Tag: disagreement

Such A Sharp Disagreement!

Neal Pollard

How many times has it happened that two Christians had such different ideas and drew such different conclusions that it affected their ability to work together? Often, this rift permanently affects the relationship. They don’t speak to each other and even speak poorly of each other. Such a reaction actually hurts the influence and progress of the church, and it contradicts the biblical remedy (Rom. 12:17-18; Mat. 5:23-24). 

In Acts 15, as is often the case when these schisms occur, the parties involved are actually trying to do good for the Lord. After the Jerusalem meeting (15:1-35), Paul suggests to Barnabas that they “return and visit the brethren in every city in which we proclaimed the word of the Lord, and see how they are” (36). Barnabas loved the idea. These men had obviously worked well together (ch. 13-14). From the earliest days of his conversion, Paul had had an advocate and supporter in Barnabas (9:26-31). They had been in some difficult trenches on the first journey. In other words, they had forged a strong bond.

But, trouble arose! “Barnabas wanted to take John, called Mark, along with them also. But Paul kept insisting that they should not take him along who had deserted them in Pamphylia and had not gone with them to the work” (37-38). Barnabas was ever the encourager (4:36). John Mark was his cousin (Col. 4:10), which had to have complicated the situation for him. Paul was a tenacious go-getter, willing to risk his neck for the gospel. Did he see John Mark as soft, unreliable, or immature? 

There is no doubt that this created so much friction that the Holy Spirit through Luke calls it a “sharp disagreement” (39). This word, when used physically, described an attack of fever at its highest point–which often causes delirium! It was an irritation that reached exasperation. It was so bad that they separated from one another. This could have been the pathetic ending of so much global evangelism. They could have gotten out their competing scrolls and “written each other up” across the brotherhood, or posted on some ancient equivalent of social media about how much of a victim they were or how evil each other was. We have seen such small-mindedness in our own day. But, what did they do?

Barnabas went ahead and took Mark and they sailed to Cyprus (39). Paul took Silas with him, sent by the Antioch church and “strengthening the churches” (40-41). Luke traces the rest of Paul’s heroic, faithful mission work throughout the rest of the book of Acts. What about Barnabas? It appears that the Holy Spirit is pretty silent about his activity after their parting of the ways (1 Cor. 9:6; Gal. 2:1ff seem to record events during the first missionary journey or before). Yet, his legacy is implied through the mention of John Mark. When Paul was in prison, after his missionary journeys are done, he calls him “my fellow worker” (Phile. 24). He recommends Mark to the church at Colossae about the same time (4:10). Some of Paul’s last recorded words are, “Pick up Mark and bring him with you, for he is useful to me for service” (2 Tim. 4:11). 

Does that sound like the Hatfields and McCoys? Does it sound like competitors and enemies? They could not resolve their difference and they went their separate ways, but they remained brethren. Apparently, they continued to work together even if in different ways. Perhaps they might say they regretted letting this disagreement get so sharp, but they did not let it distract them from the mission. May that spirit live in you and me today! 

More Light Than Heat

Neal Pollard

In Shakespeare’s Hamlet, Polonius counsels his daughter, Ophelia, about Hamlet’s vows of love, saying, “When the blood burns, how prodigal the soul lends the tongue vows. These blazes, daughter, giving more light than heat, extinct in both even in their promise as it is a-making, you must not take for fire” (Act 1, Scene 3). Her point is that passionate desire causes a man to profusely promise anything in order to get what he wants, but it may lack substance and trustworthiness. It appears more promising than it really is. We’ve likely all witnessed and experienced this. What good is a fire if it doesn’t produce heat?

When it comes to discussing religious matters, things can get pretty heated. Unfortunately, as the temperature rises, solid conclusions are elusive because there is much more emotion than illumination. Inasmuch as God’s Word is to be a light and lamp (Ps. 119:105), these are times where all are benefited by more light than heat. Too often, instead of proving or disproving something, we resort to personal attacks on the other person, assert a position appealing to a variety of alleged proofs or rationales without benefit of a singular Scripture, or we’ll abuse, distort, and contort a passage to say what it does not mean. As battle lines are drawn and trenches are dug, the two sides become wider and more intensely apart while the matter under discussion fades into the background. 

