Let us delve into the depths of a father’s concern as we reflect on the sacred role of fatherhood, drawing inspiration from the stories of four fathers in Scripture. We learn profound lessons about love, leadership, redemption, and our children’s spiritual well-being from their experiences.
Let us start with the most unfavorable example: Eli. Eli is more concerned with his position and its trappings than his relationship with his sons. Eli never restrained his sons despite their blasphemy and sexual immorality. The writer of Hebrews reminds us that a father’s discipline indicates a relationship (Hebrews 12.4–11). According to the implication, only illegitimate (i.e., unloved) children are left undisciplined. Though we don’t know Eli’s heart, we must question his love for his sons by allowing them to be unruly.
Eli may have become more enamored with his position’s prestige than fatherhood’s benefits (cf. Psalm 127.3-5). He habitually sat on an elevated seat near the Tabernacle’s entrance (1 Samuel 1.9). As Sigmund Freud might have suggested, his elevated platform could represent how he wished others to see him or how he viewed himself.
God didn’t like it because it demonstrated Eli’s desire for glory that belonged only to God. Thus, God had had enough of Eli and his sons and sent an unnamed prophet and the young Samuel to inform Eli of his and his family’s demise. The news that caused Eli to fall from his elevated seat on the day his sons died in fulfillment of prophecy was not the deaths of his sons but that the Philistines had taken the Ark of the Covenant (1 Samuel 4.18).
Even if a man is serving God, he must prioritize the well-being of his children. The father’s concern should be the nurturing and admonition of the Lord (Ephesians 6.4), not the trappings of success or status.
Moving on, we encounter the mighty King David, a man after God’s heart (1 Samuel 13.14; Acts 13.22). David teaches us to strike a balance between love and obligation. He accomplishes this by showing concern for his traitorous son Absalom, who is unworthy of such consideration. This misplaced concern caused David to lose sight of his responsibility to his loyal subjects, who had defended David and his family from patricide and regicide.
This display did not sit well with General Joab. Note 2 Samuel 19.5-7.
Then Joab came into the house to the king and said, “Today you have covered with shame the faces of all your servants, who today have saved your life and the lives of your sons and daughters, the lives of your wives, and the lives of your concubines, by loving those who hate you, and by hating those who love you. For you have shown today that princes and servants are nothing to you; for I know this day that if Absalom were alive and all of us were dead today, then you would be pleased. Now therefore arise, go out and speak kindly to your servants, for I swear by the Lord, if you do not go out, surely not a man will pass the night with you, and this will be worse for you than all the evil that has come upon you from your youth until now.” (NASB95)
While David’s affection for Absalom was undeniable, his leadership suffered as a result, and his devoted followers bore the brunt of the consequences. Fathers must strike a delicate balance of love, responsibility, and obligation. Most fathers may never know the weight of a crown, but all fathers must learn to show compassion without sacrificing justice and to extend forgiveness while maintaining accountability.
Job is our next father. Job exemplifies proper concern for one’s children’s spiritual well-being. Job constantly offered sacrifices on his children’s behalf in case they had sinned (Job 1.5). Job recognized the significance of their spiritual journey and interceded on their behalf before God. Fathers should model Job by encouraging their children’s spiritual development alongside their physical growth. Oh, if all fathers were as concerned about their children!
Finally, we should mention the ideal father, the prodigal’s father (Luke 15.11ff). In the story, the father genuinely cares about his son. This care reveals this father’s unconditional love and allows the prodigal son to find redemption. We see the unfathomable love of a father in this parable. Every father should try to live up to this standard.
Although his son had squandered his inheritance and caused him great pain, the prodigal father’s concern outweighed his pain. His heart was overflowing with unconditional love and longing for his errant child. Indeed, this father demonstrates that a perfect father’s love knows no bounds, and redemption is always available. We thank God that this Father is also our heavenly Father.
As we conclude these reflections, let us embrace the complex concern that these biblical fathers demonstrated. Fathers should prioritize meaningful connections with their children, devoting time and effort to nurturing and disciplining them. Let them remember that love and obligation can coexist and that they can lead their families with grace and accountability. Above all, fathers should model the unconditional love of the Heavenly Father by cultivating an environment of redemption, forgiveness, and spiritual growth.
May God give fathers the strength to prioritize their children’s spiritual well-being, interceding on their behalf, directing them toward righteousness, and empowering them to model His love, compassion, and wisdom in their homes.
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