Honoring Our Aging Parents: A Sacred Duty

Brent Pollard

Have you ever considered the number of visits you have remaining with your elderly parents? If they are in their seventies and you only see them a few times a year, you could have less than 100 days to spend with them. This poignant reality, drawn from Psalm 90.12—“So teach us to number our days, That we may present to You a heart of wisdom” (NASB95)—compels us to value the limited moments we share with our parents.

Scripture emphasizes our obligation to honor our parents, which persists throughout their later years. The fifth commandment states, “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which the Lord your God gives you.” (Exodus 20.12 NASB95). In Mark 7.9-13, Jesus emphasized this point by condemning the Pharisees for exploiting the “Corban” loophole, which allowed them to declare resources as dedicated to God to avoid providing support for their elderly parents. He emphasized that honoring parents is essential and cannot be compromised. Similarly, Paul states in 1 Timothy 5.4 (NASB95): “They must first learn to practice piety in regard to their own family and to make some return to their parents; for this is acceptable in the sight of God,” emphasizing that caring for parents is an expression of faithfulness.

What does “honor” signify as parents grow older? The Hebrew term kabab conveys a sense of weight and respect, manifesting in concrete actions such as dedicating time, resources, and presence. We carry a responsibility from the years they invested in us, a “return” that embodies appreciation and affection. Proverbs 23.22 (NASB95) states, “Listen to your father who begot you, And do not despise your mother when she is old,” as a reminder to cherish them even in their vulnerability.

Neglecting this duty has serious consequences. Harry Chapin’s “Cat’s in the Cradle” depicts a father who is too busy to care for his son, only to face the same neglect in old age: “My boy was just like me.” This cultural parable reflects a current crisis: loneliness among the elderly. Research indicates that one in three adults over 50 experiences regular feelings of isolation, which are associated with depression and an increased risk of premature death. Our presence can break the cycle, bringing joy and connection to those most needing it.

How can we fulfill this biblical call in our lives? Here are some practical steps to consider:

1. Prioritize Time: Schedule regular visits, calls, or video chats. Even short interactions can make a significant difference.

2. Offer Support: Assist with errands, medical needs, or financial issues. If you’re not nearby, consider arranging help through others.

3. Be Present: Make sure to invest time in hearing their stories and sharing your experiences with them. This action demonstrates that they continue to hold significance in your life.

4. Include Them: Invite them to family events to reinforce their place in your life.

5. Support Spiritually: Pray alongside them or encourage their faith, honoring their legacy.

We should fully accept this privilege and dismiss contemporary “Corban” justifications, such as busyness, distance, or misaligned priorities. Looking after our parents goes beyond mere duty; it embodies the love of God that transcends generations. As Paul cautions in 1 Timothy 5.8, failing to address this undermines our faith. Let us take action before time slips away and discover the blessings of embracing this sacred responsibility.