Because the New Testament repeatedly commands unity (Eph. 4:1ff; 1 Cor. 1:10-13), we must “pursue the things which make for peace and the building up of one another” (Rom. 14:19). Are there tangible actions we can take to pursue more light than heat in these matters that distress our unity?

  • Genuinely listen. That doesn’t mean merely hear what the other is saying, but listen open-mindedly, seeking to understand what the other person is saying. Don’t presuppose or listen with prejudice. Truly, “He who gives an answer before he hears, It is folly and shame to him” (Prov. 18:13). 
  • Genuinely love. Love for God should be preeminent, but such love is not in opposition to brotherly love. In fact, they are intrinsically bound together (1 Jn. 4:20-21). While love does not mean compromising truth, it will prompt us to do what love requires (cf. 1 Cor. 13:4-8)—be patient, be kind, act becomingly, don’t be provoked, etc. 
  • Genuinely learn. Do we really know their view or merely think we do? This requires great self-examination and disciplined introspection. If we champion a position and have argued the matter before, we may think our fellow disputant believes what he or she does not actually believe. Preconceptions eclipse thoughtful interaction. We should ever be students, making sure we’ve not missed it. 
  • Genuinely long. Peace and unity will sometimes be impossible, but we shouldn’t let that be because we didn’t sincerely seek it. By lovingly seeing the other person as an eternal soul for whom Christ died (as well as any and all who would be influenced by the other person), surely we will strive to gently, civilly, and earnestly discuss the matter (cf. 2 Tim. 2:24-26). 

We live in divisive times. They are carnal times, full of “bitterness and wrath and clamor and slander…with all malice” (Eph. 4:31). We must remember that the “anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God” (Jas. 1:20). What does? God’s Word (Jas. 1:18-25)! Too often, we’ll be locked in matters of truth and error and must uphold truth. But let’s be so careful to discern when that’s the case and always speak the truth in love (Eph. 4:15). Such will produce light rather than heat!

Burn Light Wood Heat Fire Red Burning Flame

HOW DO WE TREAT ONE ANOTHER?

Neal Pollard

As we live in a culture of disrespect, Christians have an added responsibility to give thought to how we speak to one another.  Civility, courtesy, and manners were once staple subjects taught in every home, but those days are increasingly relegated to the yearbooks of nostalgia.  Yet, it shouldn’t be so with God’s people.  Especially if we, as we claim in our songs, sermons, and speech, love one another, that will be reflected in speaking kind words even when we feel impatience, disagreement, or aggravation toward another. This is difficult, but it is a mark of our bearing the fruit of the Spirit.

In the last several chapters of Romans, Paul reinforces this idea of loving, kind treatment of one another.  He urges the church to “be devoted to one another in brotherly love” (12:10), “give preference to one another” (12:10), “be of the same mind toward one another” (12:16), “love one another” (13:8), “let us not judge one another” (14:13), “build up one another” (14:19), “be of the same mind with one another” (15:5), “accept one another” (15:7), “able to admonish one another” (15:14, but notice that this comes from those who are “full of goodness”), and “greet one another with a holy kiss” (16:16).

So how do we lift that off the page and put it into practice?  Think about any and every interaction we have with other members of the Lord’s body.  Give forethought to how you answer them and speak to them.  Apply this to our leaders, our peers, and those who are led by our example. Do your words and attitudes help create the kind of atmosphere Paul repeatedly calls for, or do they undermine it and make it difficult.  It is so easy to allow pride, selfishness, lack of self-discernment, or the like to erode the kindness from our demeanor.  But now more than ever, we need to bear this distinctive mark in a world who has seemingly lost sight of it.  When we treat each other the way Paul encourages, we will not only build each other up but we will draw the world to the Lord.  It is the mark of true discipleship (John 13:34-35).  In our busy, hectic, stressful lives, may we redouble our efforts to be ever be edifiers and never be nullifiers!