Building Godly Relationships

Carl Pollard

Growing up, I loved our post-church basketball games. Our teen group, the Dream Team, was unbeatable—until one kid joined us. He never passed the ball, always driving solo, ignoring open teammates. No matter how talented we were, his refusal to work together tanked us every time. It’s a simple truth: even the strong crumble without unity. Ephesians 4:1-6 drives this home, and it’s a message everyone needs.

The world craves genuine connection—58% of churchgoers feel lonely, and 41% feel invisible, per a 2023 Cigna study. That’s not God’s plan. He didn’t save us for shallow “how are you’s” or a spiritual country club. He called us to deep, Christlike bonds, whether in a church, family, or community. Our relationships are the foundation for living out God’s purpose, but strained connections, sharp words, or betrayals can leave them shallow when God calls us to dive in fully.

Ephesians 4 shows the way. Paul, writing from prison, urged the diverse Ephesian church—much like our varied congregations today—to live in humility, gentleness, patience, and love, preserving unity. Paul’s call is clear: unity starts with a worthy walk (v. 1), reflecting the gospel that saved us. It’s built on character—humility, gentleness, patience, and bearing with one another in love (vv. 2-3). These aren’t just ideals; they’re necessities.

Our unity is grounded in truth: one body, one Spirit, one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God (vv. 4-6). When we live this, we become a fortress Satan can’t breach. But unforgiveness, bitterness, jealousy, or self-focus? They’re cracks that let division in. Unity brings blessings: God’s favor (Psalm 133:3), greater productivity (Ecclesiastes 4:9), and sustainability (Mark 3:25). Division, though, breeds chaos.

So, how do we restore unity? Pray for each other—it’s hard to stay mad when you’re lifting someone up (James 5:16). Love fervently, as Jesus commanded (John 13:35). Let go of past hurts (Philippians 3:13). Carry each other’s burdens (Galatians 6:2). Be humble—reach out to someone you’ve clashed with or don’t know well. Listen, pray, forgive.

Satan targets our relationships because he knows united people are unstoppable. If you’re struggling to love or forgive, pray about it. Talk it out. Be a source of unity. None of us are perfect, but God calls us to something better. Whether in a church or any community, let’s root our relationships in the gospel, pursue humility, and show the world Christ’s love through our unity.