I STILL BELIEVE IN MARRIAGE

Neal Pollard

Marriage matters are continuously in the news.  One of the top entertainment news stories of the week involves the pending marriage of Prince William to Kate Middleton on April 29, 2011.  News stories about gay marriage regularly pepper the newsprint and online media outlets, from Prop 8 to “don’t ask, don’t tell,” to any number of such stories.

But, a particular “news item” on marriage really grabbed me.  A Time/Pew research poll of 2,691 adults found that 40 percent of Americans believe that marriage is becoming obsolete.  Apparently, a similar poll conducted in 1978 found that just 28 percent had such feelings about marriage at that time.  44 percent of those ages 18-29 saw marriage as obsolete, while 32 percent of those 65 and older felt the same.  Besides the young, those who had so high a percentage of skepticism about marriage included the uneducated and the poor. In 1960, 72 percent of all adults were married.  Today, that number is at 52 percent.

People can debate whether or not the pool of the polled was skewed or fairly selected or why people responded as they did, but I am undeterred.  I still believe in marriage.  Marriage was still the first institution created by God (Gen. 2:18-24).  Marriage is still the best way to learn the finesse of communication and interpersonal relationships, including negotiation, team-building, and shared success.  Where else can intimacy be more fully experienced than in a lifetime, monogamous relationship where the layers of complexity and interest are only multiplied through the days and years of life together?

Marriage creates fellow heirs of the grace of life (1 Pet. 3:7).  Marriage creates greater self-esteem, self-confidence, self-image, and self-identity, when both partners strive to live it out according to the pattern (cf. Eph. 5:22-32).

I am certain that my positive image of marriage is prejudiced by my 18-plus years of experience with it.  But, I believe in it despite the bumps and bruises that are inevitable on such an exciting journey.  My spouse is imperfect.  But, my spouse’s spouse is really imperfect.  Too many may have lost faith in marriage due to some poor examples of it.  No doubt the preaching of the culture seeks to dissuade rather than persuade people to participate in traditional marriage, as God outlines it.  Doing the will of God, following His pattern for anything, including relationships, will never be obsolete!