calls one a worthless and wicked person “who spreads strife” (Pr. 6:14; cf. 19–“who spreads strife among brothers”). Paul laments lovers of controversy because they provoke “envy, strife, abusive language, evil suspicions, and constant friction” (1 Tim. 6:4-5).

These bread-squeezers flatten a congregation’s moral, squeeze the worst side out of others, and pick and poke at everyone from the church’s leaders to any other Christian whose name passes between their cross-hairs. They taint the productivity, good will, good deeds, attitude, and joy of a congregation. They brighten entire rooms just by making an exit.

Are you a bread-squeezer? How do you reply when asked, “How are you?” How well do you speak of other Christians? Are you moody? Do you lash out at others when you feel you have been wronged? Do you give the cold shoulder? Do you not speak to others, only to complain that others are unfriendly because they didn’t approach you first? Do you wear your feelings on your sleeves? Are you the type that prefers the role of critic, since there are plenty of others to be the “cheerleader”? If so, then you are a bread-squeezer!

A bread-squeezer is as needed in a congregation as Feldman was needed in Bucks County! He was entirely destructive and he caused others to pay for his bad behavior. Barnabas wasn’t a bread-squeezer (Acts 4:36). Neither was Judas and Silas (Acts 15:32). Certainly, Jesus wasn’t! The church is always in need of more encouraging, uplifting, positive, happy, and contented members. Don’t squeeze the bread!

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