Tag: tongue

The Price Of A Prank

Neal Pollard

A summer intern at the National Transportation Safety Board (NTSB) apparently thought it would be funny to “confirm” the names of the four pilots of Asiana Flight 214 to a TV station in the bay area where the tragic crash occurred less than a week before the prank was played.  An Oakland news anchor read the false, insensitive names as the names appeared on screen.  It was horribly offensive.

While the intern no doubt thought it was funny (and perhaps others encouraged him and thought it was funny, too), he (or she) may feel differently today.  The intern was fired and both the TV station and the NTSB have profusely apologizes for the error.  Asiana Airlines has been seriously considering filing a lawsuit against the station for defamation.  Though the story will probably contain further developments, the damage done is considerable.

David once prayed, “Teach me good judgment and knowledge, for I believe Your commandments” (Ps. 119:66). Would you agree with me that demonstrating poor judgment is an all-too-common frailty with which many of us suffer?  Whether a hasty word  (see Prov. 29:20), impulsive action (cf. 2 Tim. 3:6; Ti. 3:3), or snap judgment (Prov. 18:13), the moment of thoughtlessness is often followed by a mountain of regret.

So many areas of life require sound judgment and forethought, whether big decisions like finances, relationships, education, and career or “little” decisions like how to respond to a store clerk or customer service agent, whether or not to tell the truth in a matter, or how to react to something harsh or negative that somebody says to you.

We never know how costly our rashness will be.  Jephthah could write a book about it (cf. Jud. 11:30ff).  May our prayer ever be, “Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; Keep watch over the door of my lips” (Ps. 141:3).

CONTRADICTING: The Pastime Of Our Time

Have you noticed that, no matter what the topic or matter one may choose to bring up, someone or ones seem to feel compelled to say something to contradict it?  What fuels the activity is known only to the doer, whether a need to seem expert or more knowledgeable, pride, a habit of argumentativeness, or the worldly, age-old practice of “disputing” (Phil. 2:14; 1 Tim. 6:4).  Doctrinally, we are called to lovingly defend God’s truth (Eph. 4:15), to gently help correct a brother (Gal. 6:1) or non-Christian (2 Tim. 2:24-26), and to guard the name of Christ against all attacks.  That is courageous and spiritual.

But, do you know what I am referencing?  That nit-picky, minute, non-essential practice of increasingly many to just “have” to correct somebody and everybody.  Why is that?  Perhaps forums like Facebook feed that tendency, where folks “drive by” somebody’s wall and “need” to be heard and seen as the guru and all-wise.  Perhaps it is something far more benign.  Surely, we don’t see how easily we sign up for the sport of sparring speech.  But, all of us are well served to ask, “What is my purpose in contradicting? What fruitful thing am I seeking to accomplish?”  If we can find no good answer, let’s challenge our own desire to challenge another.  Such makes for “seasonable speech” (cf. Col. 4:6).

“Without The Venom This Time”

Neal Pollard

In Bill Whitehead’s comic strip, “Free Range,” a marriage counselor is mediating an obviously angry dispute between two poisonous snakes.  She exhorts them, “Okay…both of you take a deep breath and try to talk to each other without the venom this time.”  That is hard for snakes to do, but it is important for husbands and wives to heed such advice.

Stress, exhaustion, undisciplined emotion, hurt, mistrust, and fear can all be toxic ingredients in communication between marriage partners.  Rivalry can rout relationship.

The Bible stresses both that the husband love his wife (Eph. 5:25, 28; Col. 3:19) and that the wife love her husband (Tit. 2:4).  Discussing the husband’s relationship to his wife, the Bible urges an attempt to understand her (1 Pet. 3:7), nourish and cherish her (Eph. 5:29), please her (1 Cor. 7:33), and be joined to her (Gen. 2:24).  Discussing her relationship to him, God’s Word uses ideas like respect (Eph. 5:33), be subject (Eph. 5:22; Tit. 2:5), be submissive (1 Pet. 3:1), display chaste and respectful behavior (1 Pet. 3:2), and be kind (Tit. 2:5).  There is not much wiggle room in these passages for verbal venom.

Next time you feel your rattler rising, remember who you are and what God expects of you.  Then, take a moment to see your spouse for who they are and all they mean to you.  You are friends (and lovers), not foes.  You are heirs together of the grace of life (1 Pet. 3:7).  That is enough to de-fang our discussions!  Disagreements are inevitable.  Destructiveness is iniquity.

ORAL HYGIENE (or “VERBAL SNIPERS”)

Neal Pollard

Routine teeth cleaning can be pleasant, but cavities, extractions, and root canals, from what I hear, are less than thrilling.  No matter how well you think you are doing with “home care,” the dentist will always have suggestions for how you can improve your “oral hygiene,” from flossing and regular brushing to avoiding certain types of food (i.e., sugary and staining stuff).

But, how is our spiritual “oral hygiene”?  Sometimes, we equate such with abstaining from profanity and vulgarity.  But, doesn’t God expect more?  Growing up in the church, I have preserved in my mind a “Hall of Fame” of people who have filled their speech and words with encouragement, truth, gentleness, and thoughtfulness.  They brighten the lives they touch, altering them for the better.  However, I have seen too many Christians in every congregation I can remember whose speech is rotten and decayed.  Ironically, they often are those who faithfully attend and are generally morally and ethically upright.  Yet, they have slipped the bridle off their tongue to the harm and detriment of others.

Neither one’s age, perceived position and importance, nor tenure in a congregation entitles him or her to riddle others with verbal bullets.  Insults, discouragement, destructive criticism, loveless rebukes, railings, and the like have proven stumbling blocks to many visitors, new Christians, weak Christians, or others who are spiritually vulnerable.  I cannot count the specific number of times I have tried to help these wounded ones pick up the pieces after razor-sharp comments made by thoughtless brothers and sisters who ought to know better.  The offenders may not have any idea of the havoc they cause, but I am certain that some will be shocked and astonished at the judgment.

Jesus taught that “the mouth speaks out of that which fills the heart” and “that every careless word that people speak, they shall give an accounting for it in the day of judgment. For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned” (Mt. 12:34b, 36-37).  What do we think James means when he says that the tongue “is set on fire by hell” (Js. 3:6)?  The kind of speech referenced above is certainly not ignited by heaven!

Please consider that your speech is a direct reflection of the content of your heart!  Be mortified at the thought of a word of yours causing anyone to stumble and fall!  However important or unimportant you believe yourself to be, realize the potential harm or good you do simply by what you say.  Am I talking about your speech?  Well, ask if your speech is “with grace, seasoned with salt” (Col. 4:6), wholesome, edifying, needful, and gracious (Eph. 4:29)?  If it is not, please keep it to yourself!

Let us remember the words Will Carleton wrote in “The First Settler’s Story”:

Boys flying kites haul in their white-winged birds;
You can’t do that way when you’re flying words.
“Careful with fire,” is good advice we know
“Careful with words,” is ten times doubly so.
Thoughts unexpressed may sometimes fall back dead;
But God Himself can’t kill them when they’re said.